A/N Hello guys I am back! For me it's still Wednesday... does that count? haha anyways I wrote another chapter, and please forgive me if there are grammar errors because rn it's 11.30pm which means I haven't had any sleep since 37 hours ago. So yea, updat for you and i hope you like it :) thanks for reading ^^ 

“Uhm,” Cas started. “As you know, Metatron was about to close the doors of heaven, which meant all the angels on Earth couldn’t go to heaven and all the angels in heaven couldn’t go to Earth. A lot of angels chose heaven, their home. They would stay safe there once the gates were closed.

I chose to stay on Earth, because not many angels still fancy me that much after my rebellion. And besides, my home is with you two,” he added.

Sam and Dean smiled before Cas went on. It was good to know that at least somebody trusted them enough to call it home.

“I was about to zap to you, but you were on a case so I couldn’t find you right away. I decided to wait at the bunker, when suddenly the Earth began to shake. Only the angels could feel it, it was a sign of Metatron.

Every angel had one last chance to choose heaven or Earth. I was just outside the bunker when an angel appeared in front of me. It was a stronger angel than me, and he brought me to some really dark place in the woods.

I didn’t know who the angel was, and I didn’t know where we were either. The angel then slit my throat and stole my grace, I tried to fight him but he was so strong.

He told me this was my punishment for rebelling again heaven, and every other thing I had done wrong. Once he got my grace, I didn’t feel the shaking any more.

I was cold, hungry… and human.” Cas didn’t say anything for a moment, reliving it all again.

“The angel took my phone, my grace and left me in the woods. I tried to find help but I was all alone. After I had walked for days, I found some place where I could eat and call but I didn’t know your number.

I’ve been homeless for days, stealing food and sleeping on the streets, until this woman appeared. She was really nice, giving me food to eat.

When it was dark, I saw the woman again. She took me with her to her house where she made me more food and after that I fell asleep on the bed.

The bed was nice, comfortable and I slept the whole night and throughout the next day. When I woke up at 4pm, she was still there, telling me to get a shower.

Once I was done showering, I had some trouble with the buttons on my shirt, so I asked her to help me.” Cas looked over at Dean and smiled lightly. Sam did notice it, but decided not to comment on it.

“She started buttoning my shirt, but noticed something, I don’t know what. She touched my chest, and I wondered what she was doing so I wanted to ask her.

I don’t know what I did wrong, but suddenly she was kissing me, and I pushed her away. She didn’t like that but I was hungry. I just left my shirt open and sat at the table. She smiled and told me it was okay.

After dinner we just watched some TV, and I was still tired so I said I went to bed. I put off my shirt and fell asleep.

When I woke up, the woman was standing over me, dressed in some pair of clothes which I don’t even know the name of. She started touching me again, and tried to kiss me, but I was so tired.

She asked if I didn’t want to know what was underneath that piece of cloth. I said I already knew she was hiding her breasts, and asked if I could go back to sleep. Suddenly, she was so angry, shouting a me, she accused me of all kinds of things.

She said I should’ve told her I didn’t want anything, and then she told me to leave. I just put on my shirt, shoes and coat and when I was at the door she yelled one last thing to me, which I still don’t understand.  

‘Don’t look and act that way of you weren’t planning on something’, she said. I don’t know what she meant.”

Dean couldn’t help but choke on his beer from laughter. “So a woman kicked you out, because you didn’t want sex?” He really felt sorry for Cas, but he couldn’t stop laughing.

“I don’t understand, Dean. What did she mean?” Cas was still confused.

Sam grinned, trying to hold back his laughter. “Well, when you don’t button up your shirt, it looks kinda sexy, I guess?” he explained.

“But I couldn’t do it myself! And I don’t even know what I did wrong that second night. Why’d she kick me out?”

“Because,” Sam started. He snorted, still trying not to laugh.

“Because when men say they go to bed early, they most likely don’t mean they want to sleep,” Dean finished for him. He knew Sam wouldn’t hold it together if he tried to explain it further.

“And how was I supposed to know that?” Cas asked innocently.

“Humanity, Cas. Humanity and experience.”

“Hm,” Cas nodded and went on. “After that, I went to the street again, and walked until I found some shop. I got a job there, at the Gas ‘N Sip. Since I was the last one to leave, I decided to sleep there because it was a lot warmer than the streets.

I got myself a sleeping bag and toothpaste, and that’s how I spend those few weeks until you found me when you were on that case.”

The three of them went silent, all thinking about the moment they saw each other again after such a long time.

Sam and Dean were on a case, hunting something, as always. This time, it was a vamp’s nest.

They were on their way to the nest when Dean went to stop at the Gas ‘N Sip, almost out of gas. They also needed some food for the time they had to wait. He tanked and went inside the store, where he grabbed pie, some crackers and some healthy stuff for Sam.

When he went to pay, the cashier, wearing a white button up with some ugly blue vest, stood with his back to Dean.

“Erm…” Dean said, looking at the small name tag on the counter. “Steve? I would like to pay.”

The man’s shoulder’s tensed, he knew that voice all too well, and turned around.

“Cas?!” Dean yelled.

“Dean! you’re here! I’m so gl-“ his words were muted by Dean, who had pulled Cas into a tight hug.

When they walked outside, Sam and Cas shared a hug too, which was pretty funny to see since Sam was about 4 inches taller.

They agreed Cas would work his shift and Dean and Sam would pick him up after they got the job done.

It went as said, and that’s how Cas ended up with Dean in the motel room.

“Well,” Dean said. “That was not the best time you’ve ever had, but we’re happy you are now back here with us.”

Cas looked a bit worried. “But Dean, I’m none of use. I have no angel ‘mojo’ so I’m as useful as Steve from Gas ‘N Sip.”

But Sam shook his head, causing his hair to swoosh into his eyes. “Even without your mojo, we’re glad you’re here. You’re still Cas, our friend,” he said.

“And besides,” Dean added. “The bunker is literally the safest place any human could be, and I’d sleep a lot better knowing you won’t be getting smitten or anything.”

They drank another beer together, and Sam decided to go to bed. “Good night, guys.”

“Night, Sammy,” Dean replied.

When Sam was gone, Cas thought this was a good moment to start the conversation he wanted to have for a while. “Dean,” he began, sighing deep.

“What’s it?” Dean said, knowing Cas wanted to talk about something serious.

“Dean, in the car… your conversation with Sam, I overheard it. I didn’t mean to but I couldn’t sleep anymore and I didn’t want to interrupt you two. I heard everything you said.” He looked down at the table, not knowing how Dean would react to this.

Dean said nothing, and just looked at Cas for a while before replying, choosing his words carefully. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.” He finally said. “Why did you bring it up anyways?”

“No,” he said, as he saw Cas’ face. “No, Cas, that is not gonna happen.” He almost got angry again.

“But Dean, I want to help. I can help! I don’t want to be useless,” Cas explained, but Dean still hadn’t removed the unpleasant look from his face. He sighed and tried to calm himself down, for Cas’ sake.

“Cas,” he said, his voice much softer. “Cas, I lost so many people already. Everyone I care about dies, even Sammy. I can’t lose you too, Cas. I won’t be able to go on with my life; I wouldn’t know what to do.

I need you, Cas, please.” Dean’s eyes were pleading. “If you are gonna be a hunter, I have to protect both you and Sammy at the same time. I can’t do that; I couldn’t even protect Sam at times…

I can’t lose either of you, you’re my family. Please accept this, Cas. Please.”

Cas looked at him, right into the bright green eyes. He leaned in and gave Dean a slow kiss, letting Dean know he wasn’t angry.

“Okay,” he whispered. “I won’t be going anywhere.”