When you are doing something you really love,time flies by really fast.

I didn't believe it before but now I do.It has officially been one year and a half since I started playing piano again.More than two years since I met Hoseok.I still can't believe how fast time flew by.

A lot has changed in these two years.A lot.

I was suicidal,depressed,at the rock bottom of my life.But now I'm happy.I can happily play piano.Whenever I touch piano when I'm alone,I'm faced with the memories of my mother and the painful memories of past.Sometimes I tried to give up again because the flashbacks were becoming intolerable.But I held on and continued to play.That was my battle and I think I've overcome it.It was hard,but I did it.I fought my demons.

And I think I'm starting to love myself.I'm conscious about myself and do what is good for me.Before this I used to hate myself which is horrible.But now I don't.I have discovered about my ego successfully.I learned no matter what having a little bit of ego is important.I am not inferior to anybody.

Definite answer to the truth of this world is only one and unchanging me.

Now I trust myself and follow the path I want.Whatever my way is the only right way for me.

Before I thought my life would be full of regret and no hope,till I die.But now I don't think so.I see hope and I don't regret any choice I made.

One of the very first things Hoseok told me was the only thing that I needed was a little hope and some self love.

And he was right.

I smiled as my hope came and sat by me on the bench I was sitting on.We were currently in the university ground sitting on a bench at the very corner.He came and handed me the rainbow sorbet he brought.It's really hot,so I told him to bring one.I smiled seeing the sorbet.It has so many memories attached to it.I bit the ice cream and started thinking.

BTS and Hoseok came really far this year as well.And I really fell for them and the the message BTS conveys.

"Love yourself"

They give hope to everyone and they teach people what is actually important by their music.I respect them for that.And recently they've released their MAP OF SOUL:7 album.It's such a beautiful album.Every song is nice.And as comeback trailer Hoseok released a song named 'Ego'.He wrote it himself and the song gives hope to so many people.Hoseok wants to give so many people hope,make them love themselves,teach them the importance of it.He wants to save so many people like he saved me.I'm sure BTS's songs and Hoseok did manage to save a lot of people from the worst thing named 'depression'.My hope became so many people's hope by the song 'Ego'.I hope the meaning of the song reaches out to many many people.

The map of your soul is the most important map.That's the map of all.Everyone should follow the map and the way they want.It will lead them to the place they want.That's your ego.I hope many people get this message.

"What were you looking at?"Hoseok asked and leaned over on my phone.

I stopped thinking immediately and turned my phone off.Why did I keep it on?

"Nothing!"I replied.

Hoseok narrowed his eyes while eating his ice cream,"I already saw it,Eunji.It's about that piano competition being hosted on the 24th April,right?I saw you looking at the advertisement yesterday too.Why don't you apply?"

"Nononono,Hoseok.I don't want to apply.I was looking at it.My skills aren't that good."

"Bullshit,your skills are amazing.So try it.I know you want to try."

"No,I don't,Hoseok.Let's eat ice cream."

"Face it.You really want to give it a try.Don't even lie.I see right through you.You are just scared."

I gave up.He would find out the truth anyway.

"Yes,I'm scared,okay?"I sighed and looked away while biting my ice cream.

Hoseok looked at me.

"I..might panic when I'm on stage in front of so many people.I might make a fool of myself.I..am not ready..for this..my skills are not even.."

"But you really want to do it,don't you?Don't lie.You would like to try,right?"

I paused.

"Yes I would..but I'm scared.."

"I can tell..you really want to do it.So I think you should give it a try."

"But that competition is for high level players...you know more skilled then me..I think I should try in some other com.."

"No,I think you really should try.It will be a great opportunity for you to gain more confidence in yourself.Your training will be completed."

"No.."

"Eunji-ah..think of it as the last step of your training.After this I will quit as your personal therapist.Or as your teacher.After that we can stop this training.I can be your..."

Hoseok stopped abruptly.

I looked at him and raised his eyebrows,"You can be my what?"

Hoseok looked embarrassed he rubbed his hair with his other hand and thought for a while,"Anyways,You should give it a try.You know I won't stop till you agree.And you really want to do this.You know you do."

I looked away from Hoseok and sighed,"I do..but this competition is just too grand for me.Shouldn't I start by smaller.."

"Do this for me?"

I sighed.

Hoseok continued,"And there are so many weeks left for the competition.You can practice and become perfect."

I stayed silent.

"So it's decided that you are taking part in the competition.I don't care if you win or lose or do whatever.Just take part.For me."

I sighed and slowly said,"Fine."

Hoseok cheered and then for sometime we stayed quiet while eating our ice cream.

"Why are you so worried?Didn't I tell you the way ahead of you is shining.All you need to do is look ahead and keep going!"Hoseok said.

For some reason,these words of his always ends up giving me strength.I always remind myself of these in hard times.

"You are right.I think I should take part in it."

"That's the spirit."

"I should probably submit my name and information for the competition."

Hoseok didn't look at me and said the next thing casually while eating his ice cream.

"Don't worry about it.I had already done it yesterday."

I turned to him.He kept eating his ice cream as if nothing was wrong.

Say what?He already knew he would convince me somehow?All of it was his plan.

"You little bitc.."I was fuming with anger.

"Woah there,calm down!"Hoseok said.

"For how long have you been planning this?"

"For a week?Elena told me about this competition she wanted you to participate in.But you rejected her.And yesterday I saw you looking at the advertisement with so much hope.So.."

"So you decided to admit me to the competition without asking me?"

Hoseok chuckled nervously,"Pretty much."

Hoseok saw my angry expression and backed away a bit,"Calm down,Eunji-ah!"

"Calm down,Huh?How can I calm down when all you do is plan things?"

"But I did it for you.Imagine after this how much of a awesome person you would be!"

I suddenly smirked. Hoseok was shocked by my sudden expression change.

"You are right,Hoseok-ah.I should calm down."

"Right?"Hoseok said while coming back to the position he was sitting in and relaxed.He even took a bit of his ice cream,"I knew you would understand me."

That's when I did it.I smashed my half rated ice cream on his face and left it.The cone fell on his lap.His expression was priceless.He was closing his eyes shut and was holding his ice cream in his hand.

"It's cold,"Hoseok commented.

I took that opportunity to run and scream,"Serves you right,Jung Hoseok!"

He opened his eyes and ran after me after he grasped the situation.He was running behind me with ice cream all over his face,and clothes.The students were giving him curious stares.That's my revenge for the ice cream incident 2 years ago.

"You sure do hold grudges,don't you?"Hoseok shouted while running.

Everyone was looking at him.Why won't they?Imagine a member of BTS running crazily in your university campus with multicolored ice cream on his face.

I ran as fast as I could as Hoseok chased me down.I should feel angry at him.But I feel happy and free while running.

Everyday was like a carnival with Hoseok.There was no boring day.Something kept happening everyday.He was full of surprises and positivity and fun.No one can get bored or sad when they're with him.I act annoyed but I'm really happy that he came in my life.He gave me hope when I needed it the most.I will tell him how grateful I am after this competition.

After the training ends I'm gonna tell him everything.Every feeling that I hid from him.Including how thankful I am.

I'm gonna try and do a very good job at this competition.I would show him that his training was successful.I would make him proud.

I was tired so I stopped running at one point.I crouched down and rested my arms on both of my knees.I am now at the bridge where I was going to end my life.But Hoseok saves me.We met for the first time here.Our story started at the very bridge.Today the sun was shinning brightly like that day.

Hoseok came running here soon after.I looked at his face and bursted out into laughter.He tried to act serious but ended up laughing with me.We both laughed for awhile.

I'm so lucky that I have a Jung Hoseok in my life.

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