*July 2018*

Happiness is like a puzzle set where each piece are your words and choices while the image created at the end is happiness itself. Our perception of happiness constantly changes which in turn changes our puzzle piece. To me, the end picture has always been using my engineering degree to get work in the US and living their with my family. I've worked hard to get those puzzle pieces and lay them all out in the correct position but fate has a way of playing with people.

For now, that puzzle set is set aside in place of another; one where I can provide for my dad's treatment.

"Make sure to call us when you get settled in, okay?" My aunt Dita rambles on and hands me yet another plastic bag full of food for the trip. As if I don't have food packed for the trip already. "At huwag mo kalimutan mga binilin namin sa' yo." (And don't forget all the lessons we taught you.)

Like all Asian women, aunt Dita shows her love through food and nagging to wit's end. Somehow, I've gotten used to all of it.

"Opo, tita. (Yes, auntie) I will. " I nod

"Don't forget to message that Marites there," My uncle Ramon adds. Then, he kisses my cheeks and gives me a tight hug. "Mag-ingat ka parati, Yari. (Be careful always, Yari.)"

"Opo, tito. (Yes, uncle)." I nod.

Uncle Ramon is not the showy type of guy and would show his love through strict teaching. His intimacy only surfaces on rare occasions like this.

"Be careful there, ate (older sister), My younger brother, Leon, gives me a tight hug. I'm so sad that I'll be missing some of his most important teenage years but this is all for him and our family. "I'll teach them how to use Skype."

"Yes. Don't forget to remind daddy to drink his medicine, alright? Don't concentrate on your friends but study well." I ruffle his hair.

Leon is going through his teenage years and he's in a stage where every physical sign of love from a family member is considered too much. But tonight, he lets it pass and let me hug him one last time.

"Alright, go inside already or you'll miss your flight!" My uncle announces and holds my aunt's hand.

I look at them one last time and commit their faces to memory then enter back inside with a wave of goodbye. They give their warmest smiles and biggest waves but I can clearly see the sadness in their eyes. It's already six in the evening and the cold June winds of Manila coupled with the airport's heavy blasting air conditioners give little warmth to my body. I snuggle my hoodie a little tighter and continue to walk on.

A wave of sadness and excitement fills my heart as I walk to the boarding gates. I've already checked in my luggage and my carry on backpack is secured in my back. All I need to do is wait for the boarding gates to open at seven thirty in the evening and I'm ready to leave the country I grew up in. At twenty one years old, this would be the first time ever that I will be riding a plane on my own and already a foreign country at that. If it were up to me, I would be going there for travel and leisure but reality isn't like that. Practicality always supersede passion.

Once I get to the waiting area of the boarding gate, I sit on one of the metal chairs lined up. There are only a few vacant seats left so I make my way to the less crowded side and sit beside a woman in her early thirties who's talking to someone on her phone. A bout of nervous feelings accumulate in my stomach and I start to incessantly tap my shoes on the floor.

To distract myself, I take my phone from my pocket and take a picture of the surroundings. I'm no pro but I've always loved taking pictures. Standing up, I walk to the glass window of the boarding area and take pictures of the airplanes and the ramp outside.

The flickering lights of the runway and the airplanes absorb my focus and attention and I take numerous pictures of the place. After taking my fair share of photos, I stash my phone back inside my pocket and sit cross-legged on the carpeted floor and watch the airport ground officers performing their jobs below. They distract me for a good amount of time until I hear an announcement coming from the desk beside the double doors of my boarding gate.

"Flight LHR451 on Airbus A330-300 flying from Manila to London Heathrow is ready for boarding. The elderly, people with disabilities, and passengers flying with a pregnant woman and or an infant will be given priority to board first," A young woman's voice announces. "Again, flight LHR451 on Airbus A330-300 flying from Manila to london Heathrow is ready for boarding. The elderly, people with disabilities, and passengers flying with a pregnant woman and or an infant will be given priority to board first."

It's already been two hours already? My heart beats faster so I take my phone and give my dad a call. He answers after one ring and my heart just beats faster.

"Daddy, nagpapapasok na po sila. (Daddy, they're starting to let passengers in)" I say as I fish for my plane ticket in my bag.

"Alright, don't forget what I taught you, alright?," His usual loud voice answers. "It's not even a month since you graduated yet you already left. If only I got—"

"Daddy, I'm okay. I will change jobs after my contract that is related to my degree. I'll save money so that I can bring you guys here." I give my best reassuring voice.

"Alright, be careful there, okay? Call us imediately once you arrive at the house you'll be working for. Don't forget to eat always and pray!" I hear his ever strong and in control words until a moment of silence fills the air. "Continue there what you really like to do."

The man immediately hangs up. I know what he means by saying his last statement and I feel hot tears prickle my eyes because of this. I also know that he's just controlling his self but the reason why I'm leaving is still gutting her.

Wiping my tears, I take a huge breath and sigh. So this is really it for me. I'll hopefully see this country again after what, a couple of years? I don't know. But, I'm excited for this journey up ahead of me.

I post a picture of the tarmac on my social media and fall in line along with the people going in. One by one, each passenger present their boarding pass and ticket. When I reach the front, I give it to the lady working on the desk. She checks the ticket and scans it in some sort of bar code scanner and hands it back.

"Enjoy your trip!" She gives a warm smile.

I give my thanks and enter the double doors. Walking along with the rest if passengers, we pass through the hall going through the airplane's entrance. Manila's dark starless sky matches my feelings—uncertainty. It will be my first adult thing to do but I'm ready. I need to be ready.

At the entrance of the airplane, a couple of flight attendants welcome us inside. I look for my seat that's thankfully in the middle part of the cabin and a window seat on the right side of the plane. Two other flight attendants help other passengers store away their luggage while I shimmy to my seat past a couple in their fifties. Finally, I sit down and put my back pack on my feet. I could store this in the overhead storage bin but I'm the type of person who fears that something might be stolen in their bag so I always keep it in a place where I see it.

One by one, the seats fill up and the sound inside the cabin becomes louder. Passengers walk to and fro the ever so small path in between the seats and others chatter with their friends or family. As for me, I check the travel magazines in the pocket in front of me and read through the pages.

My heart feels like it's pumping at irregular beats and a feeling I can't name comes back again in my stomach. I welcome the feeling and let it stay because I know I'll have this for a very long time. The feelings increases more as I see that the number of people storing away their luggage have already dwindled and a lot of the people are already on their seats.

The numbers start to lessen further until there's no passenger standing anymore except for the four flight attendants. I see two of them checking each overhead cabin one last time then leave to walk to their preparation area. This is really it. I will be leaving my home country.

To calm myself, I bury my thoughts on the travel magazines and read a fun article about a trip to Boracay here in the Philippines. I'm so engrossed in reading that I didn't notice that the flight attendants are giving their demo already. I only did when I heard the sound of the clicking of the seat belt buckles.

Looking up, I see that there are two flight attendants in the far front demonstrating the safety precautions in the airplane. A lot of people tend to ignore them but I for one focus on them. I have this internal anxiety of experiencing a plane crash so I do my best to focus and listen attentively so I'll know what to do to survive. I take the illustration card in the front pocket in front of me and look at it as I follow along with the flight attendants.

Once they're done, I place back the card in the pocket and look at the window. I can see the night sky and the tarmac. Down below, I see the ground airplane officers walking away from the airplane I'm riding. I return back my eyes to the sky and savor my last night here.

Suddenly, the sound of the airplane engine roaring fills the cabin and I feel a smile creep in my face. After a couple of minutes, I see the plane move backwards and the feeling inside my stomach just grows bigger. The aircraft turns around and starts following the path of the runway and takes a left as it follows the path. It stops for a second once the whole plane reaches the other side until slowly, it moves forward. The airplane picks up speed while the sound of the engine flares until we reach the end of the runway and become airborne.

The plane ascends and ascends and I look at the window to see buildings and structures turning smaller and smaller until they're all just tiny dots. After several minutes, a chiming sound inside the cabin signals that we are finally on a cruising altitude. I take off my seat belt and breath a sigh of relief. The large screen in front of the cabin opens and it shows the route that the plane will be taking.

I've always loved travelling and my insides become giddy from the thought of getting to explore a foreign land. The travel magazines in front only increase this feeling further. I immerse myself in other magazines and read about the different places to travel to.

Once I'm done with every magazine in the pocket, I put on my earphones, connect it to my phone and listen to some music as I wait for sleep to come to me. While I am chilling, I press the button to call for the flight attendant. One of them, a friendly looking guy in a suit and a name tag, approaches. I request for a blanket and eye mask and he nods.

The guy comes back quickly with a folded blue blanket inside a resealable see through plastic. On top of it is the eye mask.

"Thank you. " I smile.

"You're welcome, ma'am. Press the button again if you need anything. " He replies then walks away back to their station.

I remove the plastic and place it in the pocket in front of me then drape the blanket over myself. I go on a routine of sleeping, waking up to eat the food served, bathroom breaks, then sleep again. The routine goes for a good fifteen hours until I can't sleep anymore and found seating very uncomfortable now. So, I stand up and shimmy past the woman and man beside me then walk to the doors of the plane so I can stretch my feet.

It feels good to stand up again and feel my legs. I do a couple of squats, arm and leg exercises, then stand there for a good fifteen minutes. After doing so, I head for the bathroom to freshen up and change. I change from my sweat pants to jeans and a hoodie.

From my research and lessons in school, London is cold despite its summer weather. So, this island girl must prepare.

Once done, I return back to my seat and put on some makeup. I was told by the agency that I will be picked up by one of the other household helpers of the owner so I've got to look decent. After finishing with my look, I fish through my phone the details of the household help. I commit to memory her name and features: Marites, small kind face, short bob, brown skin, and a fellow Filipina.

There is only an hour left to the plane ride and I look out the window to see that we're still above the clouds. I'd love to see England for the first time with my very own eyes! My heart starts to beat a little faster again so I listen to music to calm myself. The voice of my favorite Filipino performers soothe my nerves and I let it carry my feelings away.

The music was really helpful but the sound of the pilot's voice suddenly echoes above us.

"Good morning everyone. This is Captain Oliver Azares with Co-captain Wally Garcia and right now, we are on cruising altitude of thirty five thousand feet above land," A smooth baritone voice announces. "In approximately twenty minutes, we will be landing at London Heathrow Airport. Right now, the weather in London, England is sunny with twenty percent chance of raining. For our passengers, we hope you had an enjoyable ride. Thank you for  choosing to fly with Philippine Airlines. Mabuhay!"

The sound turns off and a myriad of voices start to rise as the message of arriving becomes clear to them. People start to wake up from their slumber and I hear excited voices of kids talking to their parents as well as some adults planning on what to do when they arrive. As promised, after fifteen minutes, the plane starts to descend. I look at the window and see the airplane leaving the clouds and out of it erupts the afternoon sky. Down below were buildings and landscape that I've only seen on movies or the internet.

The buildings become bigger and bigger while my heart matches its beat by beating louder and louder. I feel my lips curve upward and immediately, I take my phone and capture this moment along with this beautiful view.

The plane finally reaches the airport and lands perfectly on the runway. Everybody claps and the overall atmosphere in the cabin brightens. I breathe a sigh of relief and nervousness kicks in. This is it. I'm going to be working as a housekeeper.

"Just two years, Yari. Just two years," I whisper to myself. "After that, you're going back to the Engineering industry."

The plane parks in its designated terminal and screeches to a halt. My feelings become heavier as the signal to remove the seat belt turns on. Would my boss be terrifying? Can I adjust quickly? Where will the Asian supermarket be located? So many thoughts and questions pop in my head as I file up to get out of the plane.

One by one, we leave the aircraft as the flight attendants greets us goodbye. Each one gives their well wishes and a smile to boot. I pass the exit tunnel and instantly feel scared. I've researched about the airport days before my flight and already committed to memory the procedures but I feel like it's all gone down the drain.

We go down this tunnel then ride up an escalator. Once we reach the top, a glass wall protects us from below and my eyes turn wide at the sheer amount of people of all races and ages walking down on the other side. I follow the path to another escalator that descends and follow one of the lines for the screening of the immigration officer. The line goes smoothly until it's my turn with the officer. Thankfully, I manage to answer all the questions without choking and pass.

"Welcome to London." The immigration offer greets then gives her focus to the person behind me.

"Thank you." I give a shy smile and pass through.

I walk to the baggage claiming area and look for my suitcases—2 large black ones each with brown Hogwarts bagtagsand take them from the rotating belt. It takes me several minutes to find them but I finally do then walk towards the exit where I am supposed to meet Marites. Before I forget, I connect to the WiFi and send her a message through Facebook.

Good afternoon, miss Marites. This is Mayari Salvacruz, the new hired housekeeper. I've arrived already and got my luggage. I will be walking towards the arrival area.

I'm mesmerized by the interior of the airport and take numerous shots as I walk. I take a selfie too and send it to the family group chat. There are no replies from them so I check the time there. Dad's probably watching his morning show and my little brother's getting ready for school. Meanwhile, I get a reply from miss Marites.

I am at the arrival area wearing a white blouse and blue cardigan.

I text her back immediately.

Alright po. I'm almost there.

I arrive at the place and look for the woman until I see her beside the railings looking at my direction. I wave at her and she notices me. The woman walks to the other side and I meet her there halfway. Looking closer, Marites has a shorter stature of about 5 feet and looks like she's already in her early forties. She greets me with a hug and I reciprocate her gesture.

"Mayari?" She asks and I nod. "How was your flight? Maayos naman ba? (Was it alright?)"

"It was okay po, miss Marites" I reply back with my lips curved upward as we shake hands. "Matagal po ba kayo naghintay? (Did you wait long here?)"

"Not that long, iha(Young lady). Please, just call me tita Tess. (Aunt Tess)."

She takes one of the suitcases and walks to the other direction. Marites is very quick for her age and I follow her behind. Despite her height and size, she exudes the aura of warm confidence like a woman with a business.

"It's good that you wore your jacket," She looks back at me. "It's not like the Philippines where it's hot and sunny. Here, it's still cold and mostly raining. Very rare when it is sunny."

I casually nod and agree with her. Once outside, I'm smacked with the cold dry air despite the sun shining brightly above the sky. It's a different kind of cold that I have never experienced before and I warm myself further by rubbing my arms. Mentally though, I pat myself on the back for preparing for this weather.

Tita Tess leads the way to the line of black airport cabs until he stops at one. A fellow Filipino comes out of the driver's seat and helps us put the suitcases in the trunk. He's a short portly man probably the same age as Tita Tess.

"Salamat, (Thank you) Ed." Tita Tess smiles at the guy as she motions for me to get inside the cab.

I follow the woman's orders and sit at the back. She follows suit and the driver rides back in the driver's seat.

"Walang ano man, Tess. Siya ba yung bagong kasambahay sa inyo? (No problem, Tess. Is she the new housekeeper in your place?)" The driver asks in the same Ilonggo accent as hers.

"Oo siya. (Yup, it's her)."

"Bring her with you to the meeting this Sunday," The man maneuvers his way out of the place and onto the streets of London. "Welcome to London! Ed nga pala, iha. (My name's Ed, young lady)

"Mayari, po. Salamat po. (Thank you.)" I reply shyly.

Tita Tess and Ed continue to converse but I get lost in thought while looking at the window. Everything is so foreign. This will be a hard two years but I assure myself that once it is done, I will go back to Engineering.

•••
For context: The word po (pronounced as pöh) in Tagalog language is added at the end to be polite and as a means of respect when talking to elders. Also, tita is a Tagalog word which means aunt while tito is uncle. It is used as a sign of respect as well like you treat that person as part of your family.