Mad at the world, mad at myself

Tears in my eyes that I fight every other second

Want to laugh but I end up crying

Feeling so stuck in place that I can't move even though I'm trying

Walking in circles, never getting anywhere

Angst builds up inside and wretches me beyond repair

Stress on my body, stress on my mind

Try to move forward but I'm always left behind

Walking on eggshells, walking on a tightrope

Racing against time, running short of hope

I want to sit down, I am tired

But more effort from me is still required

No sunrises, no sunsets

Hating every moment that I never wanted to regret

I know I am chasing a life I've always wanted

But in my dreamland, this wasn't so distorted

Hopeless nights spent mugging all the text

Hoping I remember it when I have to reproduce it next

But what if I fail again this time?

Even the thought itself feels like a crime

What can I do when I'm all alone at two

Trying to find something to hold onto?

All the other adults make it seem so easy

But I swear to god I have never felt this queasy

This constant state of unhappiness is making me sick

Can't this all be over for once; really quick?

Go to sleep hoping for a better morning

Dreaming about a future, always full of longing

No clues as to when all this will change

Will I get what I want or will this all go to waste?

This fear of examination has me perplexed

Never in my life have I ever been so stressed

The stakes are so high, I just want them to come down

But I also really want to get out of this town

Ticket to my freedom makes me go through hell

What irony this life is, I'm sure you can tell

I hope all this is worth it in the very end

One day I hope to be enjoying life to its full extent

A white coat and a stethoscope are all I want

Bold and elegant will be my life's font

Having everything that I could've imagined for myself

Love healing every scar that I was ever dealt

Peace residing in my mind for once in my life

Only through pain perhaps I will find my respite.

-Vaish
(14/1/23)

Posting on: 16th Jan'23

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A/N: Relatable or not?