I  gasp in the air. The wind tugs at my hair. My thoughts pull me a thousand ways. I feel like my limbs are tearing apart by my thoughts. I have so so many thoughts. I have so so much fear of him. I can just feel him waiting to control me. 

I can't let him use me. I can't let him take over my heart and mind. I'm sick of it. He makes me sick. I can feel his hand reaching out. I hate it. I hate him. I grip the side of the deck. What do I do? What can I do? Do I just let him take me?

I start pacing. The air is cold. I don't really care about the air. I grip my chest. He must not take me again. I don't want him to take me? I don't want to be a monster. He wants me. I have a feeling he will possess me again. 

A human mage, destined to play right into my hands.

I can still hear him when he took over my body. He's going to destroy me. He's going to use me again. I can't let him. I pull my hair back. He's going to use me again. I know it. I see it. I can feel it. I have to do something.