"muuaaahhh....biwi yaar you are sooo soft and tempting...like I just can't get over you ever" Sidharth says as he rests on Shehnaaz's chest after a long overdue streamy love making session. His fingers softly still tickle her belly just around her belly button. He plants few kisses with the audible smack her on her chest just near her heart that linger a little long. And he smiles mischievously as he softly says in his husky voice "Shehnaaz can we like....you know...once more...plzz naa baby"

Not finding her answer anything, he kisses her heart again "hmmm...bol naa...haan yaaa naaaa...is your silence a yes...say yaar Shehnaaz....it has been sooo long...baby bol na kuch please".

Shehnaaz still doesn't say anything and he thinks she is asleep. As he lifts his face off her chest pulling it up to look at her, he finds her eyes reddened and tears that flow as she has nipped her lower lip to stop herself.

Her tears have always dreaded Sid. He knows she doesn't cry easily unless something really bothers her or she is hurt "oyeeee.... Shehnaaz...baby...kyu ro rahi hai....mazak kar raha tha...zaroori nahi hai once more...wo to itne time baad...I mean...pagal samjhaya hai naa pehle bhi ki ur no won't hurt me...baby...kya ho gaya....kyu ro rahi hai.... Come here...aaja chipak jaa" he envelopes her in his arms pulling the duvet over them to cover her. He picks up his t-shirt from the floor that was strewn carelessly and makes her wear it by himself.

Softly wipes her tears with his thumbs. He has always been the softest one when it comes to his Shehnaaz. His anger, his hurt everything melts down with just her one touch. And he has the same power over her. They are quite similar and they know well how to handle the other when in stress or pain.

Today is one such day when Sidharth has got the evening free. Its just a few days away form his first OTT release "BROKEN BUT BEAUTIFUL". Since a couple of weeks, he had been running busy with his hands full with promotions, interviews, dubbing, team meetings, ad shoots and other work commitments. He hadn't got much time to spend with Shehnaaz. Few days when he might have been a little free but his mind was too occupied as it was his OTT debut. He probably thinks that his ignorance has upset Shehnaaz.

"baby...kya huaa....kyu dukhi hai...dekh raha hoon kuch dino se tu bhot low lag rahi hai...I am sorry meri jaan...I know tujhe ignored feel ho raha hoga....ki Sidharth ignore kar raha hai...attention nahi de raha...but trust me aisa bilkul nahi hai... it's just that I am little worked up...stressed out hoon...rather tha ki ye first OTT hai...pata nahi accept kiya jayega yaa nahi....it's big for me...kind of my comeback...baki tu dekh hi rahi hai 15-20 days se kitni mara mari chal rahi hai...to thoda mentally thak gaya tha...that doesn't mean ki tujhe ignore kiya yaa kuch...hai naa....idhar dekh....look at me baby"

Tears still don't stop and Shehnaaz couldn't look him in his eyes while she bites her own lips as her brows frown being emotionally vulnerable almost on the verge of breaking down. This puts Sid in frenzy

"please bol baby...humne decide kiya tha naa... hum baat karenge....bina bat kiye apne man me kuch bhi aise nahi rakhenge...you know naa I will never judge you...hai naa....bol meri jaan".

He knows Shehnaaz is really hurt deep down and after much cajoling when she doesn't say anything, he probably gets the idea.

"shayad I know why are you hurt...not hurt exactly but kuch chubh raha hai...bol de Shehnaaz...bolne se man halka ho jata hai...say it on my face baby...trust me mujhe bilkul bura nahi lagega...apne Sidharth ko nahi bolegi?? Hmm...main to tera hoon naa"

That's when she wails loudly breaking down and hugs him holding the duvet, she shudders and sobs hiding in his chest. While he rubs her back and pulls her more in his arms and covers her protectively. He kisses her forehead and cheeks wiping her tears. He is sad to see her cry. He still gives her time to speak it out and in between her sobs she finally says it

"main nahi dekh sakti tujhe aise"

He asks her softly "kaise baby?? Aise...bina kapdo ke...wo to kitni baar dekh chuki hai..i am hot and sexy....achha jokes apart..kaise nahi dekh sakti? bol"

And she swipes her phone and shows him something what he already knew. There was a video of him kissing his co-actor for his upcoming show "I can't see you aise...aise forehead pe hoti n cheeks pe hoti to thik hai... ye lip to lip...amaaaaa" she again wails.

"muje pata hai tune mujhse pucha tha script me pehle se tha....bataya tha ki aisa hai...lekin nahi dekha jaa raha mujhse...pata hai acting hai... lekin acting me hi sahi, lips to touch hue hai naa...hawa me to nahi ho gayi...mujhe achha nahi lag raha hai...bhot dino se...jab se premier dikhaya tha tune tab se hi...sun ke bhi dukh laga tha...dekh liya to scene jaa hi nahi raha dimag se....itne dino se koshish kar rahi hoon....naa sochu but kya karu...nahi nikal raha dimag se mere.....aaj tune jab...jab...wo..jab mujhe kiss kiya to mujhe laga main bhi aisi hi hoon...acting hi hai...koi value nahi hai meri....kyuki same uske sath bhi to kiya tha naa....jo bhi hai teri friend co-actor...main uske jaisi same hoon naa Sidhartttt....kya difference hai fir mujhme...muje kar kiss jaa usko ja kisi aur ko"

She spits out what her heart had been tormented with. He knew this would come up. It's natural to feel that way. No matter how professional they get, somethings still would always bother their better halves back home. Even though they stay loyal it still bothers and is so human as she is feeling currently. He takes a deep breath and holds her face in his big palms. It fits so perfectly as if God has made his palms as a mold for her face. He looks in her eyes, wipes her tears, softly rubs her cheeks. His such actions flutter much more than butterflies every time it happens. He doesn't break the eye contact, slowly he bridges the gap and his lips touch hers, invading not just with authority but with all the love, the real love he has for her.

In that moment, everything hazes for her, their eyes automatically close, he holds her neck softly and that kiss expands beyond their bodies touching their golden souls. It whirls her around lifting her up in the magic of those little golden glittery shimmer as it soon converts into all the colors of the rainbow. She feels light in the air, her heart thumps just as it had thumped the first time, they had kissed. Her body breaks into goosebumps just as it did for the first time, she is yet again aroused just as she was some time back. And he feels no different than any of this.

His softness, his dominance, his way of kissing her, his smiles listening to her soft moans while in the kiss, it all is different and as magical every time as it was for the first time. He withdraws softly, again pecking her gently and softly while he rubs his thumb on her cheeks and looks into her eyes. Her gaze automatically lowers and that makes him smile every time, his bold and beautiful Shehnaaz behaves so coy and shy around their proximity and intimate moments. He still keeps gazing her when he says softly yet convincingly

"ye aisa kisi ke sath kabhi feel nahi hua...iske pehle bhi bhot si ladkiyan aayi aur gyi...kiss bhi hua...sab kuch hua...lekin ye...aisa pehle kabhi nahi hua...a guy..u always call 200 killo ka hulk won't shudder and feel like a teen kissing his first girl friend for the first time ever....it always...always feels the same...I don't just lose my control, I lose myself in you, I lose my heart, my soul mates with yours, I breathe you...that's what you do to me...that's what you make me feel...that's how I automatically react at your touches...tujhe ajeeb lagega...but I go nervous everytime making love to you for the initial few seconds...koi first time nahi hai...first time bhi first time nahi tha...lekin ye feeling iske pehle kabhi nahi aayi....i can't explain ki kya hai ye...way beyond than love it is"

She just looks astonishingly at him and tears still trip down her eyes. she isn't sure what are those tears for exactly. Is she guilty of saying all that or is she happy to listen to his honest confession about how he feels for her he has always been a man of few words and never explained himself to anyone. But he always makes sure to explain her to bridge that emotional gap. She is way beyond precious. Her mouth is slightly open and he smiles subtly at her. His eyes always emote love around her. He softly pulls her onto him in a hug

"tu pagal hai baby....aisa kisi ke sath kabhi feel nahi kiya maine... hamesha bolta hoon...do you not trust ur bebu? Hmm...bol...u make me feel alive...filmy dialogue nahi hai...sach bol raha hoon...dekh ek baat batau...see I know bhot mushkil hai aise dekhna...insecurity feel hoti hi hai...completely understandable...lekin Shehnaaz pata hai...I feel byond blessed to have you besides me....main tujhse kabhi jhooth nahi bolunga...Kassam lage teri....pehle bhi nahi bola aur tujhse to sawal hi nahi uthata bolne ka....tujhe yaad hai tune ek music album kiya tha to socha tha ki Sidharth hi hai...yaad hai interview me bhi kaha tha same.... Tujhe pata I didn't kiss tujhe soch ke...kyuki wo tu nahi thi...aur ek baat sach batau...I woudn't have wanted to kiss onscreen as such....pehle bhi bhot romance sequences kiye hain...lekin kiss nahi kiya...is story ka main focus tha obsession...obsessive behavior me naa physical attraction show karna hi padta hai...that roughness, that wanting I mean it's a part of method acting...body double tha....but authentic nahi lagta...I just took it as a challenge and did it....koi feel le ke nahi kiya...Shehnaaz tu hoti naa lead to nahi karta kiss shayad...wide angle and side angle shot nikalne bolta...you know why? I want to protect our moments to only ourselves....hamare moments sirf aur sirf hamare hain...we cherish them.. I cherish making love to you...kissing you, hugging you....they aren't for the world to watch and take a feel...this is pure and blissful aur mujhe isko aise hi rakhna hai...zabardasti public me chipka chipki... faltu ka PDA mere nature me nahi hai...logo ko dikhane hath pakdo.... Mujhse nahi hota ye sab...I don't function like that...you and our love are my home and I would never want to put it for display for public"

He takes a deep sigh and Sana finds his voice choaked. She innocently kisses on his chest and he smiles everytime she does that

"I am sorry bebu....lekin kya karu...actor to hum camera ke samne hote hain naa.. ab real me dekh ke mujhe rona aaya...nahi achha aga.... Nahi bardash kar payi tujhe kisi aur ke sath kiss karta hua dekh ke...bhot rona aata hai... mujhe pata hai tera kaam hai...mujhe pata hai tu nahi karta to koi aur karta ye role... tere liye ye come back bhi bhot important tha.... hum logo ki life bhot tough hai...sabko glamour dikhta hai...sab wow...but actually bhot dark space hai agar protect nahi kiya to... normal life lead karna zaruri ho jata hai...lekin sab nahi kar pate... mujhe isi baat ka dar hai.. dekha hai maine achhe achhe logo ko cheat karte hue....tu nahi hai waisa..lekin meri jagah reh ke dekh tab tujhe meri feel samajh aayegi...main tere kaam ke beech kabhi nahi aaungi... mana bhi nahi karungi..lekin ab dil ko kaise samjhau agar bura lagta hai tujhe aise kisi ke itna close dekh ke....ab lagta hai to lagta hai....tuje to pata hai naa meri duniya hi mere lagne pe chalti hai....main hoon possessive tere liye... nahi achha lagta... kisi ko bhi achha nahi lagega apne husband ko aise kiss karta dekh ke...main tere pe shak nahi kar rahi hu..just ek apni feel bata rahi hoon...muje hamesha lagega same hi"

Sid smiles and kisses the side of her head as he pats her naked back softly. He knows what she is saying is the utter truth. Its natural for your partner to feel that way

"pata hai meri jaan tujhe mereko explain karne ki zarurat hi nahi hai...lekin mujhe zarurat hai...koshish karunga aisa naa karna pade dubara....lekin can't say agar kuch bhot achha aata hai and the script demands...lekin tu sabse pehle hai...hum hamesha discuss karenge...I can't hurt you for few pennies....i know hamesha hurt hoga ye dekh ke tujhe...tujhe batau Shehnaaz tu bhot brave hai... strong hai..seriously bol raha hoon...tujhme bhot himmat hai...tune mana nahi kiya mujhe script sun ke....reality batau....main nahi karne deta...I know tu khud hi nahi karegi shayad....lekin karna bhi padta main pagal ho jata... sach me.. ganda sad jata...not because trust nahi hai tujhpe...khud se jyada hai tujhpe.... co-actor pe nahi kar pata...being a guy I have seen the ugly side...peeth ghumti nahi aur ghatiya baatein karte hain achhe achhe log...baby please mat karna tu main nahi dekh paunga kabhi"

Sana smiles and feels proud that he said it out and clear with the haq she always wants her Sidharth to claim on her

"kyuuuu?? Same hi hoga naa... tune kiya naa ek baar 3-4 kissi...ab main bhi karungi....kya big deal hai...script ki demand hogi to karna hi padega naa"

And that was it Sidharth had lost his cool and straddled on her thighs while he gritted his teeth seething in frustration imagining the visual of his Shehnaaz kissing a co-star "kabhi nahi karegi tu....you will not kiss any co-star ever...Shehnaaz kha meri kasam". And his eyes blurred and he realized that he was shedding tears.

Shehnaaz knew he was possessive and protective always. She knew what he said was true. He trusted her with all his heart and soul but he wouldn't trust anyone else for her. He was true to his nature, he did it because he would not even think filthy about anyone. But there is no guarantee that her co-star would too never think lasciviously and try chancing upon her. She too has seen the ugly side although Sidharth being a male has seen and heard it very closely. His experiences taught him to see it on a different level. And she knows he will do everything to protect them.

She softly shuffled him on the bed straddling on him. Wiping his tears, she bent to kiss his eyes and forehead while there was a lot on show for him. She hugged his naked body and kissed on his chest and neck while he had gone silent. Her hands softly caressed his cheeks as she kissed his right cheek

"bebuuu...gusshaaa ho gaya....nahi karungi kabhi... tujhe bhi pata hai ye baat...tere bolne ki zarurat hi nahi hai...main khud hi nahi karungi...salman sir ko dekh....bina kiss ke bhi movies hit dete hain naa... brand hai naa apne aap me...mehnat karungi...achha kaam karungi.. mere pas power hogi script me us type ke intimacy scenes change karne ki tab...clause hoga contract me... m loyal tere sath..sapne me bhi kisi aur ke sath aise pappi jhappi nai kar sakti main....lekin sun naa bebuuuu.... Tu itne din se nahi tha naa sath...matlab ki busy tha naa kaam, promotions n all me... humne aise wala time spend nahi kiya naa...maine bhot miss kiya"

Sidharth smiled and locked his hands on her back kissing the side of her left cheek "achha...kiya miss..aur fir"

"hayyyy.....sachhi batau....tu galat to nahi sochega mere bare?" she asked hiding in the crook of his neck

He chuckled "ab wo to batayegi tab bol paunga galat sochne layak baat hai yaa nahi... bata fir" he murmured huskily

"hayyyy...ni ammaaa...bho sharam arahi mujhe....chal koi naa bata deti hoon...abb jo hai wo hai...bebuuu mujhe naaa...sapane me dikhta tha ye sab" she giggled and he chuckled knowing what she wanted to say, he still played.

"kya sab? Ye rona dhona? Sapne me bhi ro rahi thi baby" he asked normally trying to keep a poker voice.

"tu pagal hai.... Rona dhona nahi....ye aise" she said biting her lower lip "kyaa...kaise?" Sid questions her back

"hayyy..ammaaa...ye aise tu...I mean...ki...love making" he chuckled and she rolled over to her side of the bed pulling the quilt laughing on telling him how much she had missed him and even dreamt him making love to her. That made him feel loved and wanted. He tried getting into the quilt while she pushed but couldn't resist. He is stronger and he finally pulled her close to him and kissed her longingly. He spoke catching some breath

"main meetings finish kar ke aata tha naa room me....tu soyi hoti thi tujhe utha ke man karta tha bolu baby please....i need you...sala 2 hafto se adhi rat me cold shower le ke so raha hoon...gadhi...bola kyu nahi kabhi tujhe sapne aane lage hain aise....awwww... u missed me like that baby...bolne me sharam nai aayi....ab badi sharam aarahi....look at me and answer me" he asked her sternly and she just pouted.

"hattttt...kuch bhi...aise kaise bolti....aaj to nikal gaya....emotional ho gayi thi to...ye koi bolne ki baat hai kyaa..khuddi samajhna chaiye...itane itane din aise time nahi dega to sapne me hi karna padega naa" she said with utter seriousness that made him laugh and she again hid in his chest hiding her face in her palms.

He pulled the quilt and she gasped widening her eyes feeling shy when he teased her moaning his own name "hay....hayyyyy....sharam nahi naa arahi"

"baby..upar wale ne muh diya hai naa...bolne ke liye hi diya hai....1000 baar samjhaya hai...aise kaise bolungi se nahi chalta...main nahi bolta kya tujhe...Shehnaaz abhi matlab abhi...why can't you say...abe gadhi it's such a proud thing for us men...like yes...ur biwi needs you too...why sharam...it's equal...kaunse zamane me reh rahi hai tu..ki ladkiyan kaise bolengi...ohhhh Sidhaarttttt karne me kyu nahi aati sharam....tab bhi aani chaiye fir...tab to full form me rehti hai...hahahaha.... awww u seriously dreamt of me making love to u in ur sapna....how and what did I do?? It sounds like a fantasy...jaise jaise sapne me kiya hoga maine...I want to do all that abhi...wow.... So exciting biwi....come on bakegi jaldi"

In the next moment Shehnaaz flipped and straddled on his torso holding his hands on either side "sapne me bhi mujhe tujhe meeting ke beech se kheench ke laana pada aur sab mujhe karwana pada...itna desperate sapna tha....hayyy....Shehnaaz... Shehnaaz nahi thi...pata nahi kya ho gaya tha...like irritation ho raha tha"

As she hovered and kissed him, he let her take the lead and they ended up again making love as she was too exhausted while Sid felt refreshed

"wowwwwww... aise creative sapne plz dekha kar biwi....this was the best in a long long time meri jaan...come here hug me"

She hugged him and melted in his warmth as he tangled his legs with hers and kissed her again and she softly asked him hesitantly "I was good naa".

"good....naaahhhh....you were aaahhhhmazing..i am planning to stay away from you so you keep dreaming such stuff and then want me to want you....wowww man....i just loved it...you are wild yet so soft...I would never get enough of you biwi...I loveeeeee youuu"

He kissed her again the nth time and they smiled. While he still held her close to him in his arms. He wanted to conclude the discussion as he said something looking into her eyes

"you know Shehnaaz...all this love making, pappi jhappi is normal sab couples me hota hai...but what will keep us strong is your trust in me...and my trust in you... see main ladka ladki difference nahi manta...u know that lekin duniya me ye difference hai.... The industry still runs on it...pay parity is an issue... hero 50 sal ka bhi ho jaye hero ho sakta hai...heroine 32-35 ki ho gayi to roles milne kam ho jate hain...humne ye pehle bhi baat ki hai.... Ekdum se change nahi hoga ye....dheere dheere hoga..ho raha hai...I trust you over my life.... kissing scene se tere mujhe possessively shayad kam problem ho....lekin protectively bhot problem hogi...kyuki males in our industry sab achha nahi sochte...n it's a truth....maine Sonia ke bare me kabhi aisa nahi socha ki wowww...she tastes amazing...the kiss was wowww...sala bed me kamaal hogi bandi...sun lee..pehle poori baat....the kissing scene was just on camera not in my head....ye main khud ki surety de sakta hoon... lekin tere co-star ki surety koi nahi de sakta...dikhate kuch hain ho kuch aur sakte hain....that's the only reason I said u won't kiss anyone.... i haven't fantasized kissing my co-star...but in general ppl do..even female co-actors can....i am loyal to you to tujhe mera bata sakta hoon kyuki ye hum dono ke beech ki baat hai....tu hai but I don't want guys fantasizing about you...tu janti nahi hai tu bhot jyada precious hai...khud se jyada... I will do everything in my power to protect you and protect us.... Bus isliye naa kaha...baki koi reason nahi hai...I don't doubt you"

She smiled and kissed him on his cheeks "main janti hoon....lekin main bata rahi hoon...main hurt ho jatti hoon...abhi bhi hui...dekhungi to dubara hongi....jab bhi lagega roungi unche unche... tujhe mujhe manana bhi padega....same to same har bar samjhana bhi padega.... lekin main jaldi jaldi man jaungi...samajh jaungi...shak nahi karungi.... Lekin bura feel karne ka hak hai naa mera... ab pyar hai to bura to lagega....tu mana liya karna...kya ho gaya to...hoon to teri hi naa.....aur tu mera hi hai naa"

He smiled at her honesty and agreed to always mend her hurt and her sullen heart with his love

"tujhse milne se pehle naa Shehnaaz I was so broken.... personally and professionally bhi..but you mended me in the most amazing ways....this only you could...bhot dhokha diya mujhe logo ne...n I turned aggressive and bitter....didn't believe in love...but you did things effortlessly...and jab bhi hoga I would be so so proud to tell the world our story that Sidharth Shukla could relate to Agastya Rao as he too was broken but an angel healed him in the most magical way, loved him for who he is.... And I would title our story as

"BROKEN BUT BEAUTIFULLY MENDED" ~ a story of Sidharth and his Shehnaaz, an angel who brought her healing touch in his broken life and he found his self worth being broken so that she could heal him forever and he could love her like he couldn't love anyone else. It will be our story of broken but beautiful – reprised.

I LOVE YOU MERI JAAN...and thank you nahi kahunga....chota hai bhot thank you bolna tujhe...you deserve all my love, loyalty, trust, happiness, life, body, heart, soul and everything and every ounce of my being that I am made of. And I am so proud of you....main tujhe hamesha manaunga.... Hurt hogi tab bhi...lekin sun naa biwi....plzzzz aise sapne dekhti rehna....craze bana rehna chaiye....achha next sapna main aaj dekhunga....come hug me zor se...mujhe sone de sapna dekhna hai... meri turn hai ab"

He laughed devilishly and earned shy playful slaps and few more kisses and moans as they drifted to the most peaceful slumber. Sid and Sana are getting ready for his first ever OTT release and Sid knows his Shehnaaz is always by his side. Her trust and love is paramount and he will cajole her hurt and heart and love her with his every breath.

_____________________________

This is how i feel she must be feeling looking at the kiss. And i am sure they must have talked about it before and after...and Sid would even make her understand that what they share is beyond anyone's understanding

I felt bad and i cried looking at Sid in the kissing scene and that's exactly what i explained to myself... as if i was sana and how would i feel him kissing his co-star n i could hear Sid sayin all of this to me coz i was playing Shehnaaz... i felt her pain n felt broken but i have mended my heart, as of now.. I would probably still breakdown when I actually see it on screen... I don't know... i role play my characters to bring out the right emotions

I hope you love this #sidnaaz episodic single as broken but beautifully 3 is all set to release... i wish Sidharth immense success and happiness professionally and personally and equally to Shehnaaz

Love
Shefali 💕