*They asked, "Do you love her to death?" I said, "Speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life." Mahmoud Darwish*

Badr lowered to the spot next to Shouq, his fingers disappearing in the wild grass around him, the aftermath of heavy winter rain. He wanted to make sure Shouq was fine. No, he yearned to know Shouq was well and that his little ploy did not cause her any harm. Badr could not grieve her more than the pearl of Borkan already endured.

They sat in utter silence, with Badr facing forward into the night, and Shoug had her head down, endeavoring not to shatter, not now, not when she came this far. Coming here was her verdict: her choice to wed Badr, and she wanted to trek on this voyage to avenge Gaith.

Desert crickets chirped into the night, and right above their head, an owl hooted, scouring for prey. Now and then, the burning wood crackled, and the light surrounding the fire almost made the desert feel like home. Its warmth bewitching Shouq, pledging her safety, of love she knew she bid farewell to a few hours ago.

Just as a pack of wolves howled into the dark, a call to notify each other that humans had trespassed their territory, Shouq rose and walked a few feet away from Badr. Sitting with him felt like thrones were swathed around her heart, and each throne pricked the organ, causing blood to run down her veins, suffocating her.

She could not. It was too raw.

When she had asked the Rashideen to marry her, Shouq was certain Badr would deny and return her safely to the Borkan tribe. However, when the knight agreed to her proposal, it felt like taking a step closer to locating Gaith's killer. Indeed, both Faris and Badr permitted this matrimony primarily because eyes had witnessed her departing the sanctuary of her tribe to meet with another man in the night; the damage she unwillingly caused led her to accomplish a goal at the expense of her happiness.

Shouq swallowed as she recalled when she said yes, a piece of her heart had split open, for her lips had betrayed Gaith. Her heart belonged to Gaith, and Shouq knew she would never give it away again, not even to her spouse, Badr. The man had merely acceded to shelter Faris's sibling, to guard her virtue from the eyes of the vultures. Shouq was aware Badr did not desire this matrimony because there had been a time, she had waited for him, and Badr had never come.

He never chose Shoug because he was a Badr (moon), and she was a star among the billion others in the inky sky. She was just an obligation!

A single tear trickled down her right eye as the owl above her hooted again; and took its flight into the dark. What will she commit now? Here she was, in the desert, with men she did not know, men she could not trust. Indeed, Badr was her spouse, but they both knew it was merely a card to journey alongside them. Who were these men with Badr? What was their purpose in voyaging along with him? Were they treacherous?

Shouq did not know; for her eyes had seen nothing else, and her brain had been reeling over the fact that she was now a married woman. A few days ago, she belonged to her Gaith, but now her life was no longer hers; a part of her needed Badr, even if it were to use him for safeguard.

Her back stiffened as a shadow reached her, followed by Badr's form. He stopped at arm's length from Shouq, both facing forward, aware his men may sit around the fire, but their attention was on them. Seconds slithered over the dunes turning into minutes by the time they brushed the ground, and Badr remained hushed, perhaps allowing Shouq to understand he was there. Truly.

"Are you injured?" His voice reached her, meant for her ears only.

"Not physically, no."

Stillness again, as if it were a visitor, Shouq and Badr were waiting with bated breath to meet.

"My men will not be lenient. They are warriors from different parts of the desert, each with pain only they endure, and the ground behind their misery is the man who took your Gaith." He did not look at her, and Shouq could not meet his gaze.

There had been a time she craved to see the man standing next to her every time he came to visit his sibling, Raghad. However, at that moment, Badr was a stranger. It had been Gaith and his utter devotion for Shouq which evaporated all yearnings she may have had for Badr; she had fallen so ardently in love with Gaith that Badr did not exist in her heart.

"I comprehend, which is why I do not expect leniency from them," Shouq murmured.

"Although I believe you have proven to these knights that you are not a hindrance: but rather, a woman well-trained to fight alongside them." From the corner of her eye, Shouq noted his attempt to smile. He endeavored to lessen her misery.

A gentle breeze circled them, cutting through the trees, turning up the silver undersides of the young leaves to the flames of the fire, and causing gooseflesh to sprinkle Shoug's skin; shivering, she pulled her shawl tighter around her form.

Without another word, Badr bent down and collected twigs and timber in his arms. Shoug frowned as she noticed how the twigs bit into the skin of his exposed hands as he had the sleeves of his kandoora rolled up to his elbows.

She turned around and watched with a slight tilt of her head as Badr dropped the timber two feet from where his thobe lay on the grass and walked up to the fire his men sat around. Badr grabbed one of the burning woods by the end, flames hissing, and marched up to where Shouq stood.

In silence, he dropped the kindling wood into the twigs, and they both watched sparks fly: and soon, the rest of the woods kindled. Badr sat on the spot Shouq had previously occupied, and soon due to quivering from the frosty weather, Shoug ambled and lowered on the place Badr had been sitting.

"If you are cold, tell me. If you are frightened, inform me, and if you require something I may disregard, by Allah, Shouq, you must tell me." Badr crossed his feet, still not looking at her.

"I apologize. I did not realize I was shivering." It was true. Shoug had not realized that her teeth were clattering.

"Faris protected my sister, and I must guard his sibling," Badr expressed, matter-of-factly.

Indeed, this was a task for him and an obligation for Shoug to avenge Gaith; there were no sentiments or affections between them. It was almost as if Badr and Shoug used each other to accomplish a trade.

"I want you to comprehend the graveness of your situation, ya Shoug. We will travel for hours despite any storm or hail. I cannot delay my pursuit of the culprit, for he changes his location every other day. It is impossible to locate him."

"Do you know where he is now?" Her heart thudded in her chest: the beast who murdered Gaith could be hours away from her. Would she be able to slay and drench her hands with blood?

"Yes."

"How?"

"I have men that report me of such movements. I make sure that every beast slithering in these lands is under my radar, just as Faris ensures his sister is protected."

"What do you mean?"

Badr chuckled, a humorless laugh. "Know this, men like us, men with obligations, hire dangerous people to shadow movements. Faris has his men tracking my trail, and I work to follow Harib's wake."

Shoug peered at the fire as it grew, burning the woods, the smoke vanishing into the night. Shouq allowed her gaze to find the countless stars in the sky, so far away, somehow, they had increased in numbers in the desert, and she wondered if they were here to accompany her in her grief.

"When do you think we can locate them?" Her lips whispered.

"Within two days: if we ride without stopping," Badr answered.

"Then why did you cease our voyage?" Shouq frowned; if the man moved through the desert like a night fox, they should not waste time by taking shelter.

"My men need their slumber, and we cannot strain the horses more than we did today."

Shouq swallowed. The men and horses were merely an excuse; Shouq knew Badr had halted for her sake, for her to rest. Shoug felt a pang of ire at the thought. She did not want to be the ground behind such acts. She was not frail. She was a Borkan.

The wind knocked at a wooden door only to be opened by silence, and it observed as Shouq and Badr peered ahead, lost in their worlds. "You must not delay our journey for my sake."

"You are mistaken, ya Shoug. My men need their rest to function adequately. If men were to lunge from behind those dunes and attack us now, these knights need their rest to protect you." Badr clarified, and Shoug nodded. A log burned and fell to the ground, smearing sand with its ashes.

"I cannot promise you." Badr started. Shoug glanced at him for a brief second.

"Promise?"

"I would be a fool to say this marriage is an ideal one where I would give you happiness, and you prosper. By Allah, I cannot even promise when will be the next time you meet your family. All I can commit at this stage, Shoug, is to prepare you for your revenge."

Her head shot to her right, and she met his gaze for the first time. "What do you mean?"

"Prince of knights taught you to yield a sword and defend yourself, but I will teach you how to drive that sword through Harib's chest," as he uttered those words, Shoug watched when he finally met her gaze.

"You ponder I am not ready?" The words escaped her lips her eyes were wide. Shoug witnessed something in his gaze, something she could not comprehend, it torched just behind the veil of honey brown. Was it apprehension?

"To bring Harib to his knees, bloody and demented, you must learn to battle like a warrior. A warrior who would," Badr leaned in a little the desert night breeze, though often chilly, carried a touch of warmth that brushed against his skin: as if gossiping secrets of the desert's mysteries.

"Drive a sword in a man's heart, feeling bones crush, and blood coat the sword yet does not blink. Are you that warrior, Shoug?"

A shudder traveled through her form at his words, and for some reason, Shoug felt blood coating her hands. Inhaling, she met his gaze, unwavering. "I must be."

Badr smiled, almost tauntingly. "Very well. If I am gifting you the death of my enemy, ya Borkan, you must ensure me that you are competent to satisfy my demands."

"You are ridiculing me." Shoug almost growled. It was she who decided to come and fight for Gaith; seeing Badr think so little of her caused a burning sizzle in her blood. Was this why he never saw her as a woman who could stand alongside him? Did Badr think she was feeble to be his pair?

Slowly, her pain commenced transforming into wrath and repulsion. It did not matter what the Rashideen pondered about her, she was here to avenge Gaith, and it was her prime intent.

"No, why would I ridicule you? I am merely asking to understand your weaknesses, so you do not perish on my watch."

There it was again; a duty Badr must comply to.

"Tomorrow, when we rest from our journey, I shall fight with you," Badr announced, looking at the fire again.

Shoug swallowed.

"What is the matter?" Badr questioned, looking at her sideways.

"I do not know what this journey holds for me. I never envisioned battling another man aside from Faris and Nasser." With each word, her voice grew softer, her pain grew louder.

"I am not just any man, ya Shoug. I am your spouse by the will of Allah." Badr whispered, the tone in his voice felt like he was informing himself of the obvious.

Her spouse. The word sounded so different to hear and understand; her heart and mind needed to comprehend that this man was her spouse, and she must trust him, but could she?

"Very well," she replied, bringing her knees closer to her chest against the cold.

Badr rose to his feet. "You must rest now. Just as we pray fajr, we shall commence our journey." He did not look at her as he spoke.

After a short pause, as if Badr wanted to say more and decided against it, he walked away to where his men sat and sat there staring at the fire, and somehow it felt like she was burning along with the woods. Taking a deep breath, Shoug moved to her right: and slowly leaned against the tree trunk, her back to Badr and his world.

As Shouq went over the events of the day once again: fatigue took over her form, and her eyes started to shut. The burning flames blurred, and the chirping of crickets turned into a buzz as her eyes closed, and Shoug fell asleep against the tree.

**

Shoug curled closer to the warmth in her sleep when a cold breeze caressed her cheeks; she opened her eyes to the dark desert night the fire Badr had lit was now close to ashes. Her body ached all over, and her sleeping position did not help either. Somehow, she had rolled to her side on Badr's thobe, facing the fire. Shoug also noticed the horse that grassed the bushes two feet from her and understood it was to shield her from others.

Badr.

Slowly, she moved to a sitting position, thankfully, her scarf still tight around her head. Looking around, Shoug noticed Badr's men sleeping around the fire they had lit: their fire still roared, clearly to steer away animals. Unknowingly, her gaze looked for her spouse among the men sleeping around the fire.

"Sabah el kheir." A voice spoke close to her.

Shoug would have screamed if she did not recognize that voice; unfortunately, she knew that voice way too much. She turned to her right and saw Badr leaning on the other side of the same tree she had slept on.

"Sabah el noor. Is it Fajr time?" Shoug asked, noticing how Badr had removed his headdress, his hair longer now than before, he had pushed his sleeves up to his elbows, and his eyes were closed, looking peaceful. Inhaling deeply, Shoug looked away.

"Almost. I was about to wake you for prayer." After a short pause, "See that goat skin next to your feet; take that and perform ablution. I shall wait for you."

"Very well."

"Do not wander too far," Badr called once Shoug grabbed the goatskin and commenced to walk away. Without replying, Shoug walked until she could not see them. Performing ablution, she returned only to see Badr stand on his cloak, waiting for her to pray. His men were nowhere in sight.

Without a word, Shoug stood behind Badr, and just when she did, her spouse raised his hands and recited Allahu Akbar, and with that, they prayed fajr.

Upon finishing, Shoug bent and grabbed Badr's thobe; she shook the cloak, aware of how the knight watched her. Shoug folded Badr's thobe and handed it to him. "You did not have to do that."

"I used it and slept on it. It is only human to clean it before handing it back to its owner." Shoug responded.

"Very well," Badr said and added. "We shall depart soon. My men are praying. I will prepare a quick morning meal for them."

"You would?" Amazed, Shoug's gaze met his for a few seconds.

"I may be the one leading them, but for the leader to be one with his men is to aid in minor tasks." With that, he walked towards the horses.

Shoug stood there contemplating. Her eyes were on the Eagle of knights as he lowered some belongings from one of the horses and pulled out another goatskin and a pouch. She could stand there and do nothing, or Shoug could walk up to her spouse and help with the meal. Badr's men already pondered she was a feeble woman who was a burden on them; however, if she could aid with their meals and shield herself, she would no longer be a weak mourning widow.

With a sigh and determination, Shoug walked to Badr just as Badr's knights finished their fajr prayer. "What is in the goatskin?"

"Milk and date in this one." Badr held the pouch to her.

Shoug took the pouch from him. "How do you and your knights eat?"

Badr rose to his feet, facing her. There was something in his eyes Shoug could not comprehend.

In the tranquil embrace of dawn, the wind whispered through the sparse bushes, creating a mesmerizing symphony of nature. In the untamed wilderness, Shoug wondered what her destiny in the hands of the man before her would be.

A crackling fire danced next to them, casting flickering shadows on the surrounding sands. The warm glow mirrored the intensity of Shoug's feelings. The flames echoed her passion, her rage.

"Ya Badr." Called a voice Shoug was yet to be familiar with.

"Hala ya Jabbir. Let us break our fast. We must not delay our departure further." Badr did not move away from Shoug as his eyes moved to Jabbir.

"Shall I help with the food?" The man named Jabbir asked, uncertain.

"No, Shoug has asked to aid me with our chores today." As he said the words, his gaze briefly lowered on Shoug, then moved back to Jabbir.

She had not voiced her thoughts, and yet he comprehended her intention. Shoug slightly frowned. So, this was where Badr was dissimilar from Faris. Faris, despite knowing your intents would persuade you to utter them as he had constantly done with Raghad: however, Badr took it upon himself to lessen her burden. Shoulder Shoug in her journey, even if it were as small as helping his men eat.

"In sha Allah," Shoug whispered for him to hear. With that, she opened the pouch.

"Here, have this." Badr held out palm fronds woven to form small, round platters that could fill someone's hand. "Seven dates for all would do. I will help with the milk."

Shoug nodded. She lowered to the sand: placed the palm platters on the sand, and carefully set seven dates in each. Just as she was about to stand, a shadow fell over her. Her body gave a jolt from dread she was with men she did not know, and she was nowhere near comfortable being around them.

"Do not fret. It is I. My knights would never dare come near you again. If they do, by Allah, I shall eliminate them." Badr's voice reached her ears, and she relaxed. Shoug looked up at him from her position as the first rays of light bathed the desert, and suddenly she felt a renewed sense of hope and possibility.

Now, at that moment, in these barren landscapes, Shoug discovered the boundless potential for transformation and knew that Badr would gift her, her revenge. Together, they will traverse the windswept trails, overcoming obstacles with unwavering determination.

** 

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