Iris
"We just won. We just beat Zoom." Barry's eyes show the emotion that he has been burying the past few months. "Why does it feel like I just lost?"

I look at the man sitting on my fathers porch. The man that I grew up with, the man that knew everything about me. The man who his whole life he loved me and hid a whole part of himself from me.  "Because you've lost a lot in your life Barry" you thought you lost me. "More than most." Leaning forward I bring his attention back to me. "But maybe you and me, seeing where this thing goes maybe that can give you something for a change."

"That's all I've ever wanted to hear you say" Barry smiles at me before his smile is shadowed by his tear filled eyes. "And I wish I was in a place where I could try that with you, but I feel so hollowed out inside right now. I feel more broken than I've ever felt in my life. If I'm ever gonna be worth anything to you, I need to fix what is wrong with me. I need to find some, some peace."

I slightly shake my head his confession feels like a 'it's not you its me' speech. "Barry, listen to me. You waited for me for years. You let me get to a place where this is possible. So I'm telling you I'm going to do the same thing for you. Where ever you need to go what ever you need to do, do it. And when ever you get back I'll be here." Barry's eyes crinkle in a small smile. "Okay."

Leaning in we let our lips touch for the first in the same time zone. He pulls away before the kiss is anything more than two lips connecting. I couldn't help but compare the kiss to that of a father and a young child. "I love you too. And I always will." He replies, my mind automatically wonders if it was to my statement or my thoughts. Choosing to let him think about his thoughts and allowing myself space I stand after a short nod. Reaching the door I don't turn around as I close the door.

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I hear Cate's voice in my earbud and then nothing. Looking around, I soon realize that I am in front of my house. Joe's house. My, Joe's house. "Oh my gosh" I pull of my hood allowing a better view of the home I left behind. The home filled with all the people I care about. Except Caitlin. But Caitlin isn't in there. My Caitlin, the one who loves me. The one with memories of loving me.

"Cait" I whisper pulling my hair. What happened to her? Did I leave her alone? What did I do?

Taking deep breathes I calm my self. "Okay Barry" I say out loud. "Think. I have to see what changes I accidentally caused." I look at the steps of Joe's house. "If I'm correct...." I'm cut off as a figure steps out of the house. Quickly I rush to the side of the house hiding my self from my past self.

I listen to the conversation between Iris and I taking note for the first time Iris's tone and my body language. It was right there in front of me the entire time.

"I love you too. And I always will."

I cringe as those words leave his, my, lips. The words I have uttered so many times to Caitlin. The words that have taken on an entirely different meaning. Iris heads inside and then past me whispers goodbye before running further in the past.

Not bothering to change out of my suit I walk up to the door. As my hand touches the cold knob I shiver not from the cold but the fact that my family the people that know me are behind the door. And I left them.

Slowly opening the door I take in Cisco on the couch arguing with Wally. Joe shaking his head as he watches his son geek out. I search for the one person who I need more than anything right now. My eyes find her in the dining room standing next to Iris. Iris looks up smiling at me drawing Caitlin's gaze. "Barry" Caitlin says. "Where did you get that suit?" She speculates.

Her voice is enough to calm me down enough to answer the questions that follow.

The word suit quickly alerts Cisco "What in the world are you wearing? Where's my suit!" Cisco exclaims quickly standing. Wally looks confused. "Isn't it the same suit. But why are you in it?"

I run my fingers through my hair. "Bear?" Joe questions. "I've missed you all so much." I start.