Music has been my only escape. I do homework, I listen to music. I do my chores, I listen to music. I do some sort of therapy for my leg, I listen to music. It helps me in some way to think about something other than the accident and the ballet recitals that are going on right now. The counselor told me that all the classes are full, so it is impossible for me to transfer to another class. That puts me back into my ballet class where I have made so many useless memories. Emmalee hasn't really said anything to me since the accident, other than my first night home and a few times at school. 

The doctor finally took off my cast. He advised me to continue using my crutches, but I think I'll manage a couple days without them. I still have to take those dumb therapy sessions with a specialist about my leg. She's pretty nice, but half of the time, I can tell she want's to be elsewhere than here with an insolent patient. 

That night I talked with Luke, I've actually started to consider his suggestion. Though I still refuse to talk with my family about certain matters, I'm reconsidering the idea about competitions. It has been a while since I've last competed with a horse. Maybe this will give me something else to do than sulking around. Maybe I'll even contemplate about owning part of the ranch when I get older. Dad is already planning to divide the ranch among us. Though that is not what I really want to do with myself, I don't see another way out of it. My only other hobby has been snatched away from me. I've wanted to become the best dancer and go to dance school in England, or at least New York. Make a fortune in doing so.

Moon neighed as I got closer to her stall. The limp in my leg was noticeable. I really hope I won't startle her as much. "Hey girl," I said softly, indicating that it was just me. Her white flank was bit dusty, so I opened her stall door and came in. Cooing as I got near her. A brush in hand, I slowly and gently brushed her soft coat, every swift movement made her short fur glossy. Once I was done, I took out two small apples out of the pocket of my coat and gave them to her. 

I made sure her stall was closed and secured before stepping out into the cold breezy air. I let the cold air fill my lungs. Seemed like snow will get here sooner than expected. With Christmas in just a couple weeks, it really wasn't a surprise. I forced my legs to walk towards the tack room to put away the brush. My left leg felt stiff in the cold. Once I was shielded from the wind in the tack room, I quickly went over to the shelf and stood on my tippy toes to put away the brush. 

A familiar feeling washed over me as I put away the brush. Since the cast, I haven't really done any ballet exercises. The feeling of being light made my heart skip a beat. I let go of the shelf a little too quickly, figuring that my legs would cooperate. Moving both of my legs while still standing on tippy toes only lasted for a couple seconds until my left foot got a cramp and stiffened. My heart caught in my throat as I fell face first into the dirt with an "Oof". I must have looked like an idiot. 

"Paige? Why are you on the floor?" I looked up to see Luke giving me a lopsided look of confusion. Cody stood not too far away from us. I couldn't guess his expression at the sight of me. I shifted my position as Luke helped me up. I slowly dusted myself off.

"I uh...was putting away the brush." I stammered, completely embarrassed. 

"You could have just asked, we weren't too far away," Luke said, glancing down at me.

I rolled my eyes, "Well I didn't see you guys coming over here." Luke stood silent. "I must go home," I continued, "Wouldn't want to get sick." I limped past them without a glance. The wind picked up speed, hitting me in the back. Halfway to the house, I facepalmed myself, I just only realized I didn't speak in my British accent. I could only hope Cody didn't think much of it. The porch light was on when I stepped inside the warm house. My hands burned at the sudden warmth. 

Mom caught sight of me and quickly ran up to me, "Paige! Just what were you doing outside in this weather?"

"Chores," I grumbled, "Remember?"

"I will have a word with your father. Stay inside tomorrow, I don't want you catching a cold."

I dramatically let my breath go, but before I could storm past her, mom stopped me and asked to help her set the table. "Can't Lily help you?!" I snapped. I could see the sadness in her eyes, but I decided not to acknowledge that.

"Yes she can," She answered calmly, "but she has been helping me since you came home, since you have no problem getting around, I would like you to help me this time."

Fighting the urge to say something, I followed her into the kitchen with a heavy heart. Cutting the tomatoes and cucumbers for the salad was not a problem. When we were setting the table, Lily came into the kitchen with a big smile on her face. 

"You seem happy!" Mom noted, glancing at her as she mixed the sweet tea.

"You'd never guess!" She gushed.

Mom smiled, "Is it a secret? Or can you share?"

"It's about Jonny from school." 

She blabbed on and on about Jonny, how he was the new kid and all the girls started liking him and asking him for his phone number. I already felt sorry for this kid. "...he asked me out today!" She finished with the same smile on her face. It started to get annoying.

"And what did you say?" Mom asked when she put the iced tea on the table.

Lily shrugged, "I said I'd think about it, I don't know what to tell him."

"How about we'll talk about it after dinner," Mom suggested, "go call the dad and the boys." Obediently, Lily skipped off to find the guys, while mom and I finished up setting the table. Dad came into the kitchen minutes later. He looked really tired. At least he managed to clean himself before stepping foot in here. As soon as Tim and Abner walked in, mom stopped them before they could sit down.

"Did you boys wash your hands?" You would think 16-year-old kids would be more responsible, but I guess it's true what they say, boys are two years behind the girls. The twins hastily walked back out of the kitchen. I stood behind the countertop, waiting for the rest of my family. My thoughts started wandering off, so I didn't notice when Cody and Luke came in until Dad cleared his throat. I looked up and saw that everyone was already sitting down. My face reddened a little as I made my way to my usual spot.

We bowed our heads and Luke led the prayer this time. After everyone said Amen, I looked up and caught Cody giving me a peculiar look as he asked for the salad. Why is he still here?

Thankfully, dinner went a lot smoother than I thought it would. Our conversation went from how was your day, to the ranch. 

My heart plummeted when dad asked, "So, Cody, what school do you go to?" I slowly put down my fork. 

"Westside High, sir," He answered.  

Dad raised his eyebrows, "Westside? So you and my daughter go to the same school?" 

Before he could answer, I cleared my throat, "May I be excused?" Mom gave a hesitant nod. I quickly got up and dumped my tray, trying to get away from the table as far as possible. When I closed my door behind me, I sighed. I really don't want to be a part of their conversation. By now, Cody knows. I'm sure of it, I don't even know why I made it such a big deal. I'll just stay out of sight. School might become a problem. At least Christmas break will start soon. I looked at myself in my full-length mirror. Anger ran through my veins, I just wanted to smash the glass. My hair stuck out in every way possible and my hoody had some lint stuck to it. I brought my hand up and felt the bumpy rough texture of my cheek. I couldn't help but let the tears fall. This isn't fair. How come Emmalee is alright and I'm the one who got injured? She's following her dream, or in other words, my dream, while I'm trying to adjust to my new lifestyle. 

I limped over to my bed to lay down. Tightly hugging my pillow for some assurance that everything will be okay. Some might consider me the luckiest girl alive. I live on a ranch where you can pet horses all day. For some, not being able to dance might not be a problem. But for me, it's everything. I still can't accept that fact. 

I sat up and grabbed my earbuds from my night-stand and turned on some music. The soft melody felt overwhelming, so I turned off the music completely. 

It was barely 7:30. Feeling only slightly tired, I turned on my lamp to give some light to my dark room. My eyes got caught at the sight of a bible laying on my nightstand. It was there before, I just never really paid much attention to it. In the past, I didn't really feel obligated to read it, so I didn't. But this time, I just felt empty, I needed to hear something else. Some other reassurance other than the therapist. Even though my parents made me go to church on Sundays, the services stopped satisfying my hungry soul. Now is a different situation. I felt tired both emotionally and spiritually. Tired of running and hiding. Tired of being so ignorant.

I forced myself to sit up and reach out to the bible. 

The black bible rested in my lap. I debated if I should open it, or not. After a few minutes of debating, I sighed and finally opened it to a random bookmarked page. A couple highlighted verses met my eye. 

12 But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.

13 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.

14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:

15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

So, it's still possible to be whole again? These past four or five months, all I had to do was ask my pastor to pray for me? I slowed my thoughts down. Maybe I'm misunderstanding this passage. Verse 12 kinda got to me. I've started swearing under my breath a lot lately, and it specifically says not to. The last sentence left me speechless. Confess my faults?

I spent the rest of the evening trying to find answers to my questions. Not just in the dusty Bible, but also the internet. Finding close to no answers, I restlessly fell asleep.