Body hair. Who the hell thinks about body hair?

I mean, I suppose women do because they shave it, but generally not men.

I mean, sure I (have memories of having) thought about it as I got older and had less of it, but it wasn't exactly a daily concern.

It took Tsu'na coming to me and asking about hairstylists to make me stop and think, hey, I don't have hair on my arms. And then to stop and think, hey, did I have hair on my arms in Eorzea? If I did I didn't notice, because who the hell thinks about body hair?

And why body hair? Even Tsu'na asked me last night in bed, why did we gain sweat and sleepiness and shitting and peeing and not body hair? I had to admit I had no idea. I hate admitting I have no idea. This isn't an ego thing. Okay, it probably isn't just an ego thing. But it's another point of causality I don't understand, and those make me itchy.

Anyway. That's an issue for another day. Especially since I apparently don't need to shave.

New business opportunity. Not a leve; it's not in my journal. Though Sam did say he had another pig-culling job for us.

No, this is catering. Not quite sure about who talked to who, but someone in the Tulsa burbs had heard about the meat pies at the diner and wants them for a community picnic, and is willing to pay to have them delivered.

There are various problems with this idea.

One is that, even though Hartman said we could do it on our own, we're not set up with permits or licenses or tax ID. Not a problem, he said. If we wanted to say it was the diner doing business it was fine by him, since we hadn't poisoned anyone yet.

Another was that we hadn't really dealt in that sort of quantity before, and it would take some time to prepare. Not a problem, he said. They were looking at next week.

Were they going to want veggie options? We don't yet have a veggie pie, though we could try a spinach pie recipe. Not a problem, he said. We could take some time to work one up and see what the customer thinks of it.

Then there was how we usually just pull fresh pies out of inventory. Not that Hartman knows that. "We'll need an insulated food carrier." Not a problem, he said. Seems they run in the low hundreds, and if we didn't mind it trimming our profit a lot the estimated job fee would cover it.

Then there was how we couldn't pull an insulated food carrier out of inventory either. "We'll need a vehicle to transport the food carrier." Not a problem, he said. He (like apparently every Oklahoman) has a large vehicle, and since this was during the day we could borrow it. Just watch the paint job.

"But Tsu'na doesn't have a license in this country, and mine's long since expired." Not a problem, he said. We have a week. Surely it doesn't take that long to renew a license, right?

Then there was a problem.

"Whaddaya mean, you can't get one?"

"Ever since we got here we've been trying to live off the grid. Getting a license means having a residence and all."

He scowled at me for a moment. "You illegals? Have I got illegals working for me?"

"No, it's not that." Not that he pays us money or that there's any actual proof we work for him, but that didn't seem a wise approach. Instead I tried appealing to a red state mentality. "It's just that...we did our tour, we saw stuff we kinda wish we hadn't, and now we'd really like to live without any government interference. Staying off the grid helps with that."

"DHS gonna bust down my door?"

If anyone comes for us, I doubt it would be DHS. "No, sir."

"You promise you're not illegals?"

"Yes, sir."

He sighed, still scowling. "Busier at lunchtime. Can't drive you over then."

"How about 11? We can camp until the picnic. The food should be okay for that long. We can make some extra pies for your lunch people."

He studied me. I tried not to squirm. Though maybe a tactical squirm is worth developing.

"You two been good kids and done good work. Don't make me sorry for letting you stay."

Or he'd call the sheriff? Neither of us actually said that.

"Yes, sir."

So. Spinach pie. Phillo, spinach and feta. How hard could it be?

I need to let Tsu'na know we're having greek for lunch.