"Ma'am. What happened?" Dean asks as he kneels in front of me. I'm staring at the floor with a blank mind.

Every part of me feels numb. All I want to do is cry. I want to cry so, so, bad but no tears are coming out of my eyes.

So all I can do is stay silent. "Ma'am. I need to know what happened. Did someone hurt you?" Dean asks.

He gets up and walks away. I keep staring at the floor as I think of Seth. The anxiousness and distress I feel in my chest make it hard to even think.

Minutes later I hear Deans boots. "Here you go ma'am. I brought you a tea." He hands me a cup of tea and I look up to see him.

He looks concerned and troubled. I grab the cup of hot tea in my hands. There's vapor coming out of the cup because it's so hot.

"Madam, I would suggest you taking a shower and getting some sleep. If you don't want to tell me what happened I understand."

My chin starts quivering and my breathing gets faster. "Ma'am?" Dean says quietly. "Madam don't - don't cry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I apologize."

I shake my head no because it's not his fault. I'm the one that should be apologizing to him. For making him take me and for putting his life and job at risk.

He runs quickly to get me some tissues. Just as he's about to hand me one the door opens. As soon as it opens I turn to see if it's him.

When I see Seth walk in it feels like that awful weight I felt in my chest has been lifted. I put the cup of tea down and jump off the stool.

I run to him hugging him and closing my eyes. I never thought I'd get to hug him again. He stiffens at my touch and doesn't hug me back.

I pull away and look at him. He's got a busted lip and a bruise on his cheek. He has no expression on his face.

"I'm sorry Seth." I say quietly. He looks at me and then he looks behind me. "You can't follow directions apparently." Seth says walking to Dean.

Dean stays quiet and keeps eye contact with him. "I tell you to protect her and not let her out of the house and she ends up in Ortons mansion. And she nearly get killed!" He screams grabbing Dean harshly by his shirt.

"My apologizes sir. I know I didn't follow directions." Dean says. "No it's my fault, Seth. It's all my fault don't take it out on Dean. I forced him to." I say steeping in.

Seth let's go of Dean. "We'll talk later Ambrose. Now leave." Dean walks away and Seth walks to his alcohol shelf.

He pours himself vodka and I stay quietly behind him. I watch as he starts drinking and avoids looking at me.

"Are you mad at me?" I whisper. He doesn't respond right away instead and keeps drinking.  "Mad? No why would I be mad, Nicole? You only didn't listen to me, put your life in risk, and almost got killed by Roman. Of course I'm not mad at you." He says sarcastically as he turns to look at me.

"I know it was stupid." I say. "It was stupid, Nicole." He replies angrily. I look down at my feet as I start fidgeting with my hands.

"Why did you do it?" He asks. "I... I..." my voice trails off because I don't want to say why. "I want the truth."

"I wanted to see if you were with Eva." I whisper. Seth makes a noise and he puts his glass on the table.

"You wanted to see if I was with Eva?" He repeats. I nod my head feeling the blood go to my face.

"Are you kidding me?" He says furrowing his eyebrows. "I wasn't with Eva. I was there for business. Even if I was with Eva nothing would've happened. You don't even trust me and look what happened for not trusting me."

"I'm sorry." I say. "Sorry isn't going to solve anything. You could've gotten yourself killed goodness, Nicole!"

"I'm sorry okay? I know I have trust issues. I know I was stupid to do that. And I'm sorry. I can't help not trusting you because I feel like I can't trust any man. I'm sorry for being insecure and jealous over Eva. I'm sorry that you fell in love with a prostitute like me."

Seth's expression suddenly softens and he sighs. "No, Nicole... don't... don't say that." He says.

"It's true. All I do is cause you problems, Seth. You go through so much for me and I'm sorry for that."

Seth closes his eyes briefly and runs his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry for getting mad. You just have to understand that you're my life. It scared me to death to see how close I was of loosing you. I don't want to lose you, Nicole. I want to protect you and I just want to love you. I don't care about your past okay? I just care about you. That's all."

He walks to me and wraps his arms around me. I hug him back feeling relived. There's so many things I would like to tell him.

There's so many emotions and thoughts pilled up in my head but not a word comes out of my mouth.

I just hug him tighter hearing his heartbeat against my ear. Feeling his arms around me and his warm breath against my head makes my heart swell up.

There's something good about him. It's something that makes me want to change every bad thing about myself. It's something that makes me want to love myself.

My life feels like it has been a disaster. Everything felt blue and dark. I was alive but I wasn't living.

I wasn't living until I met him.