CHAPTER SEVENTEEN.

Once they had returned to the ship, the clone medics checked Elly over for any injuries and when they found she was physically unharmed, they sent her away. It was just a matter of getting a shower, washing away the blood and getting some sleep. She was exhausted, mentally and it made it so difficult to think. She just wanted to shout at someone and scream about how it wasn't fair that the clones were treated like that but she didn't.

So instead, she went to her room and washed the blood off her hands. She didn't want a sonic shower. It didn't make her feel any better. She still felt dirty after it so she just had to get the blood off. She scrubbed under her nails and washed her hands until they were red raw. It didn't make her feel better and it was only when Obi-Wan placed a hand on her arm that she stopped washing.

She flicked the tap off and turned away from him. It was too hard to face anyone and she didn't want to worry him. She didn't want to lie to him either though. It was so hard. She dropped down onto her bunk and Obi-Wan watched her silently. He knew that she needed time but he couldn't watch her destroy herself after her first mission.

"It gets easier," He said after a moment of silence. Elly scoffed and stared down at her hands. They still felt dirty. It still felt like she had his blood all over her. She had never realised how brutal blaster shots were until that moment and then there was nothing she could do.

"I don't want it to get easier. I don't want it to happen," Elly responded, still refusing to look at Obi-Wan. She placed her head in her hands and then she felt it. The blood on her cheek and she threw her hands off her face. The panic took her in a chokehold as she shot to her feet.

She went straight to the sink but Obi-Wan grabbed both her wrists before she could start washing her hands again. They were still red raw from the first time. He forced her to face him, looking into her eyes.

"You're going to hurt your hands. Just calm down," His words were soft, gentle as she met his gaze. There was a sense of defiance to her actions but she didn't do anything. She just stared at him, her face breaking before she began to cry again. Obi-Wan pulled her into a hug and it was the first time in years that she had been hugged.

It made her cry harder. Her arms pressed against his chest as he crushed her against his chest. It would have been suffocating for anyone else but it made her feel better. His arms made her feel safe and after so long, she felt protected. Her face was buried in his chest and the armour that he was still wearing was somewhat uncomfortable but she didn't care.

He mumbled soft soothing words into her ear as he rubbed her back, trying to calm her down as much as he could. It took a few minutes but eventually she pulled back. The tears had streaked through the blood on her cheeks and Obi-Wan frowned as he looked at her. He then picked up a cloth from the side and wet it.

"I need to clean your face, stay still?" He asked and Elly nodded her head. She stayed completely still, watching him as he closed the space between them. He lifted the cloth up and gently began to wipe the blood from her cheeks. His movements were so gentle, she adored him for it.

"Why do we have to treat them like that?" Elly asked after a moment of silence between the pair. Obi-Wan drew his eyebrows together, tilting his head slightly, "They're meatshields." It was a murmur, barely distinguishable but when Obi-Wan understood it, he frowned.

"They're doing their duty," He responded. That was his usual response. It was what he told himself so that he could sleep at night without the guilt of their deaths on his conscience. He already had too much guilt in his chest, he couldn't hold onto those clones too. It was too much for him and Elly didn't blame him, not for a second.

"I wish they were more worth than that to the Republic," She said. Obi-Wan nodded his head, he couldn't agree more but there was only so much that he could do. Once he was done cleaning Elly's cheek off, he dropped the rag onto the side and then pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. It was so unexpected that she nearly flinched back from it.

But she didn't and the feeling of his lips against her cheek even for that fleeting moment sent her mind into overdrive. She wanted him so badly and as he looked at her with that adoring look, she would have done anything to grab him and pull him into a kiss. But it was inappropriate and she couldn't. She knew she couldn't.

"Did they find the holocron?" Elly asked. Obi-Wan nodded his head and stepped away from her. Elly looked to the mirror and her face was clear of all marks but her cheeks were flushed. A soft pink as she looked back at herself. Obi-Wan had caused that and she hated how much power he still had over her. It had been so many years.

"Yes, Commander Cody retrieved it while we spoke outside," Obi-Wan explained. Elly smiled and nodded her head. That was good. Her first mission was successful at least. After three years, she could finally think of her last mission as a victory and not a failure. Her last mission was now no longer the very thing that sent her into a meltdown. It was pleasant, "In an hour or so, we will have to debrief the Council. I'll find you when it's time." Elly turned around to face him and smiled softly.

That was the one part of missions she had always hated. Telling the Council. They didn't need to know every detail. All they needed to know was whether it was a success or a failure but they always pried. It was exhausting and she knew that the second she walked into that debriefing, she would be ignored.

Not a single eye would be on her. It would all be on Obi-Wan and how could she blame them? He was the Great Negotiator, he could charm anyone, she just wished that the Council actually paid some attention to the women in their ranks.

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The debrief of the Council went exactly how she had expected it to go. Obi-Wan spoke the entire time and informed them that the mission had been successful. Elly was not asked a single question and she was merely there to not her head and act as a puppet. Obi-Wan tried to bring her perspective but Windu shut down any attempts.

She was not important to the man and she would never be important to the Council. She was a woman and she had a feeling that was exactly why she had never been given a position on it despite how prolific a Jedi she was. But her disillusionment with the Council wasn't important. The mission was done and they were in hyperspace heading home.

Elly was glad but she was still thinking about Jegie. There was nothing else she could think about other than him. So, when the debrief finished and Cody and Obi-Wan dispersed, she followed after the clone troop Commander. The guilt had been swirling in her chest and she had to apologise to him. It was one of his brother-in-arms, someone he had likely known very well. And she had been responsible for his death.

"Commander Cody," Elly called when she realised that he wasn't stopping any time soon. The man came to a sudden halt and turned to face her. It was odd seeing him without his helmet but he looked so friendly. Just like Jegie. It was bizarre. They all looked exactly the same. Only hair colour set them apart, "I wanted to apologise. If I hadn't frozen up when faced with the droids, Jegie would still be here. I'm sorry that I caused you and the battalion any pain. I should have been more careful." It felt good to say those words that had been spinning in her head and Cody almost smiled at her apology. Not a happy smile but a sad one. He seemed grateful for the apology.

"Thank you for apologising but it was not necessary. We are born to fight and born to die," Cody responded. His words seemed almost robotic as he looked at her. Her entire face fell at that while he merely seemed content.

"You don't deserve that fate," She mumbled. Cody didn't know what to say and simply nodded his head before he turned away and left her in the corridor. There was nothing more to be said and she scoffed. The Republic was beyond cruel for what they had done to these clones.

She turned around and headed to her room. She was so tired. Her body wasn't physically exhausted but she was mentally checking out. She could feel it as she walked into her bunk. She dropped onto the bed and curled up. Her armour was already discarded back into her bag and she had switched into comfy clothes. Clothes that she would happily sleep in.

But she didn't get the chance to fall asleep because there was a knock at her door. Obi-Wan was stood on the other side and when Elly opened it, she was somewhat happy to see him. He could tell that she was suffering some emotional turmoil so wanted to help as much as he could. Elly dropped back onto the bed once Obi-Wan was inside.

The door closed behind him and there was no light in the room. He could barely make Elly out on the bed so he leant over and switched the bedlight on. It wasn't a harsh light and it lit up enough for both of them to see each other. Intimate lighting.

"The Council never even wanted to hear from me," Elly mumbled after a moment of silence between the two. Obi-Wan didn't have to say anything to know she wanted someone to talk to. Whether it was their bond or just something unspoken about their relationship but Elly had always felt comfortable talking to him, "They never have. If there was a man in the room, they always let him talk for me. I hate it."

The frown spread across Obi-Wan's face as he perched on the edge of the bed. He didn't want to intrude but he knew that they would likely be here for a while.

"And I just think it's stupid," Elly began as she shuffled back on the bed, giving Obi-Wan space to lie down across from her so they could face each other while she complained, "I am more capable than almost any Jedi. I am more capable than you to some extent. The only person who is truly greater than me is Anakin and probably Master Yoda. But they just don't wanna hear from me as if my insights would be worthless to them." She wasn't sure where this rant had come from but it felt good to get it off her chest.

"The Council are bureaucratic and patriarchal," Obi-Wan responded as he moved to lie down across from her. They were precariously lying on the single bed. Their faces so close to each other, looking into each other's eyes as they both lay on their sides.

"It's not even just patriarchy. It's blatant disrespect. I watched the droids shift patterns for longer than you and there was not even a question directed at me. I memorised the layout of that base for the recon. Some of our troops wouldn't have gotten out if I hadn't known that door would lead out and banged against it until you opened it," She mumbled. Obi-Wan hummed in response and Elly sighed. She buried the side of her face into the pillow.

"People who underestimate you will be surprised one day when you are on top," Obi-Wan retorted. Elly chuckled. She would never be on top. She was far too emotional. She was a complete mess. If anyone let her be a leader, they were signing their own death sentence.

"Maker, don't give me ideas," She responded. Obi-Wan chuckled softly as he let his eyes move over her features. There was something so beautiful about her. The way the chuckle made her eyes crinkle. They sparkled in the soft light as Obi-Wan admired her. She was so perfect. He had never felt such an overwhelming adoration for someone, "One day they will see, I suppose." She mumbled. Obi-Wan hummed in response and watched as she closed her eyes.

He could tell she was tired but he also knew that she didn't want him to leave her. So, he lay across from her with a soft smile as she fell asleep. She needed it and he knew that she deserved it after the day that they had had.

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