Of course, they couldn’t expect everything was back to normal as soon as Cas saw Dean’s face.

 And that’s why they were sitting down at the dinner table, Cas, Dean, Sam and Charlie. Dean sat next to Cas, but there was space between them and he looked like a total wreck.

It was 3 days after they had all come back. 3 days and Cas still hadn’t changed. He hadn’t talked to Dean, hadn’t touched him, and most of his time, he was just… somewhere.

Dean could remember it all perfectly. One moment, he had woken up, lying on the couch, seeing the most important people sit with him: Sam, Cas and Charlie. The next moment, he had woken up and he was alone. It was dark already, and Dean felt guilty for just falling asleep after what happened to Cas.

He had searched around the bunker, Cas’ room first, then his own. When Cas wasn’t there he moved on to the kitchen, the library, and all the other rooms Cas could possibly be. After 20 minutes, sitting with his head on his hands on the edge of his bed, he realized Cas was an angel again. And so, he prayed.

“Cas, I don’t know if you’re busy right now, but… if you are free, can you come by?”

He heard the familiar swoosh of wings and opened his eyes to see Cas standing. Cas looked broken.

“Hiya, Cas,” Dean said.

“Hello, Dean.”

God, he had missed that.

“What did you need me for?”

“Are you busy?”

“No.”

Something was off about him.

“Alright… do you need anything?”

“Dean, I am an angel, I can take care of myself again,” Cas replied.

Dean was silent for a moment. “Do you want to spend the night here?” he finally asked, not sure how Cas would react.

“I don’t sleep.”

That hurt. When Cas had been human, he had leaned on Dean. He needed Dean to teach him how to function, how to keep himself clean, how to not overcome as a giant asshole. And now, Cas was an angel. An angel who was perfectly able to take care of himself and didn’t need Dean any more.

Dean let his head drop down and sighed. “If you want to, you know you’re always welcome here, right?” He looked at his hands, folded in his lap.

“Of course, Dean. Good night.” Cas was gone before Dean could even look up.

He sighed again and slowly turned around to his bed, empty as it had been since Cas got captured by Metatron.

Metatron.

Suddenly, Dean thought of Cas’ voice, saying he wasn’t worth anything and how everything was his fault. That son of a bitch! Metatron had clearly been messing with Cas’ head, and Dean didn’t know how long it would take to get Cas back. His own Cas.

He didn’t sleep that night. Neither did he the second night, and the third was as bad. He had been praying to Cas, telling him he was so much more than worth it, saying he’d very much like to have Cas join him. They didn’t need to do anything, Dean just wanted… Cas.

Cas had been gone for weeks, and all the time, Dean had been worried. He had missed Cas like hell, and now Cas was back and he still had to miss him.

Sam and Charlie had seen Dean change from happy to the mess he was now within 3 days. They both knocked on his door every few hours with breakfast, lunch, or dinner. They brought him water, beer and even whiskey. But Dean didn’t touch anything. When he started to turn down the whiskey, Sam and Charlie decided they had to do something about it.

And that’s how they were all sitting around the table, in silence. Charlie just looked between Dean and Cas, finding none of the affection they had before. Sam watched at his hands, which were lying on the table. He seemed to be thinking really hard.

Cas did what he usually did, if he ever was present: staring off in the middle of nowhere, not focusing on anything. he didn’t talk, didn’t move, and he probably didn’t even breathe either.

Dean was sitting next to him, holding back the urge to put a hand on Cas’ arm, to let their knees touch, anything. But he couldn’t. Cas had been so cold to him, he only came when Dean prayed and said goodnight and disappeared again. Dean was fairly sure now that Cas was an angel, he didn’t want to do anything with Dean any more.

Cas had his powers back, Cas could throw Dean against a wall, Cas could hurt Dean with a flick of his wrist. Cas could yell at him, tell him how much Dean had hurt him. But was silent, and that was the part that hurt Dean the most. Cas didn’t want to talk, with anyone. He wouldn’t say what was wrong, and he wouldn’t say how to make it better.

“Cas,” Sam started, his voice croaking after the long silence. “We really want to help you, but you gotta tell us-”

“No,” came Cas’ reply, making Dean flinch.

He wanted to get up, but they had prepared for this. Dean grabbed Cas’ arm, and held him down, looking at Cas’ face, studying any movement. But there wasn’t any. Cas didn’t flinch at Dean’s touch, he didn’t shove Dean’s hand away, he just sat there.

“We could do this the easy or the hard way…” Sam warned Cas once again.

“I don’t want to,” Cas said.

Sam nodded and Charlie lighted up a lighter and before Cas could even realize it, he was trapped in a ring of holy fire. It was the first time he made any movements, his face moved and he scrunched up his nose in disgust.

“We warned you, Cas,” Sam said. “This is the only way we have. We need you, Cas. I need you, Charlie needs you. Dean needs you.”  He walked away, Charlie following quickly, which left Cas and Dean inside the ring of fire.

Dean thought of ways Cas could get out. Maybe Cas had something in his pockets, you never knew it with him and that trench coat. Cas could throw Dean on the fire, using him as a bridge. But Cas stood still, and stared right back into Dean’s eyes.

It was only then, when Dean realized he still held Cas’ arm. As he removed his hand, Cas didn’t move, just kept staring.

“Dean,” he said, and Dean felt his insides melt. “Dean, why are you doing this?”

It was silent. Dean hadn’t spoken all morning and the words were held back in his throat. He coughed once, twice, before finally speaking.

“Cas, I want you back. I need you back.”

Cas shook his head. “This doesn’t work that easily, Dean. What Metatron did to me, will be in my brain for a long time. Unless I reset my own memory, and come back as a new angel.”

“And you… would you do that?” Dean’s voice was shakily.

“No,” Cas said. “I can’t. I have good memories, if I reset them, nothing will be left. Not you, not Sam, not Bobby, not Charlie, not Kevin, no one.” Dean shuddered at the use of Bobby’s and Kevin’s names.

“You gotta trust me, Dean. You said it once, I am your family. I want to be your family, you guys are the only family I have. Soon, it’ll be all over.”

But Dean wasn’t done yet. “Cas, you didn’t say anything besides the formal angel crap past days! You left me alone, you could at least have warned me you were gonna do this!” He felt himself become angrier and angrier and tried to calm down.

“You are family, Cas. That’s why we want to help you, but please, let us. I can’t lose you, not another time. I have lost you so many times already, and every time I think it’s the last time I’ll ever see you again, and I just… I can’t deal with it, Cas.”

Cas was silent for a few minutes. He looked in the direction of the kitchen, but was staring to nothing.

“You won’t, Dean,” he finally said. “Tomorrow, I’ll be okay, I promise.”

Dean looked into his eyes, blue with the orange of the fire reflecting in them. It was beautiful.

“Okay,” he said. “Tomorrow.”

He slowly put handful of sand out of his pocket and swallowed. “Tomorrow,” he finally said.

“Tomorrow,” Cas promises, eyes pleading to be let go.

As soon as Dean put the sand on the fire, Cas disappeared. He sighed and walked out of the fire as well, getting more sand to cover it. For a moment, he thought he felt something on his face, and smiled. Then, he realized Cas hadn’t touched him in three days, and it was probably something else. His smile faded away as he covered the fire.

He went to bed straight after, curling up under the covers and pressing his face into his pillow. With Cas’ promise, he’d be able to sleep again.

Sadly, his brain didn’t have it that way, and so, Dean replayed the whole talk again. There had been so much sadness into Cas’ eyes, so much hurt. What had Metatron done to him?

All out of sudden, he realized there were tears on his cheeks. Too lazy to wipe them away, he just sniffed and curled himself up even further.

Tomorrow, was his final thought before finally fading away into a deep sleep.

A/N *whispers* maybe 'tomorrow' could be their always (ok I'll leave)

oooOooOoooOo trouble in paradise! Or not.... whO KNOWS (me heheheh)*moon emoji*

Anyways I hope you liked this chapter, only a few more and then this story will be over *sobs quietly*

BUT DON'T WORRY BC I'M ALREADY WORKING ON THE PLOT LINE OF ANOTHER FANFIC (it's an AU yay) *happy noises*