TW: Eating Disorder

Requested by Shriparna0

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Jimin had been struggling with food for weeks now. He had gained a little bit of weight while the band was taking a break and thought nothing of it, but once the band came back the first thing going around online was how he had gained weight and looked 'fat' now, according to anti's.

His members had told him to ignore it, but they also knew that during promotional periods Jimin always wanted to look his best so they encouraged him to eat healthy and work out to get back into great shape.

At first that was working, but Jimin became obsessed with the weight loss. Once he lost a few pounds he kept telling himself "just a few more" and then after that "just a few more."

He became obsessive with food. It started small, like eating smaller portions of meals or skipping breakfast. Then his members noticed he was going to the gym three to four times a day. Namjoon told him he was overdoing it and that excessively working out like that will only hurt his body, not help it.

Jimin didn't care.

I have to lose more weight.

After the gym started to become a problem, his eating patterns were sporadic and nobody could make sense of what was going on. Sometimes he would eat a normal meal with his members and quickly disappear. Or he wouldn't eat for a long time and then he'd eat enough for practically the entire band, and then disappear again. Sometimes he wouldn't eat at all, or he'd calorie count. He downloaded an app where he would put in the nutritional info for every single little thing he ate or drank. He also began cutting back. No sugar. No carbs. No this, no that.

His obsession was scaring the hell out of everyone at this point. He'd lost quite a lot of weight already and the the members were scared of how sick he was getting, and looking.

One night at dinner, he had his phone in front of his face and was putting food into his little phone app.

"Jimin," Jin started, "You can't put food into that app if you haven't even touched it." Jin gestured to Jimin's full plate of dinner. Everyone stared at him.

"I have to see how many calories this all is first and then see what I can and can't eat," Jimin told his hyung.

"Can you just eat and not worry about that for once?" Jungkook asked. He was scared and confused over his hyungs behavior. The obsession was eerie and Jungkook could practically see Jimin's bones through his skin already. He didn't understand why Jimin couldn't see that too.

Jimin turned towards Jungkook, "Mind your business, and don't try to tell me what to do." He turned back to his phone as he continued to enter stuff into his app.

Jungkook immediately looked to his other hyungs for some back up.

"Hey," Yoongi chimed in, "Watch how you speak to him."

Unfortunately for everyone, Jimin also developed a pretty bad attitude along with his eating troubles. He was always tired and snappy. Always hungry. He was always in a bad mood and never wanted to hang out or play much. This really upset Taehyung, because Jimin was his favorite play buddy. He was lonely lately without having his best friend to role-play their favorite k-dramas with.

"Well tell him to mind his business," Jimin snapped at Yoongi. Everyone sighed.

"Jimin, please, just a few bites? I mean we have fruits and veggies here you can eat. That's as healthy as you can get right? Good for your body, and mind." Namjoon tried persuading his dongsaeng but that didn't work. He was incredibly worried. He felt a big responsibility as the leader to make sure everyone was taking care of themselves so that they were healthy, and it was hard seeing Jimin not listen. It made him feel like he was doing something wrong as a leader and hyung. He didn't understand why his dongsaeng couldn't see himself the way they all did. He was already perfect.

"I really don't understand why you're so obsessed with this." Hobi stared at Jimin frowning and then placed his hand on his back. He could feel Jimin's ribs poking out from his back and he pulled his hand away. It made him feel sick.

"I'm not." Jimin said this without paying any mind to his members. He still had his face glued to his phone and that food app. Jin gently grabbed at Jimin's phone and pulled it away from him. "Jimin-ah, please. You're killing yourself with this."

Jimin got angry and huffed at everyone as he crossed his arms. With all eyes on him with desparation, he picked up his fork and started quickly shoveling his entire plate into his mouth. He stood up when he was done. "Happy?" He turned and stormed away, disappearing into the bathroom.

Taehyung sat at the kitchen table crying. The others were speechless for a moment.

Jin turned to Namjoon, "Joonie, please tell me that somewhere in the thousands of books you've read, you've discovered how to help people with eating disorders."

"A few, but I don't really know what will work with him," Namjoon replied.

"Well we need to figure it out before we end up losing him." Yoongi dropped his gaze down to the floor and started to shed tears. The thought of losing Jimin terrified him.

Nothing got better after that night. Sometimes one of the members would find Jimin crying in his bed and he'd sob about how he hated living like this, how he didn't want to have this problem but he felt too out of control by now. He'd cry to them about how he misses his 'old self' and just wanted to be normal again. His members would lay with him and cry too. They wanted the exact same thing.

The members tried really hard to help Jimin. Namjoon and Taehyung both dove into books and online research to find the best ways to help support their brother. Everyone made an effort to not get angry with him for how he was acting, but to realize that they were dealing with a sickness.

Namjoon was feeling more stressed out than ever now that he was dealing with this burden as well as a lot of things he had to do at work. He always had a heavier load than the others because of his leader role, and it was starting to take a toll on him now that he couldn't escape a big responsibility at home either. It seemed like everyone was ultimately looking to him to figure out how to 'fix' Jimin.

One night his own irritable-ness got the best of him when his dongsaeng still wouldn't eat. He was on the verge of his breaking point with Jimin's stubbornness and the reality was that he wasn't a doctor or miracle worker. He didn't know the answer and not knowing what to do made him feel even worse.

Once again, Jimin had his phone out and was putting food into the app. To everyone's surprise, Namjoon had angrily told him to put the damn phone away. Jimin gave him a dirty look and then went back to what he was doing. Namjoon grabbed the phone and ripped it out of his hand.

"You know what? Maybe I'll just hang onto this until you learn to listen. Just ..just..eat, damnit!" Namjoon spat. Jimin gave him a disgusted look. The others gasped at Namjoon's tone. He'd never said anything with such anger to any of them before.

"Give that back!" Jimin yelled at his hyung.

"Oh, you want the phone back?! Well we all want you to just eat like a normal fuckin person, Jimin. There's a thought, huh? Maybe if you do that, then I will give you your phone back. Then we both get what we want."

"Namjoonie hyung, please..." Jungkook's chin started to quiver as he tried not to release tears. Namjoon was scaring him and he really didn't want to see two of his hyungs fight.

Jimin begged for his phone back but his hyung wouldn't give it.

"Are you listening to a word I'm saying?! Or are you only going to listen to all those comments online about you? You know what!? Maybe they're right! Maybe you should just continue to starve yourself. If you want to believe that you're fat like they say you are, then fine. Let's all just agree then, huh? How about that? Happy now?"

Yoongi and Jin both yelled at Namjoon to stop as Jimin sat there speechless and in tears, but Namjoon had a lot of built up anger and he wasn't finished. "Maybe you are just a fat piece of shit, Jimin. Eat less. Work out more. Keep up with that eating disorder of yours and let's see where it gets you. Maybe once you're dead you'll be satisfied."

"ENOUGH NAMJOON!" Hobi screamed.

Jimin sat in shock for a moment as his face was drenched in tears. After a moment of silence he stood up and looked Namjoon in the face. "Dying would be better at this point." He turned and walked away, retreating to his room in a fit of sobs. As Namjoon watched him go, his entire body tensed with dread.

No. Oh no. No no no. I didn't mean any of that. Oh God what have I just done?!

He turned back to the rest of his members and they were all sitting there with their mouths open in shock, and they were all crying.

"I'm so sorry..I didn't mean to-"

Hobi stood up. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Everything." Namjoon burst into tears and ran to his room. His own heart was shattered as he realized how much damage he'd just done. He was supposed to be helping Jimin and he knew damn well he just made the situation a whole lot worse. Of course he hadn't meant any of what he said. He loved Jimin and cared about him so much. He didn't at all actually agree to any of the hate online and he sure never thought Jimin was fat. And he definitely didn't want to see him get so sick that he'd die. He buried his face into his pillow and screamed through his tears, but his own crying didn't drown out the sound of Jimin's coming from the other room that was much, much louder.

Nobody else quite knew how to react. Now not only were they irritated with Jimin, but their hearts broke for him even more. And they were absolutely furious with Namjoon. They got up to go check on the two, but both of them wanted to be left alone.

And alone they were, because both of them had crawled inside their minds to escape. Days went by and Jimin and Namjoon didn't speak a word to eachother. Jimin was too hurt and angry at Namjoon to bother, and Namjoon was too hurt and angry at himself. The members tried to hold a meeting to get them to figure it out. Namjoon knew he needed to apologize but he felt like he wasn't worthy of forgiveness. He knew no amount of "I'm sorry's" would fix the damage he'd done to Jimin's already fragile heart.

Jungkook was constantly in tears and crying to both of them to fix things, which made Namjoon feel even worse on top of everything else. How many dongsaengs was he going to make cry before everyone ended up hating him just like Jimin did?

Jimin's eating disorder hadn't gotten better after that little outburst either. On the bright side, if there even was one, at least it hadn't gotten worse. However, he was a lot more reserved. He didn't really talk to anyone all that much even when the others put in a lot of effort to try and cheer him up.

A few more days of hostility went on between Jimin and Namjoon before Namjoon finally caved and decided he needed to try and be a good hyung. He overheard Jimin curled up in bed sobbing again and although he was nervous about it, he stepped into the room. He didn't say anything as he made his way to Jimin's bed and curled up behind him, wrapping his arm around him. He was quite surprised when instead of pushing him away, Jimin turned over to face him and buried his face into his chest to cry. Namjoon couldn't contain his sorrow anymore. He broke down crying too.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, and I understand if you never do. But I'm so, so sorry. I never meant what I said to you. Any of it. The comments aren't true. None of it is true. Nothing I said was true and it's not how I feel."

Jimin clutched the front of Namjoon's shirt and cried harder. "I don't want to end up dead."

Namjoon rubbed Jimin's back gently. "Nobody wants that." Namjoon completely broke down into a fit of "I'm so sorry" over and over again and repeating to Jimin how much he loved and cared about him.

"I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you," Namjoon cried. "I'm scared shitless about you." He went on and on about how it broke his heart seeing Jimin so sick. How everyone was incredibly worried. He gave advice about not listening to people online.

"I don't know what to do hyung, I want to get better but I don't know how." Jimin really did hate the way his life was going. He knew he was scaring everyone. It was written all over their faces. He hated what he was doing to them just as much as he hated what he was doing to himself.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do something better for you. All I did was scream and lie. I should have never done that to you. We will all figure this out together." Namjoon kissed Jimin's forehead. Although he didn't know if Jimin would ever forgive him, it still made his heart lighter being able to express how terrible he felt. That had to count for something.

Jimin curled up into a little ball as Namjoon held him. "I guess we've both made mistakes. I do forgive you, hyung."

Once again, Namjoon broke out into a deep sob.

Not much more was spoken as the two grew too exhausted. They fell asleep curled up in Jimin's bed together. When the members found them like that their hearts burst with happiness seeing the two had clearly worked something out.

The next day when everyone was awake, they were surprised to hear Jimin finally say he was actually going to seek help by starting therapy. Something he'd decided to do on his own.

"I'm proud of you," Yoongi said as he wrapped Jimin in a back hug. All of the members praised him for taking a positive step forward.

He kept taking positive steps forward as he went through a therapy program. The members noticed that he was slowly developing normal eating habits. He didn't constantly go to the gym either. His mood shifted and he was happy again a lot more of the time and in great spirits.

The true victory came the night they sat down for dinner and Jimin picked up his fork and started eating without even looking at his phone. He looked around and saw the members silently smiling at him. He blushed because of all the attention and then turned to Namjoon.

"It's like I'm famous or something," he joked to his hyung. Namjoon chuckled and patted Jimin's back. It was nice seeing him have a sense of humor again, he'd lost it for a while. It was also so nice for the members to see Jimin and Namjoon getting along like they always had. Namjoon truly was a miracle worker.

They all ate and the table was full of happiness and laughs. Taehyung was ecstatic that Jimin was also finally willing to role play k-dramas again. Jungkook was in a good mood and joined in too and even though he didn't know the shows all that well, he was great at improvising.

The biggest smiles came when Jin and Yoongi stood up to clear off the table and Jimin got their attention. Jimin grabbed Jin's wrist, "Hey."

"Yeah?" Jin asked as he stood there with dirty dishes in his hand.

Jimin smiled.

"Soooo.. what's for dessert?"

[The End]