I'm so fucking tired why am I even engaging in this conversation. I couldn't sleep at all. They texted me right as I actually fell asleep. God damn it.

Hoseok
Hey Hyung?

Yoongi
What

Hoseok
Did you sleep last night?

Yoongi
Nope :)

Hoseok
Send me your address. I can keep you company until you fall asleep.

Yoongi
Thx but no thx

Yoongi
I'm doing perfectly fine

Hoseok
I know ways that make you fall asleep quicker

Hoseok
Please.

Hoseok
Trust me, Yoongi.

I groaned. He's going to keep pushing me. I can't deny that. I don't want him at my house, but...

I want to sleep.

Yoongi
[Address]

Hoseok
Wow! You actually did it! I'll be over soon!

I turned my phone off and as I threw it to the other side of my bed. Great. Hoseok gets to see my shitty apartment.

I heard a knock on my door. Can I even get up?

I somehow lifted myself up and limped to the door. I cracked it open to see Hoseok's smile. "Hello Yoongi- OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY?" He opened the door fully to see my bloodshot eyes and dark circles. "How long have you been up?"

I rubbed my left eye as I thought. "48 hours? Maybe longer? Can't remember." He cupped my face in his hands. "Awwwwh, you poor sweet innocent baby..." I raised up both of my hands and flipped him off.

He chuckled. "Alright, you're tired. Let me help." I groggily walked to my room and collapsed.

"So...Why can't you sleep?"

"Don't know. Everytime I try to actually sleep, I got interrupted." He climbed onto my bed and started playing with my hair. "This helps me when I can't sleep."

I can't deny it. It's calming. Especially from Hoseok...

- - -

After what seemed like forever, I opened my eyes. Surveying my surroundings, Hoseok was nowhere to be found.

Sitting up, I grabbed my phone.

Hoseok 18hrs ago
You fell asleep fast! I left, hope you don't mind. Text me when you wake up~❤️

12:32 am
Yoongi
Hey

I scrolled through the messages I missed in the chat. Damn, I want out of that. 200 texts, 20 missed calls. Mostly from Taehyung.

Hoseok
Did you just wake up?

Yoongi
Maybe

Hoseok
I'm glad you got sleep!

Yoongi
Same here tbh

Yoongi
I need to head out, I have literally no food in my house

Hoseok
Do u want to meet somewhere?

Yoongi
It's late

Hoseok
And?

Hoseok
There's this café that's open 24/7

Hoseok
Late night Maid Café

Yoongi
Wtf

Yoongi
Ya know I don't fucking care at this point

Yoongi
Come on motherfucker let's go

Hoseok
I'll come get you

Yoongi
If you start randomly showing up at my house imma be pissed

Hoseok
XDDDD

Hoseok
I won't

Hoseok
Promise ;)

Yoongi
Alright hurry before I die of starvation

Hoseok
Eat something small beforehand pls

Yoongi
Fine

I'm not going to. I've starved worse than this, I can handle it.

I grabbed a glass of water, and looked through all the texts Taehyung sent me.

Taehyung
Hyung?

Taehyung
Where are you?

Taehyung
Ajosshi is worried...

Taehyung
I told him you weren't in the best mood this morning...

Taehyung
Are u coming?

Taehyung
Hyung?

Taehyung
My shift is almost over...

Taehyung
Hyung are you okay?

Taehyung
I want to check on you

Taehyung
>_<

Taehyung
Jungkook has no idea where you are either

Taehyung
Hyunggggggggggggggggg

Taehyung
Hoseok just told me what happened

Taehyung
Sleep well~

It's nice he's worried, but it won't matter later. I walked to the bathroom and grabbed the knife hidden under the sink. Right as the cold metal was about to touch my skin, I heard a knock at the door. Do it. I hesitated, but made a pretty deep cut. 100. I'm proud of you, Yoongi. The voice laughed.

I quickly wrapped up my wrist, threw the knife under the sink, and opened the door. "H-Hey..." I was panting. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah...I was in the middle of something when you...Knocked..." He nodded. "Ah, okay. Ready?" His gaze went to my wrist. "I need to get a jacket first. One second..." I ran into my room, grabbed my skull sweatshirt and threw it on.

Grabbing my phone and house keys, I walked out the door. "Alright. Let's go."

We got into his car. The back seat was full of clothes; probably from dance performances. My wrist stung from all the moving around.

"Hey."

"Hmm..?"

"Why is your wrist always bandaged..?"

I swallowed hard. "Paper cuts."

He didn't buy it, I could tell. He's too smart...

"Yoongi...I don't want to make accusations, but I want you to be honest with me." His tone was serious. Sweat rolled down my face as I clenched my fists.

"Do you cut yourself?"

I stayed quiet.

"Please be honest with me."

I sighed. "Why do you care?" His eyes widened. "You're my friend, Yoongi."

"I..." I stared to scratch at the bandage wrap. I hate my fucking anxiety. Why why why... "Why are you doing this to me..."

He pulled into the parking lot. "What..?"

"I can't... I can't I can't I can't.."

"Yoongi..?"

"I can't do this anymore..." I whispered. Oh shit. I'm going to snap. Not in front of Hoseok. Stop...Stop it...

"Are you okay..?"

I rolled myself into a ball and pulled at my hair. "IM NEVER FUCKING OKAY. I CAN'T DO THIS. DON'T GET NEAR ME! I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT, HOSEOK! WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS! IM SORRY!" Hot tears started streaming down my face. "Yoongi...We Don't have to be friends. Just...Please...Tell me what's wrong..."

I took out my earbuds and looked up at him. "Can I trust you..? Not to tell anyone..?" He took a deep breath. "I promise." He held out his pinkie. "But I will help you in any way possible. Remember that." I wiped my tear stained face, and linked my pinkie with his.

So I told him everything. About what I've been doing, the voice inside my head, my past...All of it.