"  I forced my eyes open because I just feared
It was because I suddenly became afraid eh oh
When I didn't want to speak at all,
I purposedly raised my voice because
There is no other reason
I fear, I fear  "

| Mino ft. Taeyang X Fear [SMTM S4] |

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Author's Note:

This one's for the ones who still want to read on from the last part (Chapter Twenty-Three) because heck yes.

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You were afraid of the many things in life that seemed to unravel along with what you had done. As you lay in bed, curled in a ball, afraid of all the things that haunted in the darkness and fearing of the innocence that threatened in the light, your hand tightly clutched your small soft toy that your mother had sewn for you.

Perhaps, it was correct to say, that you were afraid of facing the truth. 

How it was difficult to stand up against the world by yourself, calling the shots while everyone stared at you with those discriminatory eyes that pierced through your facade of coldness. 

How it seemed that when you shouted, your voice echoed in the valleys of the nights, only to hear the whispering of the cold wind piercing your bones returning with nothing left.

There was support from others, but sometimes, it seemed like there was none at times.

Eyes wide open, you watched as your fingernails pierced your skin, blood dripping onto the sheets even though it never helped to stop the fear from creeping through and spreading throughout your entire heart.

Every time, you forced yourself to watch. To watch just because you feared of the unknown. Every time, you feared that you would be alone in the end. Every time you feared that for the last time, you would close your eyes into an eternal slumber.

" Really, I can't expect that you arranged for me to meet you here in this shabby place." Arima's voice rung up beside you and you turned, immediately changing to a smirk on your face even though your face clearly had tear marks on it. 

Every time, you didn't want others to see what you were, for the fear of being seen as weak would creep in every time you were on the verge of calling someone just to cry out. For the fear that any sign of weakness would make people think that you were just seeking attention in this cruel and biased world. 

" Well, I've expected you've brought Sasaki along." You chuckled, even though it seemed a little forced by the looks of things. Your hair was shabby, face stained with tear marks and skin at the side slowly healing, unlike your usual cocky and proud image.

Even though you seemed weak, Arima didn't want to let his guard down for fear it was just a disguise.

Even though, who exactly knew? Whether it was a disguise or just a short moment of true feelings just because you had been strong for too long.

" You're the-" Sasaki stepped forward, eyes watching your every move like a predator, and you smiled sweetly, just like how you used to do in the past with Kaneki.

" Kaneki-senpai." You softly muttered, hands reaching out to him while you trembled, almost unwilling to believe that the person you dreamed of every single night was right in front of your very eyes, living and breathing.

" Ah, I-" Sasaki's eyes widened almost in disbelief, but just one look at you made him quieten down.

" Kaneki...Kaneki-" You muttered as you watched him, your hand on his face as you smiled this sorrowfully happy smile that seemed to seep of the pain and hurt that you had suffered. The longer you muttered, the faster it seemed your tears rolled down your face. A feeling so familiar yet strange and distant because you hadn't cried in such a long time. 

You hadn't been able to truly express your feelings in front of anyone. Everyone, even your brother, had seemed to take for granted that you were doing exceptionally well and you had practically a heart full of stone. 

Perhaps, not even for a slight second, did they ever think, that for that moment you were just a person on a small desolate island with waters quickly rushing ashore, desperately trying to drown you as you struggled to stay afloat. If someone ever asked what it felt like, it felt like you were drowning even though you were watching everyone around you breathing with wide smiles on their faces.

" You're such a jerk... Kaneki... You left me in the blistering cold..." You sobbed, breaking down into a thousand pieces as you buried your head into his shirt, breathing in the familiar smell that seemed to be mixed in with a foreign aroma. Arima merely turned his head to one side, knowing well enough that this was probably not a sight that he was supposed to see while Sasaki stoned right there, unable to move while in complete shock as to what else to do.

" Where did I go wrong? How come everyone's like that? They come, they leave with my heart and trust with them, and then they never come back even though they promise?" You cried, unable to control the flood of emotions. It was such a long time from when you actually revealed yourself, the small girl in the corner, hurt and broken with wounds bleeding yet trying so hard to stand up time and again.

" Because not all's true." Sasaki sighed as one of his hands raised hesitantly, and then smoothed down your back. You quivered under his touch while he felt the violent vibrations of sobbing of your sorry mess.

He sighed another time, pitiful for what the world had done to you.

That small innocent girl, beaten by whips of lies and betrayal with cuts so evident by how she chased everyone as they left her side but fell on the ground countless times, rocks burying into the wounds.

That small innocent girl who wanted to build a shield strong enough to fight everything in the world that had betrayed her and fulfill the expectations of others.

That small little innocent girl, who had tried so hard to give it her best and be the center of attention with her cold demeanor and pride, and yet, at the back, tried so hard to contain herself from breaking down and shattering into pieces. 

It wasn't fair, what the world had done, but even as you cried into the wind, no one would hear your cries for you were just someone that everyone thought would never do such a foolish thing given your pride and arrogance.

All except for him.

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Ha no one wants to hear me cry.

Ha lol.

I'm frustrated at myself, and yet sad.

A Math O Level's went so bad I'm starting to think if I'm stupid.

A Math is the bane of existence. If I have a child in the future, I'll ban them from taking A Math.