red. frank's eyes open for a moment. blue. they close. red. frank can hear screaming. blue. lindsey. red. the sound of the ambulance yelling down the road. blue. "fatal car crash, one dead, two injured." red. "hit and run presumed." blue. rubber gloves. red. the soft gurney. blue. red blood. red. black.

the next think frank knows is the hospital sheets, and the harsh ache in his side. the taste of metallic blood filling his mouth. his ears are ringing and everything feels. bad. he hurts. so bad. and when he opens his eyes, he squints at the white hospital ceiling. it's bright, too bright and his head aches at the sight.

things don't come back to him as soon as he wished they would, but the moment his mind wanders back to it, his heart drops and he reaches for something, anything to tell him something. he finds his phone on his bedside table. he doesn't have any notifications but he wastes no time in texting lindsey and hayley both, "what happened?"

he knows what happened, he remembers the car that came out of nowhere, he vaguely remembers the scream, and everything else is a blur. frank waits ten minutes but neither of them reply, so he sighs and pulls the hair from his face, stress taking over and he winces as he pulls the needle from his vein, pulling himself out of the bed and bringing his phone with him as he leaves the room. he still gets no reply from lindsey and hayley as a nurse confronts him in the hall, "what are you doing out of bed? have you been released?"

"i'm fine, i'm frank iero, my friends lindsey and hayley should be here, i'm not suffering from anything i just need to make sure they're okay," frank attempts, but the nurse pulls him back into the hospital room, shaking her head. she grabs the folder from beside his door and tells him to lay back down on the bed.

"i can tell you about your friends but i ask that you stay in this bed," she says, "you've sustained injuries to your ribs which will need to be bandaged for a while, but until we know the exact state, i'll have to ask you to stay in bed."

"what happened to lindsey and hayley?" frank asks, "can't they come in here? or i can go over there?"

the nurse shakes her head, "i hate to break the news but hayley, i think was her name, the one with orange hair, she died. the records say that..." she reads over the papers in hand, "on impact with a car running a red, you spun out, and collided with a tree which broke the windshield. debris penetrated her skull, and she died ten minutes later, we could not revive her. i can't give out medical records for lindsey but i can tell you she has not died. she is in another room currently unconscious. it's a miracle you're still alive, frank. you could have just as well ended up like hayley."

frank's grown deaf through the last few sentences and he stares at the wall as that sinks in. he takes a minute to say anything and when he does it's, "can you let me know when lindsey wakes up? please?"

"of course," the nurse replies, she stands and grabs the iv, but before she leaves she says, "we've notified your mom, but we're unsure if she'll be coming."

"she won't," frank replies, cutting the nurse off, laying back down.

"one more question."

"huh?"

"how old are the scars?"

"years old." months.

•••

frank spends the next couple hours on his phone, watching the clock turn from 11pm to 1am and eventually, he finds himself falling asleep, unable to stay up with his thoughts. for some reason, the thought of hayley dying just isn't putting as much stress on him as he thought it would. he feels fine. he feels okay. maybe it's because he doesn't truly believe it, or maybe because he's just in denial, but he can't seem to focus on any one thing. everything is too fuzzy and he just wants to see lindsey.

when he wakes up again, it's ten, it's the door that wakes him of the nurse coming in with bandages. "good morning, frank."

"morning," frank replies, monotone in his reply, "any news?"

"lindsey is awake, you can visit her once i check your bandages, can you lift up the gown for me, frank?"

frank complies, lifting it up so she can look at his bandages. he barely even realized they were there, and as she unpeels them, he winces. there are bruises all across his stomach, and when he breathes in too deeply, there's a sharp pain in his right side. the nurse says to him, "you have a minor crack in your rib and it'll heal in about a month or two. we can prescribe painkillers if you need, but it should be alright."

frank nods, and watches as she throws away the old bandages, "if you want to, you can stand and walk, your clothes are on the chair over there."

she gestures to one in the corner of the room frank saw but didn't have the patience to go to, "and we're discharging you. lindsey is in room 2201 if you want to visit."

"thank you," frank says, "what about the things in the truck? the baby stuff that we bought."

"you should talk with lindsey about that," the nurse replies, "she'll know more."

frank nods, and watches as the nurse leaves, then pulls off the gown and dresses himself, eyes on the wall across from him. he still can't get his head cleared and all he wants to do is get home and try to figure it out, but he knows he needs to check on lindsey first so as soon as he can, he opens the door and heads over. 2201. it's two doors down.

when he enters, the room is crowded with lindsey's parents and hayley's parents. hayley's mother is crying, a handkerchief in hand as she sobs. her father looks ill, rubbing her back while lindsey's parents are at her bedside, comforting her own crying. the moment frank walks in, he feels unwelcome, everyone's eyes go to him. hayley's father glares, but her mother is much harsher.

"frank, you fucking bastard," she snarls, wiping her tears with her wet sleeves, "you killed her! you fucking killed her! and you think you can show your disgusting face in here? you think everything is forgiven?"

"mary-" her husband tries, but she shakes her head, ignoring him.

"get out of here you fucking faggot! get out you killed my daughter! you killed her!" before she can step forward, though, hayley's dad holds her back and says to her, "let's take a minute, mary." and they leave, bumping into frank sharply as they find the hallway and the door shuts. the room goes silent and frank looks back to lindsey who's cuddled up in the sheets, choking back her tears.

frank doesn't want to go towards the bed, because despite the fact hayley's parents are gone, lindsey's are still there, watching over her like guard dogs. her dad shoots frank daggers and frank's heart sinks.

"can you two give us some time alone?" lindsey whispers. her parents exchange glances, but her mother nods, smiling down at her daughter, "of course, honey. we'll be right outside if you need us." and they follow hayley's parents out the door directly after. when the door finally closes again, the room is dead silent, even more than before and frank swallows back his guilt as he slowly comes to the bed, still unsure if he's welcome.

lindsey doesn't look at him, doesn't say anything and frank's heart sinks, but he doesn't dare speak first. lindsey takes the chance, "i don't blame you. but i don't think we'll be talking for a while."

frank nods even though she can't see him, "that's... fine. i understand."

"what happened? you were pissed after we left. something was wrong and you didn't say anything and then it happened. you didn't tell either of us what happened and i've been thinking about it. what was on your mind?" she looks at him for this, and frank realizes he can't just say nothing to this. this is serious and he owes this to her. he knows, logically, he couldn't have been the one to crash the car, the other person was running the red light. but the fact that frank didn't even look, didn't bother checking. the fact that he was the one in the driver's seat and he was the one that allowed it to happen. that's something unforgivable. that's something that needs an answer.

"i'm in a complicated relationship with this man i met a couple weeks ago. we got into a fight in that bathroom, he was being an asshole. so i wasn't... i felt shitty. i wasn't happy, i was pretty pissed." frank shoves his hands into his pockets.

lindsey hums, pulls her knees to her chest, wipes her eyes with her hand and says to frank, "you should leave."

"i'm sorry—"

"i don't want your apologies," lindsey hisses, "just... just go."

frank doesn't have to be told a third time and he immediately complies, turning away and shutting the door behind himself as he walks down the hall, completely ignoring lindsey's parents. hayley's have left. he hoped so. he's too busy dealing with his own thoughts to deal with more hatred. more blame. he calls a taxi home and as soon as he enters the door and drops off the bag, he stares at the wall far from him and parts his lips. everything spills out.

he screams, loud, and long, and broken. and everything falls apart around him.