"I'm... a sailor guardian?" Helpy repeated, nibbling on an oatmeal cookie.

"Sailor scout." Lefty corrected. "You're a little young yet to be a guardian."

Helpy clenched his small fist, anger boiling up in his chest. Of course she would insist that he was only a child when he had just saved their lives!

"Lay off, Lefties, we just got attacked." Molten said, burying their muzzle into the plate of cookies Lefty had whipped up.

"It's a lot to take in." Sammy nodded. "This thing's stressful; I've been unable to even touch melted cheese for a good three days, and Scraps..."

He gestured to the old rabbit leaning against him, headphones over his ears and listening to ASMR. "Poor bud can't go a day without slime videos."

"Where did you even get a phone?" Lefty narrowed her eyes at him.

"Blackmailed my coworker into buying me an iPhone 13." Sammy said, picking up his mug of hot chocolate and drinking it all down.

"What's melted cheese and slime videos got to do with it?" Helpy demanded.

Molten sighed. "The point is that this whole thing has been stressful for all of us. We're supposed to be the soldiers that eternally serve the princess, and you-"

"Molten." Lefty snapped. "Don't overwhelm him."

"But he has to know!" they argued. "Someone has to tell him-"

"Hell to the no." Sammy interjected angrily. "He's a kid."

"What happened to 'but he's Chibi Moon'?" Molten yelled.

Scrap whined, covering her ears tightly.

"I don't want to have this conversation any more than you do." Lefty's black eye flicked to the old bunny. "Than any of us do."

"Then don't." Molten snapped.

Helpy clenched his jaw, setting down his cookie and hopping down off the table. The grown-ups could argue as long as they wanted, but Helpy had better things to do.

Mainly, run his pizzeria.

Secondly, register Counter.

Ugh, the paperwork he was going to deal with.

Helpy waltzed his little self into the main party room, jumping over children's feet and avoiding the curious hands threatening to surround him.

"Step out of the way!" He yelled, waving his hands like he was Moses parting the river. "I am an important figure in this compan-"

A pair of human hands caught him around the middle, lifting him up.

"Aww, look, Double D!" The human man held him up to the ceiling. "Isn't he cute?"

"Unhand me, you cruel being!" Helpy shrieked. "I am not cute! I am a professional lawyer-"

"He's just so adorable." The other man cooed, pinching Helpy's cheek. "How much for him?"

"I am not for sale! Now, you will unhand me before I lay down a lawsuit upon you!" Panic flooded his brain, genuinely fearing being taken away from his home company.

"This thing's high tech." The other man commented, adjusting his black bowler hat to see the tiny bear better. His left, piercing yellow eye studied him, as if gearing up to devour him whole. "I bet it'll cost a fortune."

"Then I'll do it!" The man holding him declared. "I'll buy him and modify his weak little limbs into something far greater!"

Helpy wailed.

Being the smallest employee in the business, Helpy was often the target of doting children seeking a new toy to play with. As a result, Helpy developed a tendency to yell for Lefty.

But those heavy footsteps definitely weren't Lefty's. Oh, no.

That was Counter.

"Excuse me, gentlemen." He said, easily towering over both men. "I believe that unit is not for sale."

"Unit!?" Helpy angrily demanded.

"Our apologies." The snake man bowed his head. "We mean no harm."

"Well..." The man holding Helpy bit his lip.

"It seems that little Helpy is in distress." Counter held out his massive hand to receive him. "I will take care of him. His usual caretaker is busy."

Helpy's blood boiled. He wasn't a baby, he didn't need a caretaker.

He was an adult!

Reluctantly the man gently placed Helpy in Counter's large hand.

"Thank you, I'll return him to his caretaker as soon as possible."

"See you soon," the man's snake eye glinted in the light, "princess."

Princess? Helpy remembered that stupid song, how Sammy had referred to this "Sailor Moon" person as "the princess".

What were these guys's deals?

"'Princess'?" Counter repeated. "I think you two need to leave."

"Buh bye, little freak of nature!" The guy that had snatched him giggled, flicking Helpy's tiny nose.

He squeaked, falling back into Counter's palm.

"Thank you for visiting." He stated coldly, heading back to the secondary party room, the one where Sammy's hoard of instruments was.

Where did he even get those?

Counter ducked his head to avoid a flying clarinet, setting Helpy down on a polka-dotted table.

Sammy, Lefty, and Scraptrap were in the middle of a screaming match. Well, Sammy and Scrap were.

Sammy brandished a bass guitar, while Scrap had his bone shiv on the ready. Lefty eyed both weapons calmly, keeping her voice even and low.

Molten curled up under the table cloth, shivering frightfully.

"What's going on in here?" Counter raised his voice.

"Tell Lefty we shouldn't get kids involved!" Sammy raged.

"Tell these two that none of us should have been involved!" Lefty growled.

Molten whimpered, burrowing further under the tablecloth and knocking party decorations off.

The customers would be coming in one hour!!!

"I don't know what's happening, or what you're arguing about, but it ends here!"

"It ends when Lefty agrees with us." Scrap said.

"I barely know who any of you are," Counter admitted, "but I do know that this isn't worth fighting over."

"How do you know!?" Sammy shouted, his grip on his bass tightening.

"I don't. So shut up and do... whatever you guys do." Counter waved his broken hand. "Quit it."

He pushed past Lefty, going into Parts and Service.

Sammy flinched, his eyes (the ones on the mask, which could strangely move around) widened.

"What happened out there?" Lefty gasped.