My knees feel like jelly as I slowly knock on the door. Last night I got sleep knowing Seth is okay.

That doesn't change the fact that I screwed up big time. Or the fact that Roman and him got into a fight.

I bite the inside of my cheek when I hear footsteps. Seconds later the door opens. Seth is shirtless and in boxers.

He rubs his eyes and I feel myself melt into a puddle. "So-sorry to wake you up. I ... I can come back later."

I can feel my cheeks turn bright red when he looks at me. "No it's fine. I was awake already." He opens the door and I walk in slowly.

"What brings you here?" He asks as he sits back down on his bed. I stand in front of the bed not being able to concentrate.

"Aren't you going to get changed?" I ask. Seth simply shakes his head no. "Okay. Well I came to apologize. Again."

"We've been over this, Nicole. Apologizing doesn't solve anything. You also don't need to apologize all day every day."

"I know but... I feel really bad for what I did. I also came to ask you to not fire Dean. The reason he did all of that was to protect me. If he wouldn't have gone with me I would've gone by myself and he was only-"

"I won't fire him." Seth replies interrupting my sentence. "Okay. Thank you." I say. We look at each other for s few seconds.

His cheek is turning a purplish color from the bruise and his lip has a scratch. I'm about to say that I'm leaving when he finally speaks up.

"Why can't you trust any man?" I heard him perfectly but I still say, "What?" He keeps direct eye contact as he speaks again. "Last night you said you couldn't trust any man. Can I know why?"

My whole life I've been reluctant to talk about what happened. It took me a long time for me to finally accept what was really going on.

Even when my family found out I didn't want to talk about it. Everyone asked me what had happened and how long had it happened for. I didn't say much.

But with Seth is different. I want to tell him everything about my past. I want to explain to him why I'm the way I am. I want to let see all the ugly depressing parts of me that no one ever sees.

"The man I loved use to abuse me." I say. Seth suddenly changes his face expressions and straightens up. "What?" He asks in shock.

"He abused me mentally and physically." Seth starts breathing out quick and looks at the floor. "What do you mean physically?"

"He use to hit me." I whisper pressing my lips in a line. Once again I feel the blood rush to my cheeks. I'm deeply ashamed to talk about it.

Seth gets up from the bed signals me to sit down on the bed. I do and he walks to open the closet and begins putting on a shirt and a pair of jeans.

I'm staring at my feet feeling my face get hotter and hotter. Seth kneels in front of me and grabs my hands.

"You don't have to talk about it. Okay? I don't want you to feel bad." He whispers kissing my hands softly.

"He told me he loved me. I believed him. I believed everything he said and it was a lie. Because if he did love me he wouldn't have hurt me. I knew he didn't but I still adored him with every atom in my body."

I don't know why I keep talking if Seth told me I didn't have to talk about it. Maybe I need to tell someone about it.

My family never mentions it and never reminds me of it. I never really told anyone about it.

"We started dating when I was sixteen. He was eighteen and had already graduated. When we first started dating he was sweet and kind. Then after a few months it all changed. He was distant, mean, and jealous of everything. The first time he slapped me was when we came back from a date. He was furious with me for something that didn't even happened. I was wearing a skirt that day because I wanted to look nice since it was a dinner to celebrate our seven months together. He claimed some men were looking at me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the restaurant. We didn't even eat. The whole ride to his house he was silent and cold. When we got to his house he started screaming at me. Then he did it. I was so scared and didn't understand why he had done it. He said he did because I was a whore."

My heart slowly sinks to my stomach. Seth is still holding my hands. He's looking at me with so much sadness and it only makes me heart ache more.

"Every time he hurt me I forgave him because I was blinded. I really did love him. All I wanted was to make him happy. And all he did was humiliate me and insult me. You know what's the saddest thing of all? That every time he slapped me, every time he left bruises on me, and every time he screamed at me it felt like love. All his insults and violence felt like kisses to me. As sad and twisted as that sounds, I felt nothing but love."

Seth doesn't say anything he gets up and sits beside me wrapping his arm around me. His breathing has quickened and he kisses the top of my head.

Telling him everything feels a little better. It somehow makes some of the pain disappear. "Tell me who he is."

I pull away and see that the sadness in his eyes has been replaced by anger. "Tell me." He says again.

"Why?" I ask. "Because I want to make him pay for everything he did." I shake my head no, "It's not worth it. That happened a long time ago and he's not worth spending time on."

"It'll be worth it when I see that asshole suffer for everything he's done to you." He looks angry and I've never seen him this angry. Last night he was mad but he controlled it.

"You don't have to. He's part of the past and I don't want to bring him into my life again. All I need you to do is love me."

He sighs angrily running his fingers through his messy bun. After a few seconds he holds my face in his hands and brings me closer to him. "I promise I won't ever let anyone hurt you."

I nod my head slowly and he presses his soft cold lips against mine.