We made our excuses at the diner and went to a run-down industrial-looking building in a place called Sperry, so that I could see my magnificent miqo'te beat people up for fun and prizes. We went in separately, both so I could put down a cash bet on her without raising eyebrows, and so that those bandits she'd mentioned wouldn't see me coming.

I bet $50 on the first two fights, picking whichever guy looked smaller, which gave me better odds. Lost both times, but that was okay...I knew I'd make it up betting on my wife.

The fighters had decidedly stupid names, which made "Cat's Meow" look reasonable. They didn't have a visible gimmick like Tsu'na, so the name was just as outrageously inappropriate as could be. And yet there were a lot of videogame references...maybe this is just the videogame generation. "Bashter Chief" wasn't too bad. "Alan's Wake" sounded more like a racehorse than a prize fighter. "Stolid Snake" actually made me smile.

There was a break in the fighting after the second round. I leaned against a wall, watching the people, taking in the atmosphere. It was a moment before I noticed Shoulder was standing next to me.

Shoulder spoke first. "Uh...hi."

"Hey there. Here to see my lady fight?"

"Yeah. Uh...that okay?"

"It's what she's here for. Betting on her?"

"I'd be a fool not to."

I nodded thoughtfully. There'll be fewer fools as time goes by. "How's the shoulder?"

"It's good. Real good. Clinic lady said there'd be some stiffness, but it's working great."

"And the other guys' wrists?"

"Mark and Chester? Yeah, they're good too."

So, Mustache and Choker. Or perhaps Choker and Mustache. "How 'bout the bartender?"

"Oh, Pete's real good. You know, he thought he'd lost an eye when that shot hit him in the face, but after you did...whatever you did...he was fine. Keeps the shirt with the holes in it."

I nodded.

"So...you an angel?"

"Angel?"

"Super strong, wears white, heals people?"

"Hah. No, not an angel."

"Then how'd you fix us up like that?"

"Classified."

"What, like government stuff?"

"Can't really talk about it."

"Didn't know people could do that."

"Well, we can't talk about it."

"Huh. So how come you were lookin' for a fight club at Murray's? Don'cha have secret government training facilities or whatever?"

"We're not with the government at this point."

"Okay, but what'd you want us for?"

At that point they announced Cat's Meow. Tsu'na came out wearing her overcoat and beret. I wondered if she needed a cape with a cat kissy face (kissy cat face?) or something. We went around to place our bets; I didn't get too strong a reaction when I bet $500, but I suppose I might be remembered now.

Tsu'na took off her hat and coat and got cheers from the crowd...either she's now got a fanbase here or she's just that hot. Because, after all, she is. She handed her clothes off to the guy at the gate and stepped into the cage in her sports bra and shorts.

Her opponent for the evening went by Rap Mashup. He looked fast and dangerous, working through some quick-jab warmup routines while Tsu'na luxuriously stretched on the other side of the cage. The promoters must have told her to do that; it got more crowd reaction.

The bell rang and the two opponents turned to face each other. Mr. Mashup danced in on the classic boxer float-like-a-butterfly stance. I expected Tsu'na to fall into Opo-Opo, but she didn't; her stance was more like a Paladin, with her left arm up like a shield and her right fist ready to jab. That would not have come from the promoters; I wondered when she'd taught herself that.

He floated, she prowled, they circled. Mr. Mashup came in with exploratory jabs, which she blocked with her arm. He moved in for a longer combo; she added her other arm to block with. He tried to punch around her shielding arms; she hunched her shoulders and took it.

Finally he tried to get more serious. He started a sequence of jabs with his left, trying to draw her arms off so he could throw a solid right. She ducked under the right fist, darted forward, put a shoulder to his ribs, wrapped her right arm around his chest, and heaved.

Mr. Mashup went down hard onto his back on the floor mat with Tsu'na's arm on top of him. While he was trying to get his wind back she locked his right arm and right leg. He kicked, he scrambled, he flailed at her with his left arm, but it was clear he wasn't going anywhere. The guy at the gate called it, and Tsu'na got up for a modest victory pose for the yelling crowd.

My magnificent miqo'te was magnificent, but admittedly Rap Mashup contributed to that by not being worthy of her effort. As we went to collect on our bets I leaned in to talk quietly to Shoulder. "Now, you see what she did there? You know how strong she is. Did you think she was really trying that hard?"

"Uh...no? I mean, yeah, she probably coulda got that guy down sooner."

"Right, but she might've hurt him if she did. We try not to hurt people unless they have it coming, and these guys don't...they're just in it for the show and the money, like she is. But it would be really easy to hurt them, you know?"

He nodded slowly. "So...when you were at Murray's, you were looking for guys to fight and practice not hurting 'em?"

"Exactly!"

"...Didn't do a good job."

"Well, we need practice."

"So, really...you want to learn how to not fight."

"I...guess that's true."

He looked thoughtful. "Got a number?"

"Why? You going to ask me about my car's extended warranty?"

"No, no, I just might know a guy."

"A guy?"

"Yeah. Name and number?"

"...Sid. My lady's Tabitha." I gave him my google voice number.

"Alright. I'll be in touch."

We parted ways after getting our payouts. A couple guys eyed me over the size of mine. I wondered if I'd get some practice hurting people.

In alignment with that thought, Tsu'na called my linkpearl. "Nice work tonight, my love."

It was no more work than usual. But the bandits are back. Come and Stealth with me?

"On my way."

I found the changing area, spotted Tsu'na in the shadows, shifted to Ninja and joined her in Stealth. I often hide my headgear, while Tsu'na tends to favor a brightlily corsage glamour, but for this occasion I went with full Ninja mask. We slipped out of the changing area and she pointed out men, one inside the building, one outside the door, and one at the building's corner.

We went back inside. Tsu'na re-entered the changing area and emerged in Earth normal. I stood by the guy she'd indicated, watching him watch her going through the main room to an office where she'd get her pay. He was holding a phone to his ear; I heard him tell someone, "She's finally out." I snatched the phone, snapped it in half, dropped it in front of him and walked toward the changing area. He was surprised enough that he didn't react before I got out of sight and re-Stealthed.

Back into the main room as Inside Guy ran into the changing area. Tsu'na came out of the office and headed to the door, plainly visible while I followed unseen. Outside Door guy saw her, said something on his phone and moved to follow; I came up behind him, stomped on his calf, grabbed his phone and snapped it, and left him on the ground cradling his knee.

Tsu'na headed toward the corner of the building. She stopped a bit short of it, took out her phone and poked and peered at it as I went on past. Corner Guy was there with a phone and also a gun. The first he saw of me was my masked face, but that was after my knee connected hard with his crotch. I grabbed both phone and gun from him as he doubled over. The phone I snapped; the gun I flung away after swatting him across the face with it. He was breathing when we left him.

My wife shifted to Ninja and joined me in Stealth. She led the way through the parking lot, looking about until she spotted a man with a phone. He was looking annoyed, talking heatedly at the phone in short bursts; when we were close enough to hear him, he was saying, "Answer me! Dammit, someone answer me!"

I stepped behind him, drew a dagger and held it to his neck. I whispered, "They're all a little busy at the moment."

He went still. His head lifted when Tsu'na shifted to Paladin and appeared in front of him, shield up, sword drawn. "What did I tell you about not fucking with me?" she asked quietly.

He didn't respond. I wish I could have seen his face. Tsu'na grimaced at whatever she saw and raised the sword to shoulder height, the point at eye level with the guy. "What did I tell you about not fucking with me?"

Her head bobbed slightly. I recognized Inside Guy's voice behind her. "Drop the sword, bitch!" I guessed he'd just poked her in the back of the head with a gun. She had her black brightlily corsage glamour on; little did he know he was pointing a gun at a level 80 Augmented Cryptlurker Elmo of Fending, which would laugh off a bullet. If it could, like, you know, whatchacall, laugh.

Tsu'na spun quickly to her left. I heard a clang as her shield knocked the guy's gun aside. He stepped back and pointed it at her again.

"Fire the gun, lose the hand," I hissed.

He fired. She swung. He screamed.

She turned back to my guy. Her sword had blood on it as she laid it on his shoulder, so that his neck was between her blade and mine. Her face radiated anger. "This is your last chance to live. Do you understand me? You will not bother me a third time."

He didn't answer. I could feel him shaking. Whatever happened in their previous encounter with my wife, it apparently hadn't gotten as real as this one did.

Tsu'na withdrew her blade, stepped back, shifted to Ninja and Stealthed, effectively vanishing right in front of the guy. I removed my dagger from his neck, shoved him hard toward Inside Guy, who was gripping a severed wrist and wailing, and Stealthed as well, leaving the two of them alone. We headed away from them toward the far end of the lot.

"Will that man live?" asked Tsu'na.

"Probably, if they're not too stupid. There's doctors that can re-attach severed parts. It's not magic, but it's not bad. They just have to explain what happened. And why the severed hand was holding a gun."

"I thought I had made it clear to them the first time that I was dangerous. Why did they not learn?"

"That's the difference between ignorance and stupidity. Stupid people can't learn."

She pursed her lips as she looked back at the parking lot. "Are there that many stupid people in this world?"

"Safe bet."

"Will I be cutting off more hands?"

"Wouldn't lose money on that. Not sure I'd even lose sleep."

"Perhaps we should find a way to educate people."

"We can brainstorm over dinner. What would you like?"

"Guiseppe's Pizza in Sperry."

"Where'd you hear about that?"

"Myra. I asked her if she knew of pizza better than Pizza Hut, and she said, 'Oh honey!' and told me about Guiseppe's."

I had to admit it was pretty good pizza. Almost but not quite good enough to distract from chopping off someone's hand.