CHAPTER EIGHTEEN.

After the mission, Elly felt somewhat better. She felt confident in her abilities in the field and although she wasn't itching for a new assignment, she knew she would be prepared for one if she was sent away again. It was something that she had slowly begun to accept but just because she was accepting it, didn't mean the nightmares stopped.

It had been a long while since she had been plagued with a night terror but they had come back and she couldn't go back to sleep. It was images of Andri and that criminal base where she had suffered so much. Suffered to the point where death felt like the better option. Where death felt like the merciful thing to do.

But she had to try and ignore the nightmares. They weren't real and it had been a long time since she was on that planet. Three years felt like such a long time ago and she knew that she was safe now. Safe and happy and Obi-Wan would never allow that to happen again. She hoped that it would never happen again.

Elly hadn't been able to fall back asleep so she wandered about the Jedi Temple. Part of her hoped that she would run into Obi-Wan or Anakin so she could duel them but as she wandered past the training rooms, she had no such luck. It felt like she was the only one awake. The entire Temple was silent bar from her footsteps.

The soft slap of her bare feet against the floor. It was probably unhygienic but she didn't really care. There were worse things in the galaxy than germs. She wandered down the corridors past the classrooms and turned down towards the mess hall. It was so silent but then she felt it. The familiar presence of blue.

Obi-Wan.

She walked up to the mess hall door and gently pushed it open. Obi-Wan sat on the far end of the room, a cup of tea in his hand and a teapot in front of him. He looked so peaceful and yet lonely there. And when he felt Elly's presence, he looked up.

He met her gaze across the room and a smile spread across his lips. He seemed very happy to see her and she was beyond ecstatic to see him. After the mission, they had continued training but other than that, she rarely saw him. He had Council meetings and battle strategies to discuss. He always seemed busy with one thing or another. It was the first time she had seen him outside of training in weeks. She hadn't even seen him at eating times.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Obi-Wan asked as she walked over. Elly nodded and he smiled. He summoned a mug to his hand and placed it on the table, pouring her a cup from the pot. She sat down across from him and took the mug between her hands. It was warm against her skin and she couldn't help but smile. There was something so comforting about it.

"Why are you awake?" Elly asked curiously as she lifted the mug to her lips. She gently blew on the surface before taking a cautious sip.

"I couldn't sleep," Obi-Wan responded. His hand moved to gently stroke his beard as he averted his gaze. He seemed nervous about it. Elly knew plenty about his insomnia. He had never had the best sleep schedule and neither had she. It worked when they were younger but not so much anymore.

"At least it wasn't a nightmare," She mumbled. He chuckled softly and nodded his head. He had his fair share of those too, really, but he had been blissfully safe from them ever since Elly had come back into his life.

"Is that why you're awake?" He asked. Elly hummed softly in confirmation and he frowned. He lifted his mug up and took a sip while Elly stared into the tea. There was nothing she could do about them. She had tried just about everything but nothing seemed to work. They were always there. Always lingering.

"I just keep seeing her, all the time. And I love he-, I loved her so much but I want to be free of it. You were right, I need to move on," Elly said. Her voice broke as she pushed her fingers through her hair. The mug was now back on the table before she let out a soft sigh. It was exhausting and she loved Andri so much. They were like mother and daughter but Elly wanted the pain to go away. There was nothing she could do now.

"It is naive to think it would be that easy," He mumbled and Elly scoffed. She knew it better than anyone.

"I know," She said. She lifted the tea up to her lips again and took a long sip. It was odd how it took her getting out into the field for her to realise that she missed it so much. She missed being able to know she was saving people and she almost craved it. She wasn't seeking it out, she didn't have the strength for that but she was itching for a new assignment.

Obi-Wan could feel her inner turmoil and reached out across the table. He placed his hand over hers and she looked up at him. His skin was so warm and it brought back the memories of them on the ship. They were so close. Just seconds away from kissing but it had all been interrupted. Elly had tried not to think about it but when he looked at her like that, it was hard.

"It gets better," He promised. And she knew he was telling the truth. He had lost Qui-Gonn all that time ago. He had never spoken about it, never told her how much it hurt but she knew that it had ruined him. Even just for a brief moment, it had. He was stronger than she would ever be. His thumb gently rubbed across the skin of her hand before he pulled back rather abruptly.

"Do you think you'll be sent away again soon?" She asked as she rested her hand against her cheek, her elbow rested against the table. Obi-Wan took a sip of tea and then placed his mug down.

"I'm not sure. The Council want to save us for something more important. They know how valuable you are," Obi-Wan explained. Elly frowned and that is what surprised him more than anything. His eyes bore into hers as she frowned. "Do you want to go back out?" He asked, "I can get you reassigned." Elly shook her head almost instantly.

"I'm happy as I am," She answered quickly. He nodded and then watched as she stared down into the tea again. Her eyes told a different story. She didn't seem overly sad but there was something bothering her. Something he hadn't seen before. He wanted to know what but he knew better than to pry.

So, he stayed silent as they drank their tea.

-

After the circuit training, weights and cardio, Elly was exhausted. The thought of duelling Obi-Wan felt horrific as she lay face down against one of the mats. Obi-Wan sat on the bench, admiring her from afar. He hadn't said anything as he watched her breath raggedly. He had worked her particularly hard that day. He wanted to see how much he could push her and he certainly had.

"I hate you," Elly mumbled as she rolled over onto her back. It was obviously hyperbolic but Obi-Wan still took the opportunity to tease her.

"Hate leads to-" He began but Elly lifted her head and glared at him. He chuckled, a smirk on his lips as she dropped her head again. It was too heavy to keep held up and her chest was still rising and falling jaggedly. Her gaze on the ceiling of the training room.

The walls were wooden, the slats above her head and she briefly, jokingly wondered if that was the last thing she would ever see. It would be such a boring view to die to. Her ponytail was digging into head due to the mat and she let out a frustrated noise as she tried to push it from underneath her.

But after a moment of complete failure, she sat up and pulled the ponytail out completely. Her hair fell across her back and she ran her fingers through in an attempt to fix the parting before she sat up properly.

Her baby hairs were sticking to her forehead but Obi-Wan still found her as pretty as he always did. Red face or not, she was gorgeous to him. He wasn't sure when he had allowed these thoughts of her to settle in his mind but he had and he didn't entirely mind even if they were completely against the Code. In his mind, he knew that if he only thought them then they weren't against the Code. They were okay as long as they didn't manifest physically.

"I am not duelling you," Elly declared as she turned her head towards him.

"Okay," He said simply. She half-smiled at him before she let her head drop forward. It was far too heavy and she was very tired, "Would you like to meditate?" He asked after a moment of silence. Elly hummed in affirmation, "Would you like to meditate in here or we could go back to my room? I have some studying to do but I still want to accompany you." Elly lifted her head, crooking an eyebrow at the man. She opened her mouth to tease him before she realised who it was. The last time she had openly spoken to him like that, he had shut her down.

So instead, she settled on, "Okay." It was easy. It was short and there was no other way he could interpret that. Obi-Wan stood up from the bench and Elly forced herself to her feet. She grabbed her cloak and pulled it over her shoulders as the two headed back to Obi-Wan's room. It was only small talk as they walked back.

Obi-Wan wanted to ask her about why she seemed upset that they wouldn't be sent on a mission for a few more weeks but it didn't feel like the right time. The conversation had been in the early hours of that morning and he knew she was tired. This was a conversation that they needed to have when she was more well-rested and he was thinking more clearly.

Maybe, once she had meditated, they could discuss it. But they never got the opportunity. Once the pair returned to his room, Elly took the bed to meditate. It was the comfiest place to do it and Obi-Wan returned to his desk.

It was stacked high with books and he was quick to get stuck in. Elly watched him for a few minutes before she tried to meditate. However, her meditation made her sleepy and by the time Obi-Wan had pulled himself out of his books, Elly had fallen asleep on his bed.

Her body curled up as her head buried in one of his pillows. He would have found it odd if he wasn't so used to it. As a Padawan and even in later years, Elly regularly fell asleep in his bed. Sometimes they fell asleep together. It had been a part of their friendship. He was a safe space where she knew she could sleep without worry. He was her safe place to land and he found it comforting to know he had returned to that role. He had missed her.

-