Confessional- Duke

"Today is going to be wild. We are having guests over for brunch. I'll give you a hint as to who they are; by the end of the meal, someone will be maimed...you're right, that sounds like a regular day here."

*Cue intro video*

*The scene starts in the living room. Jason is wrapping Damian in aluminum foil while the boy sleeps on the couch. Dick walks in and sees what Jason is doing.*

"You know, when he wakes up he is going to kill you."

"Eh, I'll blame it on Tim."

*Dick sits down on the opposite couch, watching as Jason adds another layer of aluminum foil. He pulls out his phone and scrolls through it for a few moments, neither of the brothers saying anything.*

"I feel like you have something you want to tell me, Dickie."

*Dick choked on air, glancing up at Jason, who was staring accusingly at him.*

"Am I wrong?"

"Er...um, well...you see...the thing is..."

"Just tell me, Dick. It can't be that bad."

*Dick gulped.*

"Momthoughtitwouldbeagoodideatoinvitetheothermomsoverforbrunchtoday."

*Jason froze.*

"Repeat that. Slower."

"Mom thought it would be a good idea to invite the other moms over for brunch today."

*Jason put the tube of aluminum foil down. He turned to face Dick.*

"You decide to tell me that my mother is going to be coming over...an hour before she will arrive?"

"Surprise?"

"Dick."

"Yes?"

"Run."

Confessional- Dick

"You might be wondering why Jason reacted that way to finding out that his mother is coming over. You see, the thing is, his mother had kept his and Damian's existence a secret from dad for years, until Jason was like ten-ish? When dad found out about them, he fought for custody and won. And the rest, as they say, is history."

*Mumbled off screen talking.*

"Oh, I didn't answer why Jason seems on edge? Well, his mom is...eccentric. Yeah, that's one way to put it."

*Camera cuts to the front of the manor where the family is gathered on the steps. Two cars pull up behind the family vehicles. Stepping out of the first one emerges a lithe middle Eastern woman, sunglasses perched on her nose. Out of the second car steps an Asian woman with a stoic expression. They spot the other and nod before looking to the steps of Wayne manor.*

"Well, hello, Bruce. Thank you for inviting us, Selina."

"Of course, Talia and Sa-"

"Please, call me Shiva."

"Okay. Would you like to come in?"

"Thank you."

*Talia and Shiva followed the family inside to the living room, everyone taking seats. There was a beat of awkward silence before Selina spoke up.*

"I'm glad you both could make it here."

"Of course. Its not often I'm allowed to see my children. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Talia...you have visitation rights, you know that, right? You can come over when ever you'd like."

"...I was not made aware of this. This is certainly good to know."

*Jason and Damian exchanged a look, unreadable expressions on their faces.*

"And what of me? Am I allowed over whenever I wish to see my Cassandra?"

"Of course, Sa-Shiva. We've never barred you from seeing your daughter. You or Talia."

"Oh, now I'm your daughter?"

"Pardon, Cassandra?"

"Nothing, mother."

"Alright. What are we having for our meal? 'Brunch' as you called it."

*Helena leaned over to Dick, mumbling lowly to him.*

"This is so awkward."

"Tell me about it."

*Shiva gestured to the camera crew.*

"What is with all of...this?"

"Oh, we didn't tell you? We are being filmed for a reality television show called Dysfunctional."

"And here I thought you were just going all out for home movies."

"I got that covered, Ms. Shiva."

"Shiva is fine, Duke. What do you mean, you have it covered?"

"Duke, I swear, if you show them any of the videos you have, I'll-"

"Jason, hush. I would like to see these videos."

"I would too, Talia."

*Duke gave his siblings an apologetic look before pulling his phone out and going to the camera roll. He pulled up some videos from a few weeks earlier, showing them to Shiva and Talia.*

"Cassandra, why would you break up this fight? It was just getting interesting."

"Mother, Damian was drowning Tim."

"Jason, what did I teach you about how to treat your brother?"

"Mother, he tried to stab me only hours earlier that day."

"So stab him back, its his way of saying hello."

"Talia..."

"Kidding! I'm kidding, Bruce. Mostly."

*The next video starts and a shriek is heard from the phone.*

"Jason! You...you...you skank!"

*Jason's eyes widened.*

"Duke, turn it off!"

*Duke went to pull his phone away only for Talia to grab the phone and stare intently at the screen as the rest of the video played.*

"I overheard Tim's confessional, I know you had a three way with one of my exes. 'fess up! Who was it?"

*Talia raised a brow but said nothing, watching the rest of the video. Once it was over, she handed the phone back to Duke.*

"Thank you for this information, Duke."

"You're, uh, welcome?"

"Jason, it seems you take after your father in the...affairs department."

"Gah! Mother, too much information!"

"What? Is this not a way to bond with your children as they grow older? Talk about past escapades?"

"That is what I had heard, Talia."

"Thank you, Shiva."

"If I am not mistaken, you were conceived during one of these escapades."

"Mother!"

"How do you know our dad is the father then?"

*Talia smirked.*

"Unless Selina has a well hidden secret, I am fairly certain Bruce is the father."

"What?!"

"Mom and dad and...Talia?! Oh, god! I need therapy!"

"Talia, can I have a word with you? Privately?"

"Of course, Bruce."

*Talia and Bruce exit the room, leaving the children with Selina and Shiva in a shocked silence.*

"Cassandra, aren't you grateful I don't talk about my escapades with your father in front of you and your siblings?"

"Instead you just leave me on the doorsteps of the home of a father I had never met before to go travel the world in pursuit of your 'studies'."

*Shiva frowns.*

"Cassandra-"

"What, mother? What could you possibly say that would make that okay?"

"I angered some people. Powerful people. They were after me and I couldn't let them hurt you. I'm sorry. I went about and ruined things between us because of my own recklessness."

"What happened to the people that are after you? Are they still coming for you?"

"I took care of them a few years ago."

"And you never thought to come see me?"

"I...I did. I came by as soon as I was sure things were safe. I saw you playing in the pool with your siblings and realized your father could give you a better life and family than I ever could. I...did not think you would want to see me, especially after how I left you."

"Well, you were wrong."

"I am sorry, Cassandra. Please, allow me to make up for lost time."

*Cass sat there, arms crossed over her chest.*

"Please."

"I'll...I'll think about it."

"Thank you."

*Bruce and Talia came back into the room.*

"Brunch is ready. Who is hungry?"

"Only if it is a normal meal."

*Everyone scoffed.*

"Damian, look who you are talking to. Normal isn't going to happen."

"One can still hope."

Confessional- Damian

"So with father having given an open door policy to mother, we can expect her to show up unannounced whenever she pleases. This should go over well."

*Damian's phone buzzes with a text. He looks down at his phone and nods stoically.*

"Mother is now spending the day here. Splendid."

Confessional- Cassandra

"Was I harsh on my mother? Well, she abandoned me. She deserves it. The again, mom always says to forgive but never forget. Mom, mother...this is going to be confusing...but having two moms is better than having none, I guess."

Confessional- Jason

*Jason stares at the camera, unblinking and not speaking. He stands up and walks out of the confessional room. A door is heard slamming, a car engine revving before driving off into the distance.*