Spent two years trying but then lost

Gave it my best; then again, maybe not

Like every other battle, I came out of this one with scars

Maybe I should be grateful that I am not in the stars

Two dreadful years gone; an unknown future awaits

Uncertainity coats me every moment, every day

I'm working twice as hard now but will it be enough?

I imagined it would be a joyride but this is so damn tough

I thought this is what I wanted but then why don't I want to pick up that book?

Where is the girl who was brave and determined, the one who had what it took?

Why do I curse my choices yet envision the future they lead to with pride?

Why can't I enjoy the moment, see the scenery and enjoy the ride?

I knew it was perilous and still I didn't turn back then

I need to find that girl in me again

I need her to give me strength and drive me forward

I need her focus, with one every battle she conquered 

I need her mind to take in every line i study

Imprint them in my mind so that nothing can take them away from me

I need her companionship that didn't need any other

She was bright like sunshine in the summer

And I know that she is in there, buried in me

I just need to look deep and find her; set her free

With her I know I will be unstoppable like before

Nothing and no one would be able to measure up to my core

She will awaken and with her I will be reborn

Like a phoenix from ashes, I will rise; I will throw out the thorns

I will conquer again and survive every collision

I will strive towards my goal with single minded tunnel vision

Ever since I've fallen, I've been counting every moment

Watch me as I get closer to what I have always wanted

I can see it more clearly now, the prize my eyes have always adored

Suddenly every scar is meaningful and the burning pain in me can easily be ignored

All the blood and sweat is now worth this and more

A thousand have replaced the one one door that closed

I've found the strength to push myself to go that extra mile

All my troubles are balmed by my envisioned future, already feeling mild

Looking ahead, I know this time for sure it will be mine

I smile;

After all, losing was never a flaw in my design.

- Vaish
(20/9/22)

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A/N: Hii you guys. How're you doing? Still here after that last essay of an AN I wrote for you, I see. This is why I love you, you know haha.

The background story for this one is that i failed to excel in an exam that I needed to go well in in order to get into the field of my choice and study what I want to study. I spent two and a half years trying to crack it and yet I failed. So I have to wait another year to retake it. I am preparing again :') 

Those of you out there in similar situations? You are not alone. Don't give up. You can do it. I love you <3

The poem just came to me today as I was listening to some music during my break this afternoon. I loved it enough to post it immediately. I hope you love it as much I as I do! Take care <3

Until next time!