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Part 19

"Oh, my God! I'm sorry, your visit slipped my mind. Please come in," said Madhuri, stepping aside to let Arjun Malhotra walk into the house.

Madhuri hurried to tidy up the modest sofa. Her messy bun, and the beads of sweat on her forehead revealing her preoccupied state. She fidgeted with the knot of her dupatta, adjusting it over her right hip, her fingers quivering slightly as she unraveled it to cover her midriff.

"It's okay. I'm not here to judge the state of the house," said Arjun, shaking his head at Madhuri's frenzy behavior. Madhuri let out an awkward chuckle and settled in a plastic chair opposite to the sofa Arjun had settled in.

"You didn't have to come, sir. If you had called, I would have come to your office," Madhuri said, adjusting her dupatta over her shoulder and shifting in her seat. Arjun had noticed how she left the door wide open, likely to prevent any possibility of an accusation against her.

Arjun crossed his left leg over his right knee and unbuttoned the button holding the two ends of his blazer together. "No, this falls between my home and the court. The autorickshaw fares are hefty in Delhi, and I wouldn't want you to spend money when you can save them."

Madhuri's downcast eyes met his sharp ones, and the ripples of admiration caused a tiny smile to dawn upon her visage. "That's... That's thoughtful and kind of you, sir!"

Thoughtfulness was a rare trait in those around Madhuri, and it warmed her heart to note the abundance of that trait in the Malhotra family, starting right from the young Jiya to the prolific doctor. The realization had fanned the dying out conflagration of hope in her heart and had reminded her that the world did not comprise just of men and women like her family.

"Of course. Anyway, the reason I wanted to meet was because I think you need to consult a psychiatrist..."

"No..."

"To address the trauma you've endured for years, Madhuri."

Sunlight danced across her features, causing the thin layer of tears in her trembling eyes to glisten. "Do you think I'm crazy? Do you believe I need to be locked up in a mental institution?" she asked, her lower lip quivering as she held back sobs.

Arjun shook his head and arched his eyebrows. "Not at all. But tell me something, Madhuri. Do you blame yourself for everything? Is there a voice in your head that doesn't stop telling you about how you could have done this better?" he asked.

He leaned forward, uncrossing his legs, and looked into her eyes, which were now brimming with fresh tears. "Do you find yourself wondering how others perceive you, worrying that your actions might be disappointing someone?"

Madhuri bit her lower lip, her breaths coming in shallow gasps. She wanted to flee from his presence, to escape the words he was speaking. She despised how she couldn't answer any of his questions with a firm 'no,' and how he seemed to have read her innermost thoughts like an open book.

Feeling exposed and vulnerable, she had no choice but to confront the truth head-on. The cold gusts of reality had swept over her, exposing the unhealed wounds to the storms of self-doubt and the searing rays of remorse. Arjun studied her trembling form for a moment before gently placing his hand over her clenched, intertwined fingers.

"It doesn't have to be that way, Madhuri. You can vanquish the demons inside your mind and clinch the tranquility you seek. You can be happy, but only if you allow yourself to seek help to set out on a pursuit of happiness," he said.

His sincere words, uttered in a low tone uncharacteristic of him, had applied the balm of kindness over the raw lacerations on her consciousness. "But... but, do I deserve that happiness? What if it is my fate to remain this way?"

Arjun withdrew his hand from her trembling fingers and resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the forlorn woman. "If it is already written, then seeking help will not alter it. If believing in Destiny means not acting at all, Gita wouldn't ask everyone to perform their duties. Fate can determine your destination at best, but the journey is still in your hands."

The room fell silent, the only sounds being the ticking of the clock on the wall and the irregular rhythm of the conflicted woman's breathing. "But... the cost! I can't afford therapy!" she exclaimed, her gaze dropping to the floor.

The advocate had made an alluring case for giving precedence to her mental health by arousing the dormant desires of her heart. She had quit expecting any semblance of solace from her life after months of recoiling into a shell of her former persona.

She had thought it would make her life easier, but the conclusion floated in her mind during the tempestuous storms and added to the emotional upheaval that tormented her.

"You don't have to worry about that. The psychiatrist works for an NGO, and they will take care of the payment. This does not mean you are mad. It means you forgot how to place yourself first and this is just about learning how to love and accept yourself."

Tears welled up in her eyes, and she nodded wordlessly. The notion of freeing herself from the taunts and negative voices that plagued her mind seemed like a distant dream, but with her life upended, she realized there was nothing more to lose.

"Oh, I wondered if you would have the time to tutor Jiya, my niece. She struggles in Hindi, and neither me nor Di is proficient in Hindi. Maybe when you have an off from your work at the call center and your night college?" he asked, scratching his chin.

"You want me to tutor her?" she asked with widened eyes. Arjun arched his eyebrow and nodded in affirmation. Madhuri almost chuckled at the irony of the situation as life came around in a full circle.

She reminisced about her own tutor, a divorcee after an abusive marriage, and how her mother had stopped her from visiting the kind older woman. And there she was - another woman on the brink of a divorce, but the world did not shut the doors on her face like she had expected.

"Yes." She nodded, with a smile twitching at the corners of her lips. "Yes, I would love that."

Maybe all was not lost.

The dynamics between Arjun and Madhuri are shifting. I think we do not address mental health enough, and we still associate so much stigma with a very important aspect of our overall well-being. Most people just accept it as their fate, but I wanted to tell it does not have to be that way.

Seek help when you feel distressed, and anyone who tells you it is nonsense doesn't have any clarity on the topic clearly. I ran from seeking help for my PTSD for bullying myself, and I know a lot of traumas could have been avoided if I sought help like I would if it was a physical wound.

Let's see where Madhuri's journey of self-discovery and healing takes her.


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