I put my hood over my head, my earbuds in, and started walking home. Shit. Shit. Shit. I looked behind me to be careful, and I saw Jungkook. I don't think he's seen me yet, so I started sprinting away as fast as I can.

- - -

After a while of running, I make it home safely. I don't want to talk to them. Not now. Especially Hoseok. Why did you say that? Idiot. You're so fucking stupid. He's going to tell Jungkook and Taehyung. We didn't want them to know. Why did you fUCKING TELL HIM YOU FUCKING SHITTY ASS MOTHERFUCKER. KILL YOURSELF, NO ONE WILL FUCKING CARE. NO ONE- I put my earbuds in to drown out the voice. I locked my door and tried to fall asleep.

Hoseok.

"What happened in there, Hyung?" "Why did he rush out so fast? Is he okay..?" I stared at the door. "I think...It was my fault."

"We've got to look for him!" Jungkook rushed out the door as Taehyung turned to look at me. "Is Yoongi mentally okay..?" I hesitated. "...Not at all." Taehyung looked worried. "Go get Jungkook, we need to give Yoongi time. Let him come back when he's ready." Taehyung nodded and ran after Jungkook.

"Yoongi, I...

I'm sorry..."

- - -

Yoongi.

"It's been two days, Yoongi." I said out loud to myself. "You're going to have to face them sometime. There's no avoiding it forever." I had work today anyway, so I got up and walked out the front door. I dreaded this day.

- - -

I opened the door to the Music shop, hoping no one would notice me. I'm an hour late. And to my avail, no one did. I walked up to the piano and took out "I like it", which is one of the songs I wrote when I had Seokjin. I took a deep breath, but put my fingers on the keys.

I knew that Taehyung, Jungkook, and Hoseok were watching me. I decided to ignore it, and focus on the piano.

I eventually forgot about the people around me, and smiled remembering when I played this in front of Seokjin...

*Flashback*

"You're amazing, Yoongi! Wow!" "No, not really.." He flicked my forehead. "Be proud of what you've written! You wrote the melody, AND the lyrics! That's talent! Be happy!" I smiled at him. "Alright, fine. I'm proud of myself-" I said shyly. "That's the spirit! Remember that I'm proud of you! Show the world what you've got! Play the piano with pride!"

- - -

Finishing my piece, I slam my head onto the piano keys, people yelling at me as the unsatisfying cords play throughout the shop.

"Yoongi..?"

"Go away." I closed my eyes and focused on the piano, which was still vibrating a bit. "That was a beautiful song." Hoseok said. I knew he was smiling. "It's shit."

"It's not..." I sighed, opening my eyes to see Hoseok with his head on the piano keys as well, looking at me. He smiled. "Do you want to go get coffee..?" I sat up quickly. "Wh-What..?"

"You seem tired. Let's go!" My face turned pink as he grabbed my wrist and led me out of the shop. "B-But...My job..." He looked back at me and smiled. "I asked ahead of time. Don't worry!" I bit my lip as my face became an even darker shade of pink.

He can't get close to you. He can't be there when it's time.

"What do you want?" I fumbled with my phone in my hoodie pocket. "Uhhhh...I don't know...I don't usually go out for coffee..."

"I'll order and you decide meanwhile." I nodded. Maybe just black. Yeah, black americano. Wait, you're actually thinking about this, headass? I turned the volume up. "I'll get a vanilla latte." The Batista wrote it down. "Yoongi?"

"Hmm? Oh, uhh..." I looked at the barista, then at Hoseok. I want to tell the barista, I'm too awkward. Should I whisper to Hoseok..? I lean in and tell him what I want. He laughs, and tells the barista. "I'll pay for you, Mr. Shy~"

"No. I'm paying for myself, thanks though."

"You have no choice."

"I'm buying." Hoseok paid for my drink. "I'm paying you back wether you like it or not." He laughed. "I'd like to see you try!" I pouted as I chased him to the table he choose.

We sat down, he was fine while I was out if breath. I'm so out of shape. I looked through my wallet to find money to pay him back. "Damnit, I have no loose won." "I wouldn't accept it anyway." I puffed my cheeks out. "I'll force you." He had a confused look. "And how will you do that~?" "I'll shove it in your wallet." He smirked, "I'll have to keep an eye on you then~" I shook my head. "It's easier to keep your eyes on your wallet, I'm hideous to look at." His face fell at that. "I think you're beautiful..." He muttered. I heard what he said, but being stupid, my shitty ass said "W-What did you say..?" His face flushed red. "N-NOTHING! I said...Nothing..!" He laughed.

We were finally called for our drinks and headed out the door, both if us obviously not wanting to stay any longer. "That was fun. We should go out again sometime." He smiled at me and I shrugged. "Maybe."

- - -

I got home, tired from all the exercise. I barely did anything, but I'm weak. I walked into the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. You're so disgusting. Why did Hoseok even ask you out? Why would he want to talk to this fucker? You should just die, Yoongi.

I looked down at the floor. Faint bloodstains remain from when I've cut too deep. I've learned the ways of self harm across the years, so I'm okay now. But the accident last week still leaves marks. I grabbed the knife, hesitated, but slid it across my wrist. I made it deep today. I feel numb. Everything feels numb. The blood trickled down my wrist and onto the floor.

I put a bandage over my wrist, and cleaned up the blood on the floor and the knife.

That's number 99, Yoongi. Only 51 to go until you kill yourself. The clock is ticking~