**You became the oceans, and drowning became the one thing I desired**

Maghrib was soon approaching, and Badr had not felt this drained in the past seven moons; it felt as if the wind clawed at his brain. Badr stood there on the top of the cliff and watched as Faris wrapped his hand around Shouq's palm and walked up to where Badr stood with Khalid, Jabber, and Abdulrahman, the elderly sheik of the Rashideen masjid.

When Khalid arrived, he was bewildered, his eyes shooting from Faris to Shouq and then Badr again. Badr had to explain everything to his sibling, Shoug's demand, Faris's needed presence, and his unwanted verdict. Once all was clear, Khalid had merely nodded his head, agreeing that Faris and Badr were indeed out of choice. Badr inhaled and moved his gaze to Shoug, and when his gaze landed on her, he could feel the scattered clouds veiling the sun. Her eyes seemed like glass, clear: just like a serene lake before a wind ruffled the water. She was calm: at last.

"Faris, I wish to speak with Shoug before we finalize this," Badr asked for permission, his eyes still on the woman who denied meeting his gaze Shoug stared ahead at something he could not see.

Faris glanced at his sister, unwrapped his fingers from hers, and moved away. The rest of the men followed Faris as he moved a few feet from them, keeping both Shoug and Badr in sight.

The scattered clouds moved away from the sun as it pushed them to peer at the Eagle of Knights. The right side of the sky turned a shade of purple with blue dripping like honey from it: on the left, the sky was radiant orange, dipped in the light of the sun.

Badr did not look over his shoulder, he knew Faris stood at a distance where no one would overhear their conversation, but at the same time, he and Shoug were in plain sight of the knight of knights.

The sun descended lower, and Badr took a single step towards Shoug. "Shoug." He pronounced, his voice a whisper, but it was so loud that the wind shivered.

The crescent shimmered in the murky sky like a jewel accompanied by a single star as a companion. Shoug moved her eyes from the world only she could see and met Badr's gaze.

"I need you to comprehend the graveness of our situation. I know you mourn Gaith. He was my brother, my friend, but if, "Badr clenched his fist, Shoug's gaze landed on it. "We accede to this: there is no turning back. We do not have our elder's blessings: I do not want to become your shield without Sheikh Mubarak's knowledge."

She looked at him, and for the first time since she had arrived, Badr knew Shoug saw him only at that moment. "I understand."

"You need to contemplate more on it, ya Shoug. Once I have your hand, I cannot promise you a home or a stable tribe. I cannot vow you a happy family. I walk on a path of catastrophe, and someday I shall perish in that path."

I will die and have the same death as Gaith, and you shall become my widow. The thought made him swallow hard.

Shoug smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. Her smile resembled the desert land parched for rain, but hadn't she been crying enough? "When I declared that I shall join you, I meant to join your journey for life and death, ya Rashideen. Those monsters didn't just loot my spouse from me; they sent a message to my tribe, to my people, that they can slaughter any woman's man on their wedding, that they can make anyone a widow in a blink of an eye, and that is something I shall not allow, not when I have the Borkan blood running in my veins."

Badr felt his chest elevate with a new sensation; somehow, it resembled pride. Was he proud of the woman in front of him? "Faris can shoulder all those burdens for you, Shoug. You do not need to voyage this dangerous journey. You must find a knight who can pledge you a steady home, a family, your happiness."

Shoug nodded. "Everyone believed Gaith was that man."

Badr bit the corner of his mouth. She was right. A warrior cannot give her a stable family; hence all believed that a merchant was the best suitor for a princess. However, Gaith died, and her dreams vaporized.

Badr lowered from his height a little: he did not want to terrify her; he wanted Shoug to understand the situation. He was desperate. Raghad did not have this luxury, and he had witnessed his sibling weep for moons before Faris unveiled that he had operated the enemy to shield his spouse.

If she marries Badr, they will not have a tribe, a house where they would get to know each other and assemble a future: it will be the open sky and death at every step.

"Very well, bint-al-halal, I ask you for the last time. Shoug, the moment I cross the boundaries of this tribe, death will knock on my door in a deadly form. My men and I will fight it as long as our swords allow it. I cannot promise you security. I cannot promise you a single smile on your face, "Badr took another step towards her. "However, if you still wish to accompany me; and be my spouse, I shall hear it from you."

If Badr thought his heart was beating fast before, now he felt it would rip his chest and claw at his bones. Every fiber in his being; pulsed with trepidation, with anticipation.

Badr was scared.

Shoug closed her eyes, and a tear dripped down her right cheek. "Yes, I consent for you to be my mahram."

"Then I greet you in my journey to demise," Badr whispered, feeling his heart tear with each vocalized word.

**

Faris came to a standstill where he stood; Badr stared at the knight and could see the anguish Faris attempted to conceal. He held Shoug's hand again just as Fahad, Khalid, and Abdulrahman stood around Badr and Shoug.

There were three reasons why Badr incautiously agreed to wed Faris's sister. On the fifth day of Gaith's death, Badr acquired a formidable message from one of his men who he had stationed around these lands. Harib, the man Omer claimed to be his sibling, the thief behind Badr's misfortune, was seen taking sanctuary in one of the oases not far from Souk Al layl, and Badr was burning to catch up to them. Shoug's presence had hindered them for a whole day; Badr could not afford another day frittered.

The other reason he impulsively consented to wed Faris's mourning sister was his little army of knights. They had witnessed Shoug approach another tribe, another man in the dead of the night, unaccompanied. Her virtue now hung from an invisible thread; if Badr had not placed a roof over Shoug's head, the desert would challenge her righteousness: her devotion to Gaith, which was something Badr would rather perish than permit.

Faris and Badr knew this unfortunate truth, hence Faris's reluctant blessings on this hurried matrimony. Shoug had done enough damage to her image, and the knights had no other alternative but to lean to this one.

Then again: there was something else deep down inside Badr's heart that compelled him to agree to marry Shoug, something he did not wish to accept or verbalize. The moment when he had gazed into Shoug's eyes, Badr felt the roaring rage in his heart lull to a melody sung far away in the desert lands. He had once desired to have her alongside him, and now when Shoug had asked, Badr agreed.

Why did he consent?

He did it for Gaith. Badr needed to avenge his friend's tyrannical assassination.

Standing on the hill where the surface was flat, Shoug stood next to her pillar, Faris. Fahad and Khalid stood next to Abdulrahman, and Badr stood in the middle across from Shoug. Badr's knights stood at the bottom of the hill with Jabber and Khalfan.

The sky had turned darker, and soon the call to prayer would sound from the tribe. Abdulrahman looked at Badr, then at Faris. "Shall we commence?"

Faris looked at his sister for the last time, giving her another chance to step back and return to the Borkan tribe. Shoug did not meet his gaze, and he inhaled. "Tawakkalna."

Badr noticed how Faris's hand brought Shoug closer to him. Abdulrahman looked towards Shoug; he did not look at her: but his eyes were somewhat between the space between Faris and Shoug's shoulders. "Binty, Shoug, before we proceed, I must ask if you have any requests for your mahr?"

Faris moved his head to his right and looked down at his sister. Badr moved his gaze from Abdulrahman to the woman he was to wed. Silence sharpened its sword. "The death of the man behind my misfortune would be my mahr." As she pronounced those words, Badr's body coiled.

This marriage will never prevail. Badr did not wish to pair with her in these circumstances, and Shoug wanted to marry Badr so she could bathe her hands in blood. Badr clenched his jaw. He vowed to himself to gift Shoug her mahr no matter how gruesome it may be, even if it cost him his life.

A small, burdened smile sewed his lips, he had once wished to give his bride one of the finest horses in the Arab lands as mahr and jewels from Yemen, but Badr never envisioned that blood would be his mahr to his bride.

Ya, Allah!

A startled Abdulrahman looked at Badr, his eyes wide. Badr nodded for the man to carry on, for it was Shoug's right to avenge Gaith. Abdulrahman started the ceremony by reciting a few chapters from the Quran: once he finished, he gave a short sermon expressing the significance of marriage; and its holiness in Islam, the rights Badr had on Shoug and her rights on Badr. Abdulrahman then started stating the responsibilities the bride and groom had if they were to accept this marriage.

When Abdulrahman moved to Shoug, Badr looked down, refusing to meet Khalid's gaze, who sought him out, attempting to understand his sibling. The world around him dimmed as Shoug, with Faris's help, replied to imam Abdulrahman quietly. Even though Badr's world had blackened, he could hear Shoug's soft voice.

Then Abdulrahman moved his body to Badr. "Badr Rashideen, son of Sheikh Faisal, leader of the Rashideen tribe, do you accept Shoug Mubarak, daughter of Sheikh Mubarak as your spouse?"

At that moment, a sudden weight landed on Badr's shoulders; it felt as if he stood against a deadly sandstorm forcing him back, strangling him. A shiver ran down his spine; he clenched his jaw so tight that blood threatened to coat the side of his teeth; swallowing, he nodded. "I have accepted her in my marriage." His voice did not belong to him.

Abdulrahman asked him again; Badr refused to look at Shoug or the all-seeing Faris. He permitted his gaze to land on his brother, Khalid, who saw him like a mirror. Badr replied the second time, and when Abdulrahman asked for the last time, Badr's head felt like it would burst at any moment. When he gave his final response, sweat coated his fists.

Badr exhaled, not knowing he had stopped breathing. Indeed, he was not frightened of marriage; or the notion of having a spouse. It was the circumstances that made him feel so wretched. Was all his happiness going to unfurl in this form? Was this his retribution for not protecting his father?

The men lifted their hands in prayer as imam Abdulrahman recited prayers and blessed the bride and groom. Badr frowned, and unknowingly his eyes moved to Shoug, and he saw her weeping silently. Faris removed his hand from her, then wrapped his sister in his arms.

Badr looked up at the night sky, his throat dry. Gaith, what have I done? Blinking, Badr pushed his shoulders back. There was no turning back now; Shoug was in the same hell as him now.

Khalid came to embrace him so quickly that Badr did not see it. "I don't know why you are doing it. I do not understand," Khalid whispered in his ear.

Badr gave his brother's back a pat. "You should give me your blessings, ya Khalid."

Khalid did not pull back. "What will I tell mother?"

Badr sucked in a sharp breath. "Tell her; her Badr brought home a bride."

"I apologize, Badr. I can never help you. I can never understand you. I wish I could aid you." Khalid's voice quivered.

Badr pulled back for that moment; Faris's gaze landed on them, Shoug still engulfed in his embrace. "For now, brother, protect our tribe," Badr lightly smacked Khalid's chest, a stoic smile on his face. "Now, give me your blessings."

Khalid shook his head, his eyes brimming with sorrow that resembled Badr's. "How much more are you willing to shoulder? We both know," Khalid dropped his voice so that only Badr would hear. "Shoug is not thinking straight. Despite all that transpired between her and Gaith, you still wish to lessen the burden on her. When did you become so selfless, ya Badr?"

"Someone had to be." Badr attempted to smile.

"Let me help you," Khalid asked.

Badr shook his head. "You are needed here more than in the desert. Besides, I believe; mother would request you to narrate what occurred here more than a dozen times so her heart can rest."

Badr put his hand on Khalid's shoulder. "Once we depart, send Shoug's dowry to the Borkan tribe. I do not want to be the man who turned a blind eye to her insane proposition," Khalid nodded. "Return to the tribe, pray your maghrib, and bring me clothing for her. The Borkan does not have any belongings with her."

"I will request Fatma to pack everything for Shoug." Khalid took a step back and moved down the hill swiftly.

Abdulrahman shook Badr's hand, gave his blessings to the bride and groom, and asked permission from Faris and Badr to depart. Once the imam went down the same path as Khalid, silence greeted them. Badr looked at Faris, and the knight of knights looked back, his gaze calculating.

"A brother never wishes his sibling to wed in secret and hurriedly," Faris started. "However, Shoug did not give us many choices," as he said those words, Faris took a step forward. "It has always been my obligation to protect my siblings, but now Shoug belongs to you, ya Badr, in the name of Allah. I do not think I have to ask you to shield her."

"Just as you guarded Raghad, Shoug will be protected the same."

A smile tugged at Faris's lips when Badr mentioned Raghad. "I would have my men send me letters of your ventures, but now that the pearl of the Borkan is alongside you, I demand a letter every moon."

On any other day, Badr would have laughed at Faris's demand; Badr nodded. "You have my word." He had taken countless oaths today. Would he be able to keep them?

Unlike the time; when Faris accepted Raghad as his spouse, Badr threatened him, and Faris stood against those threats without any fear. However, now he was a companion, a brother-in-law displaying apprehension for his friend; and his sister. Badr knew Faris felt torn between his duties, and just like Badr, they both allowed the torrent of time to take its course.

Both were out of options, or else Badr knew Faris would tear the desert to find a solution for the tribulation caused by the person standing next to him with her eyes on the ground, tears licking her cold cheeks.

"I must return now, for Sheikh Mubarak: and his tribe await news of their daughter," Faris moved to look at Shoug. "I would remain here for a few days to ensure what is to come drifts smoothly, but I am certain Badr has to commence his journey, and we have delayed it enough for him."

Shoug nodded and lifted her head to look at Faris. "Tell father this is my decision and path."

Faris closed his eyes at the naivety of his sister. Did she ponder that because she wished Badr to marry her, and Faris agreed? The matter was not because of her decision or choices; it was the consequences of her unplanned, reckless actions.

Shoug could have generated another war between the Rashideen and Borkan. Her presence in the dead of night in another tribe could indicate sinful acts, and many wolves were lurking in Borkan and Rashideen tribes to lunge on that opportunity.

If only Shoug knew before materializing in front of Badr!

Faris opened his eyes and beamed at Shoug. "Do not fret about Sheikh Mubarak; I shall unleash my son on him, and he will soften," a dark look entered Faris's face, and Badr understood that the knight of knights endeavored his best to handle Shoug's fragile mind. "You give me your word, Shoug, that you will slit the throat of the man responsible for this."

Shoug nodded, and Badr knew she could not muster any words to utter. Faris turned to him. Eagle of knights nodded another unspoken oath. It was then the call to prayer sounded. "Let us pray," Badr said, stepping away from them. Faris and Badr stood in the front; while Shoug stood behind and prayed, silent tears escaping her eyes.

The sky smeared its dark ink on the horizon as the three prayed, accompanied by the dumbfounded wind. It did not know if Shoug would ever be able to forget the merchant who caused her to journey at night, disregarding her virtue and permitting Badr in her heart.

The wind swayed, and Shoug wrapped her scarf tighter around herself. It unfurled a chill in the night, well aware it was the pain that Badr enveloped in his heart that echoed in the wind.

The vast desert awaited the Borkan's pearl, with its hazards and depths that swarm with lethal scorpions, thirsty wolves, and savage men ready to sink their talons into flesh and feast on them.

Let the journey to death commence.

**

For some unknown reason, this chapter was hard to write, I literally had writer's block and had to sit outside in the cold to write it. Perhaps, it's the nikah part!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

P.S. I love reading the comments :)