CHAPTER TWENTY ONE － GOOD THINGS DON'T LAST
( warning: the claimers, sa attempt.
this is the darkest thing ive written,
and was very hard to write, based off
my own experiences. if you'd rather
skip to the next chapter, please do. )

"How hungry are you on a scale of one to ten?" Rick asked the following morning, when the group of six woke up the following morning. He was smiling a little, in charge of cooking the can of yams Nadia had kept in her pack. It wasn't much, let alone enough to fill so many stomachs, but it'd get them going for the day.

Michonne and Nadia were finishing packing up the rest of their makeshift campsite, with Mason going out to check the snares Rick set up with him last night. Carl and Kate sat next to Rick, stomachs growling needingly.

"Fifteen," the boy grumbled.

"Twenty eight," piped Michonne a few feet away, shoving down the contents of her backpack so she could actually zip it up.

"Forty," Said Nadia.

"Eight hundred." Kate sighed longingly.

"Yeah, well...I should probably check on Mason with those snares. These yams look rather sad." As Rick stood, his son peered up at him.

"Can I go with you?"

"How else you gonna learn?" The man chuckled, a deep rumble in his throat. "You too, Kate. Unless you'd prefer to watch the yams."

She shook her head, giving it one last shake before standing up herself and turning to Michonne. "Will you two be okay to watch the food if we go check on him?"

Nadia nodded, climbing over some twigs to go sit next to the fire. "I'll stay, but make sure he's alright. When Rick tried showing him how to set it up last night, he got distracted and couldn't finish it."

Kate sighed. "He's British. I don't think they have a big hunting culture up there."

The three made their way out west, coming to the trail that Rick, Michonne, and Carl had been on when he'd heard those voices last night. It'd been an insane adlucky coincidence, one that Kate was utterly thankful for. But they hadn't been the ones to come across the school bus before she had. They hadn't even been in that area at all, and had stuck to the train tracks the past four or five days. I they'd survived, what we're the chances of those who hadn't been on the bus in the first place making it too?

"We'll stay another day or two." Rick said decisively, hands warm in his pockets. The air was starting to become colder in the mornings again, and his beard was growing back out, as he couldn't shave it anymore now that they didn't have access to a mirror or shaving cream. "Get some more rest. Let Kate and I finish healing up."

"We're close, right? To Terminus."

"We are." He told his son.

"When we get there, are we gonna tell them everything that's happened to us－ all the stuff we've done? Are we gonna tell them the truth?"

"If you trust them enough to want to." Kate replied. "Who we are, at least."

"Yah, but...how do you say that? Who are we?" The leaves crunched loudly underneath Carl's feet, but he wouldn't get the answer, as out stumbled a few walkers, practically being chased by a very disheveled looking Mason.

"Those bloody－ they were trying to eat our breakfast!" He hissed, clambering one over the head with a large stick. The walker turned, bearing its rotten either at him, only to collapse as he hit it three more times, ending its suffering by jabbing the end if the stick through its eye.

"Did we catch anything?" Rick asked as he as Kate stabbed the fellow two walkers in the head.

"Just one thing. It's small, a squirrel of sorts." He said.

"That'll do." Rick followed after Mason, leading to the group to the snare trap, where low and behold, a tiny animal had been caught and killed, of which the man lifted it out carefully, setting it into a bag of his. "So, this is just a simple slipknot. Tie one on both ends, then you tighten one side to a branch. You see how the ground here is sort of like a funnel shape?"

Kate was just glad that thing wasn't in her bag. All of her belongings from the start were gone for real now, and she'd accepted that quickly after the fall of the prison. Her photos were the only thing she found herself missing though, because it was the only thing she had left to remember exactly what her family looked like. In some ways, she knew she was slowly beginning to forget what her parents and younger sister looked like. It was bound to happen. Would she forget the faces of everyone who was important to her?

"It's a trail?" Carl asked, making his dad beam. Who knows how much he'd wanted to do stuff like this before the dead rose, back when his son was too young to care. From what she'd learned about him, the fourteen year old had an immense interest in comics and games during his school days. In some ways, this was school too; survival show.

"That's right. That's where you want to set the noose, so you hide it with leaves and put sticks all around it, that way any animals running by have to run this way, right into the－"

"Help! Somebody help!" Came a blood curdling scream, towards the eastern end of the woods. It made Rick's smile drop, and Mason's eyes widen. Kate felt her own blood run cold, her thoughts immediately rushing towards the two women they'd left back at the campsite, but this voice was male.

Carl jumped up immediately, taking off through the trees, not caring for any direction or logic as he chased after the voice, forcing the group to run after him into a small grassy clearing. The strange man was alone, surrounded by maybe twenty walkers, who slowly crept in closer to him. The man looked utterly terrified, snapping his head right and left as the gap became smaller.

Rick practically tore at the jacket his son wore, wrestling him away with as much force as he could without hurting him, ultimately forcing him back into his lap as they collapsed in the dying leaves. Carl had his gun raised, as if readying himself to play hero and save him, the way he'd want to be saved.

"Stop," Rick hissed quietly, wrapping his arms around him. "We can't help him."

"But we could－"

He turned his head to Mason, who'd been the one to vocalize the thought. "One shot, and that entire herd heads our way, or worse, back to your wife and Michonne. We don't have enough bullets for even a third of them, let alone the energy to take them all on."

"What? So we should just leave him to die?" The blonde snapped.

"We can't save him without getting ourselves killed instead. We don't know him."

The stranger began to shriek, his mouth wide as a walker bit into his face, right where his eye and forehead had been. By then, the group of walkers engulfed his body quickly, climbing overhim and sending his suffering form straight into the dirt. His cries died off rather quickly after, and Kate sucked in a deep breath, looking away from the scene.

"We need to go," She whispered, and they each slowly nodded.

Nadia and Michonne were already on the tracks by the time the other four got there, sighing in relief and embracing their friends. They'd heard it too, and Nadia had worried it could've been Mason screaming, forcing Michonne to chase after her until they both made it to the tracks.

They didn't take about what they saw after that, they didn't have the time anyways. The hoard was following the sound of their crunching footsteps. None of them were sure how long it took them to actually outrun those walkers, Kate just knew she as exhausted and starving by then. The yams had, unfortunately, gone to waste back in their camp, and the group had made their way back to the main road again, a long winding stretch of trees and concrete for miles.

It'd been a half hour, perhaps. They'd worked up a fair appetite, but by then, all they could do was keep moving forwards, their bodies slowly beginning to drag and their pace slowing down to just a casual walk, even if nothing about their situation was casual anymore. They only stopped by the middle of he afternoon, when the sun was starting to hide behind the trees, blinding you with a deadly orange glow in the spots it peaked through.

There was a van there, enough to actually fit all six of them if they sat up properly, but the gears were slightly rusted and the battery was a bust. It wasn't like they could drive it the rest of the journey. What they could do was rest again in shifts, about four of them sleeping at a time tops, if they wanted. The seats stretched all the way across too, made of ugly carpeting, and the front windshield was cracked.

Mason and Michonne took first watch, and then whenever one of them got tired, they'd switch with Kate or Rick. Nadia would take the final watch with whoever was left, as they each silently agreed to let Carl believe he'd take watch, only to let him sleep through the night. At least one of them should.

It was late when Kate woke up to take Mason's spot, enough for the air to be real chilly, but not enough for her to be totally enraptured in darkness. The fire was the only thing providing any source of heat, even if it wasn't bright enough to really let her see all the way across the road. Michonne and her would stay up together for another half hour until she decided to switch out with Rick for the front seat. The couple was laying down in the large truck, though it was contorted and definitely uncomfortable. Carl was draped out in the middle of the van, legs hanging off into the floorboard.

The squirrel was the only thing they had, and with no place to keep it cool, it'd been eaten for dinner, and Kate could only dream of eating the whole thing. Maybe in a better world, where she didn't have debate between going hungry herself, or insisting on giving it to the teenager that needed it just as much as she did.

Rick chuckled though from her right when he heard her stomach grumble. "You know, all we've talked about since getting here is food. About what we miss, and what we hope to find."

"I forgot what it feels like, and how much it actually sucks." Kate muttered, leaning her back against the front of the van. "We had to good at the prison, even with all the rationing. Even stopping Woodbury, I never went hungry. I don't think I want to forget again. I want to savor the good things while they last."

"Don't worry, we're close. We went off track after we found each other again, but...we'll be there sometime in the morning. Just gotta make it through another day." He assured, wrists hanging off of his knees. The man was sitting up despite this, the embers creating a rather nice glow on his healing face. "If folks there are taking people in, they have to be strong, with some kind of system."

Kate knew she was developing feelings for him, that it wasn't just close friendship anymore. Even being out in the open like this, being around him helped her stay calm, level headed. She hadn't even felt the desire to throw up, or the nastiness of motion sickness in a hot minute. It was also utterly terrifying, because while she had been number before to the pain, now that she knew where her heart stood, she wasn't sure if she could open up like that again, let alone in a world that just adored ripping families apart.

"You think its legit? Nadia wasn't so sure back when we saw the sign." She hummed. "I only cared about going because I was hungry, and because I'm hoping our people are there."

"Your brother?" Rick called her out softly, and she nodded. "I hope he's there. I hope they're all there, but you know there's a chance they might not be, right? I don't want you to be let down or hurt if he's not there."

Kate sighed, rubbing her face. "I want to believe in the good of this world while I still can. I want to believe that not every place is bad or gone. We haven't had much luck these past few months, have we?"

"I stopped believing in good a long time ago." He admitted quietly. "After Shane. After Lori. After....Judith. There's no good or evil anymore. Just...people."

"Then why keep fighting? Is it for Carl?"

"Yes," Rick stated, "but also because I'm too stubborn to die."

Kate chuckled, shaking her head. "You're not too stubborn to die, you're determined to make sure your son doesn't. That's the difference. It's what makes you good, even after the shitty things we've all had to do to survive. You do it because you love the people you care about."

Rick went to respond, but all he could do was hop to his feet, blue eyes blinking into the dark void at the sound of a twig that snapped in the distance. Then silence, Kate slowly climbing to stand next to him as quietly as she could, praying it was a lone walker; but that sound...it was too sudden, and there were no snarls. An animal, at best, wouldn't even get close to them by the fire, not a smart one.

He slowly let out a breath as one pause turned into over a minute of nothingness, and crouched back down to tend to the fire. "I don't know if it's a good place, but I know we brought people in when they needed it, and that it became more than just us. It became a place to live. Terminus...it could be like that for－"

A gun was pressed to his temple, a sweaty hand immediately covering Kate's mouth so she couldn't scream at the sight. The owner's other hand slithered around her waist, bringing her back into the chest of a taller figure she could not see.

"Oh, dearie me!" The owner of the gun laughed. Figures began to appear into the frame of limited moonlight and firelight they had. Nine men, Kate counted, possibly more lingering out of view. "You screwed up, asshole. You hear me? You screwed up."

Kate met Rick's eyes, noting the way they'd darkened instantly, but not at her. He wouldn't even give the strangers the satisfaction of looking at them the way he stared down the hand over her mouth; had a gun not been pressed to his temple, she would've already bit off the hand in question. If she had, she would've been as good as dead, but with five of the most precious people at risk, she knew it wouldn't have been so simple. They would've suffered instead.

"Today's a day of reckoning, sir! Restitution, a balancing if the whole damn universe." She could see now that the man speaking was lean, his grey goatee matching the hair on top of his head. He must've been in his fifties, maybe early sixties, though he seemed amongst one of the older ones in his group. The rest were probably in their forties or fifties.

A hand came up to pat the van window, and from the slight movement inside, Kate knew Carl was awake. And when there was another slap, she saw Michonne's eyes snap open in the front. One final knock, and both Nadia and Mason were awake in the back, their head poking out from behind the seats.

"Shit, and I was thinking of turning in for the night on New Year's Eve! Now, who's gonna count down the ball dropper with me, huh?" The stranger cackled. "Ten Mississippi! Nine Mississippi! Eight Mississippi－"

"Joe! Hold up!

Kate knew this voice as soon as she heard it, the figure immediately stepping forth to reveal himself. Daryl, alive and well, next to the psychopaths holding her Rick at gunpoint. Her breath hitched, eyes breaking from his to look at their old friend. She wanted to feel betrayed, she wanted to be angry, and hurt; but all Kate really recognized was the confusion in her heart.

The man with the gun, now known as Joe, groaned. "You're stopping me on eight, Daryl."

"Just...hold up." He replied quietly, eyes widening in pure horror as the situation actually set in for him. Both that his true family was alive, but that he was standing with the men taunting them.

"This is the guy that killed Lou, so we've got nothing to talk about." Another man spat from next to him, no doubt recognizing Rick from some point in the past.

"The thing is, ever since the world ended, all we've got is time." Joe hummed. "Say your piece, Daryl."

"These people－ you're gonna let them go. These are good people."

All echoes of a fun time had left the graying man's face. "You see..Now, I think Lou would disagree with you on that. I'll, of course, have to speak for him and all, cause your friend here strangled him in a bathroom."

Daryl didn't even bat an eye at the, most likely true, accusation. He dropped his crossbow, making Kate scream internally. These werent the sort of people to be worked down with mere words. They were set in their ways, and liked it that way. "You want blood, I get it. Take it from me, man. Come on."

Joe sneered, staring st him like he was the crazy one. "This man killed our friend. You say he's good people. See, now that...that right there is a lie. It's a lie! Teach him, fellas! Teach him all the way!"

Kate squeaked, feeling the hand tighten itself around her lips upon watching Joe make a defense and willing victim out of her friend, punching him so hard in the gut that he fell on his back. The rest of his own friends would circle round him, save for four, each taking turns kicking and throwing their fists into him. Corporal punishment, but without any real authority. Joe was the leader, and whenever he thought someone wasn't honest enough, they were punished with bruises and internal bleeding.

She still didn't fight, because she knew Daryl, for the second time in his life, purposefully choose not to do so. Last time, it'd been under the guise of never hitting a woman, never succumbing to the monster Woodbury tried to paint him as. This time, he was pained a traitor to men who didn't even know the real him. And with every kick, every hit, the harder it'd be once he decided to try.

Carl being dragged out of the van didn't elicit the same reaction out of her, and she immediately bit at the hand around her, not even thinking about it as she jerked forth in his grip, collapsing against the harsh pavement. He was struggling, almost choking around the thick arm around him, his captor practically twice his size, and thrice his age.

"You leave him be!" Rick had never spat at anyone in such a way before, every inch of hate in his being flying out as he noticed the scene himself. "Listen, it was me. It was just me."

Michonne was at gunpoint by another man, practically slammed onto her knees. Nadia had tears in her eyes, struggling in one's hold as she tried to get to Mason, who had a knife to his throat, the tiniest bit of blood visible. Kate couldn't even see them fully, not enough, and she wasn't even sure if that was worse or not.

Her own shirt had ridden up when she fell, belly rubbing against the dirt and rocks on the grounds. Instead of being behind her, the man she'd bitten was now on top of her, kneeling over her. He pinned her arms against her back, hot breath tickling her neck and spine, taking his anger out in his tight grip now thatchis nails dug into her. She felt gross, she felt exposed, but she wasn't even showing more skin that she'd ever had before.

"See, now that's right. That's not some damn lie." Joe said, far too casual for a monster. "Look, we can settle this. We're reasonable men. First, we're going to beat Daryl to death. Then we'll have the girls, maybe the Mexican one first. Make that boyfriend of hers watch before we kill him too. Then, after each have had a turn, the boy. Then, I'm gonna shoot you, and we'll finally be square."

Kate felt the hands on her shift, one holding her wrists while the other ran up her back, disappearing underneath her shirt amd jacket. Her heartbeat was ramming into her ears, blood pumping fast as the picture became clear, her biggest fear a reality. The biggest fear she had for all of them there.

"You let them go." Rick seethed through heavy breathing.

Kate looked over at the bald man above a sobbing Carl, a sickly grin written onto his face as he tried to pin him down. Michonne was silent, as though she'd accepted her fate, and just wanted a bullet in her head to end it instead. Mason could barely even breathe, and Nadia was working herself into pure exhaustion with how much she struggled to get to him.

Maybe she could live with the trauma, if we're just her. Numb it out like the rest of her pain. But her friends didn't deserve this. She wouldn't be able to come back from it, if the men decided to let her live after it was all said and done.

The good in her was gone.

A gunshot went off, and she felt her ears ring, her world shatter. Rick was alive, even if he could barely stand, and must have headbutt Joe in the face, seeing as he now sported a bloody nose.

"Oh, it's gonna be so much worse for you now!"

Another gunshot, barely missing Michonne as she found herself pinned down. Daryl, shoved against the car. Carl, attempting to reach for his knife, trying to reach it before the belt buckle by him could be undone－

"Don't touch them!"

The hand on her back stopped its rubbing, chubby fingers against the back of her bra strap. A click, then another. Kate's breathing quickened, her fave digging into the got concrete.

Then he froze, his grip faltering as a body collapsed to the ground, choking for air. Rick had bit Joe's throat out.

Kate didn't give herself any time to waste, she yanked her arms out of the stranger's hold, now fighting against him again as he tried to pin her down again. His hands were against her throat, so close to her jawline that it made her see red. It made her think of the last time a man dared to touch her like that, dared to make her feel inferior to him.

Gasping and wheezing for air, she could feel her vision begin to blur, the limited light fading in and out of view. She couldn't even listen to everything going on anymore over the ringing in her ears. But, he"d left her just enough of a gap in between them by crouching, rather than sitting on top of her.

Her boot was hard enough to get the job done. Kate kicked once; it wasn't full blown, not enough to cause damage, but it wasn't pleasant, and made him instinctively let go, fat hands a ghost on her airway. The second time, she hit harder; she couldn't really see still, and just just going off of human instinct. He fell onto his tailbone, crying in pain like a tortured little girl.

The kicking didn't stop, and it became harder every time. She thought about Daryl, who was willing to lay down his life for her time and time again, rather than ever hurt someone that didn't deserve it. She thought about Nadia, who hadn't even experienced the worst of this world until now. Mason, who just wanted things to be made right, despite being a victim of many wrongs. Carl, who was practically her twin in their state of mind, who never should've been worried about such an act. Rick, who would estroy every inch of his entire self being if it meant their pain could finally end.

Kate thought about herself, and what would've happened to her if things had gone his way. So she only stopped kicking when the man was unconscious, bile filling up his throat. He'd die that way, she thought. He'd choke to death on his own vomit, if not from any lasting effects from the destruction of his manhood. And he'd turn. She wasn't going to end him until he finally ended himself.