"So who is the cutest idol?"Hoseok asked.

"Jihoon!"I replied while trying to hold back my laughter.

"Okay..?So who's the sexiest idol?"Hoseok asked.

"Kai!"I replied.

"Who is the most handsome idol?"

"L!!"

"Oh..who's the best dancer then?"

"It's obviously....Taemin!"I replied.

Hoseok was getting irritated,I knew it just by hearing his voice.

"Who's the most humble idol?"Hoseok asked.

"Lay!!!"I replied.

"Who's the most best singer?"

"Changmin?"

"Who's the best rapper?"

"GDragon!"

"Who's the most positive and inspiring idol?"Hoseok asked.

He's gonna fume with anger if I don't say his name.

But guess what?That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

"Chanyeol!"

At this rate Hoseok was breathing heavily,trying to control his anger.And I was silently laughing so that he doesn't hear it over phone and thinks I'm serious.

"Okay,last question.You better answer this correctly or I might kill you,"Hoseok said.

"What?"

"Who is..."Hoseok paused,"Who is..your favorite idol..i mean your bias and whom do you love and admire the most?"

I moved the phone away from me so that he doesn't hear my laughter but after a few moments I put it against my ear.

"Oh,I know the answer.I think you know too.It's so easy!"

I could tell Hoseok's mood brightened up,"Oh..I know..it's me.."

I didn't even let him finish.

"It's Jooheon from Monsta X!"

Then there was silence.I expected his to burst out but he didn't say anything.It was completely silence.

"Hoseok-ah?You there?"I asked.

But he still didn't reply.I moved my phone away and looked at it to see if the call somehow got disconnected.But no,it wasn't.

"Hello?Hoseok-ah?"

He didn't reply.

I offended him a lot,didn't I?

"Hoseok?Did I make you sad?"

No reply.

"I'm sorry!"

No reply.

"Hey,don't be like that,we are talking on phone after almost a week."

No reply.

Okay,now this is actually making me sad.

"Okay,Hoseok-ah..I lied.My favorite idol and bias isn't Jooheon!"

I finally got a reply.Hoseok replied in a low and kind of scary voice.BTS members were right,Hoseok is really scary when he is angry.

"Then who is it?"Hoseok asked.

"You know who it is!Do I need to tell you?"

"You do."

I took a deep breath,"Fine,it's you,Hoseok.Happy?"

The next moment I heard cheered from the other side of the phone.Hoseok is probably running around the hotel room while cheering.I laughed.

After awhile he came back to the phone and we actually talked about how things were.His tour will end in one months,everything is going good.Every BTS member is fine and doing good.The fans are all really awesome,so none of the members got exhausted.I talked about university and piano lessons.There wasn't much going on in the university and I wasn't lonely because of the friend I made.We talked about K-pop for a while.After talking for sometime we had to hung up because we both were tired.

After hanging up I flopped down on the bed.Hoseok has been touring for almost three months.In these three months I didn't miss any piano lessons.I continued to take them and I am improving slowly.I also decided to quit my job at the bar,because i was doing good without it.With the salary from my two other jobs I was living well and also paying for piano lessons.

And another notable thing that happened in the last three months is that,I became a huge Kpop expert.Everyone can probably tell that from my conversation with Hoseok.I used to have no idea about Kpop.But now I know everything.

It was all Hoseok's plan.After he went away I was feeling lonely.At that time I wasn't doing well with piano as well.All the negative thoughts were coming back in my mind and I started to feel useless again.That's why Hoseok started to send me links to Bangtan bombs so I watch them and not have any time to feel lonely and sad.

And it worked.

At first I started watching Bangtan Bombs and they were really funny.Hoseok was the same person on and off camera.After watching those I ventured out to every Kpop group ever.

I laughed.

And recently I'm improving with my piano.I am enjoying playing it.I'm improving slowly because I forgot most of the things.But Elena said it's okay.She said soon I will be able to do a very good job at it.

And..about the kiss?Hoseok had kissed me before going to the airport.We both were shocked about it.He couldn't believe he did that.What would normal people do in this situation?Talk about the situation,right?

We did the same..

Just kidding.We did the exact opposite and avoided that topic completely like 'mature adults'.As if it never happened.

We should really talk about that sometimes.

We will revisit this after he comes back.

Maybe..

Okay..whatever.All in all my life isn't at the verge of falling apart right now.I think I'm at a good place.I don't have any suicidal thoughts and negativity in my life.I completely blocked my family out of my life.

But Hoseok said to live a great and happy life I need to love myself first.To love anyone else I need to love myself first.I need to love myself fully.I need to love my flaws and imperfections too.I need to trust myself.I need to believe that the way I chose for myself is the right way.

Before that neither can I live a good life or can love anyone else.

But I think for now I'm really close to achieving that.I'm walking towards it.I'm improving.I believe one day I will be able to love myself like Hoseok says.One day I will be able to live my own way and believe in myself.

One day I will be able to escape this valley of darkness in my mind and heart with hope and self love.

But for now,life's good!

___________________________________

A/N:

'Ego' is about to end!We have only 2 or three chapters left.

😭😭