Krring krring!!

I woke up by the sound of my alarm as usual.I wish I could just throw the alarm away.But then firstly,I will be late and secondly I don't have enough money to buy another alarm.I slowly tried to get up.My whole body hurts so much.

I somehow managed to get up from my bed to wash up and get ready for my first job.

I took my cycle and started cycling to the store.It's almost 5 am.There aren't a lot of people on the street as usual.The streets look brighter than usual.It's so quiet and peaceful.I like this time of the day the most.The morning breeze feels so nice too.Everything feels so fresh.

I reached my boss's store and took the newspapers from him.Here starts my first job.Delivering newspapers to every house in this area.I got to know how difficult this job actually is after starting to do it.Its so hard to cycle to everyone's house.And it's so hard to memorize what papers they need too.But even though it is the most hard,I like job out of all the jobs I have the most.Mostly because of the peaceful environment during this time of the day.

After 2 hours of delivering newspapers I was finally finished.It is 7 am now.I get to go home and rest and prepare for a little while.

Normally at this time I had to leave for my shift at the laundry.But I had to quit from that job because from today onwards my university will start.Today is going to be my first day at the university.I had to work so hard to get a scholarship there.I'm not that bright of a student.I had to study my ass of for this scholarship or else I would have to kiss my wish to study further goodbye.Because no one is gonna pay for my tuition and I can't afford it.

I was genuinely happy when I got the news that I was accepted into the university that I wanted.I promised myself that after I get in the university I will study really hard and try to get a really good job afterwards.Getting into the university gave me so much hope to for the future.

After I came back to my small rented studio apartment,I sat on my bed and looked at the books for university.Even though they are second hand I felt relieved that I could get them.For some reason looking at the books gave me so much more hope for the future.It was like something was telling me that everything will get better.

I gave a small smile while looking at the books.I don't remember the last time I smiled.Actually.But today I'm feeling so good.

I told myself,"Eunji-ah,let's study hard.Everything is only gonna get better from now on!!"

My life is already at the rock bottom.It can't possibly get worse than this.It has to get better from this point.All I need to do is try.

I got up and took the knife I kept under my bed and locked it up in my cupboard.

I won't use anymore of that.Enough!

I smiled again.I don't know why I felt so positive today.When was the last time I felt like this?I really can't remember.

After taking a shower and eating breakfast I started to get ready for the university.

At 8:30 I went to the subway waiting for the bus to arrive.The classes will start at 9:30.I will reach really early but I guess I could take sometime to look around the university.

After getting on the bus I looked outside of the window.I have been noticing it since dawn.But today is a beautiful day.The weather is so nice too.The sun is shinning so brightly!

Today is a beautiful day and I'm feeling positive about life.

Nothing can go wrong today,right?

As I was thinking that I suddenly received a series of text messages.I know those are from my step mother but I still opened them.

From:🙄
I asked you to send me more money.When are you planning on doing that?
Sent:8.41 am.

From:🙄
Do you not feel any sense of responsibility towards your family?
Sent:8.41 am.

From:🙄
Send me more money right when you get this message.I don't care how you get that money.
Sent:8.42 am.

From:🙄
I even told you a way to earn money.When are you going to try that?
Sent:8.43 am.

From:🙄
You piece of shit..you dare to ignore my messages?Send money.Or you will regret it.
Sent:8.45 am.

I frowned.I don't know what's the fuss about.I already sent money for this month.What does she want now?I quickly replied to her message and turned my phone off.I'm not letting her ruin my mood today.

From:Me
I've already sent you money for this month.And I've told you I'm not earning money by doing that.Please try to have a little bit of respect sometimes.
Sent:8.47 am

I then put my phone in my pocket and stared outside again.

I reached the university at about 8.50 am.I was amazed by seeing the university once again.It was huge and there were already so many people there.Everyone was chatting happily and everyone seemed happy for the start of a new experience.

I walked around the huge field of the university.Even the field is so huge.There even is a lake near the university.I went to see it.The lake looks so beautiful.There is a high bridge over it.Even though the lake is beautiful,it is really deep.

After roaming around for some more time I went to the classroom.Only five minutes are left till our first class starts.I went and sat at the very behind of the class and waited for the class to begin.

There are so many students in this class.They are chatting.Should I try to make some friends while I'm here?I don't remember the last time I made friends.I was so busy with my life and problems to even make friends.I even build a huge wall around me and never let anyone in.

I shook my head.This is not a good time for any of it and now I'm not ready for another heartbreak.So let's just focus on studying and myself for awhile.

Before the class started I heard the girls in front of me gossiping about how some celebrities are studying in our batch.They really hope to see them and they are not sure if they even have classes with them.

I sighed.I don't even recognize any celebrities.Buying a television shall be the first thing I do as soon as I get a job.

Soon the professor entered and our first class began.The first class went good.The professor explained the topics really well.I took notes of all the important things.

After the first class I immediately had to go to my next class.The next class was good to but it was noisy are crowded than the previous one.I heard that one of the celebrities are in this class.I didn't know who it was and I actually cared more about the class.

After this class we had a 20 minutes break before the next class starts.I packed my bag and decided that I should spend these 20 minutes sitting under a roof in the huge field of the university.

I exited class with my classmates and was about to go towards the ground but whom I saw in the hallway made my eyes widened and my fave definitely turned pale.

My step mother was standing in the hall way looking furious and looking around trying to find me in this sea of students.I told her I was accepted in a university but I didn't tell which one because I knew she'd do something like this.How did she even know that this was the university?

I took a deep breath.She hasn't seen me yet so the best thing to do right now is hide from her somehow and I will see about the rest later.I should just go into the classroom and hide there.

I quickly turned around and was about to get into the classroom but nothing right happens to me ever.

My stepmother saw me and ran towards me while pushing the other students away and screaming my name.Every student in the hallway turned towards her.She came and turned me around by my collar and started shouting at me before I could run away.

"You ungrateful piece of shit..how dare you not reply to me?How many times have I asked you for money?"She was screaming really loudly,"Your family needs your help,how could you leave that job and study in this university?Do you only care about yourself?You selfish little.."

I was so puzzled by what was happening.Everyone was looking at us,"Please stop,let's talk after this.Please I'm begging you,"I said while trying to get her hand off of my collar.

"What do you mean 'after this'?Who asked you to study here?..In fact I don't care..give me the money and I will leave.."

"I don't have any money!I already gave it to you."

She started laughing maniacally,"You don't have money?Then how the hell are you paying tuition for this university?"

"I told you I got a scholarship!"

She laughed again,"Why would they give scholarship to such a dumb ass bitch like you?You probably paid them money or..slept with someone for this,didn't you?You who.."

"Stop,please!!"I shouted this time.Why is this happening to me?

The next things she said are more hurtful,ugly and disgusting.I couldn't bear it.She told me if I slept with someone already why don't I start the prostitution job she told me about and pay them money.She cursed at me and said that I'm worthless for not doing this for my family and studying here.

I couldn't control anymore,tears started to roll down from my eyes.I couldn't help it.I couldn't even look up.I knew all of my classmates are looking at me.

Right that time some professors came with some guards and took my step mother away no matter how much she protested.I know after they come back they're gonna search for me,talk to me about it.I don't wanna do that.I want to disappear,right now.I held my bag closer to me and ran away from there without thinking where I was going.I couldn't face anyone now,not my classmates,not my professors and not anyone in this university.

I found a storeroom at the furthest corner of the university and locked myself in it.I hope no one finds me here.I flopped down on the floor and started crying.I couldn't even stop it.

Can I not have a single good day?I was feeling so positive and good this morning,did this definitely need to happen to me?Can nothing good happen to me?I thought things couldn't get any worse for me but they just did.Now I won't even be able to stand in front of my classmates.Some will probably start bullying me for this as well.

Just like high school.

I just want to disappear.

"Mom!"I cried out desperately.

Everything started going downhill in my life after she passed away.Nothing good happened after that.

But I thought from today things will get better.But no,things will never get better for me.I'm sure of it.Things will start getting worse and worse.

All the bad memories of my life started to flash in front of my eyes.To think that those events will keep repeating made me feel sick.I couldn't even think straight at that moment.Every thought and logic got so messed up.

I don't wanna live anymore.I just want to end it all.End all the sufferings.End all the depression,sadness,anxiety.

I got out from the room at 1 pm after making the biggest decision of my life.I ran out of tears,I can't even cry anymore.I'm going to end this suffering today.I'm going to end everything today.That's for the best.

Everyone is in class.There wasn't anyone out here anymore.

Thank God.I don't want any hindrances.

I walked towards the lake near our university.Hopefully there wasn't anyone here too.I walked to the big and high bridge above the lake.I stood holding the railing and looking at the beautiful sun and the lake.It's one pm but the sun's so bright,it's almost blinding.I love the sun and sunshine so much.The sky is so blue.This day truly is beautiful.

I took of my bag and kept it on the ground and slowly got up on the railing.I smiled.

I should've done it way earlier.

Soft breeze is blowing.I once again looked at the sun.It's almost blinding my vision now.

Thank God,at least the weather is so good at the last day of my life.

It's like a warm goodbye from this world to me.

Thank you,dear world.

I held my smile and closed my eyes.I could still feel the sun shine on my closed eyes and face.I opened both of my arms widely.

This is it then,I guess.

I started counting out loud,"3...2...1.."

Goodbye.

I moved one of my foots ahead and was about to jump.But I felt someone pull me backwards with much force.Because of it I fell and landed on the bridge.

"Ouch!"I said as my back landed on the bridge and it was really painful.That's when I came back to my senses.

What was I even doing?Had I gone crazy?What would my mom think if she saw this?How could I do this when I had promised my mom to never give up?

I was ashamed.

I slowly turned to my savior.He was standing beside me while crouching down.He was a male.I could tell that by his physique.But because of the angle the bright sunshine was falling directly onto his face and my eyes and I couldn't see his face properly.

I tried to squint my eyes and put my palm in the front to block the sun to see him but it didn't work.His face still looked black.Who is he?And the worst part is that I can't even see his expression.The sun was really bright.

He came and stood right in front of me while blocking the sun behind him.Now I could see his face clearly.And he was really handsome.I think I saw him somewhere.Was he one of my classmates?

"Who are you?"I asked.

He suddenly smiled.It took me off guard.First of all why is he smiling like that?Is he looking down on me?Is he trying to make fun of me?Ans secondly his smile had to be the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.He was blocking the sun but when he smiled I felt like sunshine was falling onto me again.How is that possible?

He offered me his hand to get up and smiled.

I was about to hold his hand and get up but before I could do that he said something so weird that took me completely off guard.

He said confidently while smiling,"I'm your hope,I'm your angel,J-hope."

I was so weirded out by it that I didn't even hold his hand and stared at him while frowning while he was signing me to hold his hand and get up.

I'm your hope,I'm your angel?

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

___________________________________

A/N:

I feel so bad for Eunji.Poor girl had to go through a lot.

But at least she met her hope and her angel!!!