Confessional- Helena

"So, since Dick got us kicked out of the hotel and banned for life we are now staying with some good 'family friends', the Kents. Notice how I put quotes around family friends. You see, Mr. Kent and dad -"

"Hel its time to go!"

*Looks into camera*

"My family has no sense of privacy, I swear."

*Cue intro video*

*The camera pans over a wide open field, a sizeable house situated somewhat in the middle with a barn in a good ways away from it. The family cars are seen driving up the path to the house where two women stand, one brunette and older than the blonde who stands with her. They wave to the cars as the doors open and out step the family.*

"Bruce! Selina! Its so good to see you."

"You too, Lois. Thank you again for putting us up for the night while they finish fumigating our house."

"Of course. What are friends for?"

*The blonde woman and Helena hug each other tightly, the blonde pecking Helena on the cheek.*

"I missed you."

"We facetimed last night."

"I know, but its not the same."

"You're so clingy."

"You love me."

"I know."

*Dick coos at them while Duke and Jason pretend to barf. Helena glares at her two brothers and Cass punches them both in the arm, the two of them yelping in pain.*

"Mom! Cass hit me!"

"You probably deserved it."

"What kind of motherly answer is that?!"

"I know you and your siblings, Jason, or need I remind you of the fact that Dick got us kicked out of our hotel on yours and Tim's dare to jump off a balcony?"

"Oof, you got me there."

*The door to the house opens and out runs a boy Damian's age, followed by a teen Tim's age at a much slower pace. A man pulls up the rear, glasses perched on his nose. He pauses when he sees Bruce, stuttering in his step before continuing at a slower pace, stopping next to Lois.*

"Bruce."

"Clark."

"Damian!"

"Jon."

"Hey Tim."

"Hey Conner."

Confessional- Selina

*Rolls her eyes*

"Bruce and Clark are such men. They can't let the past be the past. So what if they used to-"

"Mom! Terry is getting cranky!"

*Sighs heavily.*

"Sometimes I worry about the competency of some of my children."

*The scene has moved into the house. Most of the children, minus Terry and Damian, are gathered in the living room with Conner and the blonde woman, watching television. In the connected kitchen stand Lois, Clark, Selina, and Bruce, each with a mug of coffee. Terry sits on the floor with a bowl of dry cereal. Damian and Jon are nowhere to be seen.*

"So, Selina, how are things?"

"Things are going pretty nicely, house should be ready by tomorrow."

"That's good, that's good."

*All the adults take a sip of their coffee as Terry giggles, stuffing cereal into his mouth. In the living room, the kids are watching a movie on the television, the blonde curled up around Helena. Dick is texting on his phone while Conner and Tim discuss theories about the movie, Duke yelling at them that they were spoiling it. Cass was stretched out on one of the couches, sleeping. Jason was staring out the window a bored expression on his face.*

"What if I-"

"What if you didn't?"

"I didn't even finish my sentence."

"You were going to say something stupid. We all know it."

"Accurate but hurtful."

"My specialty, kiddo."

*The group sat in silence for a few moments, everyone doing their own thing.*

"KareBear-"

"Call me that again and I will put your teeth in your esophagus."

"...Damn, alright. I was just going to ask you to pass the remote. Didn't realize it was-"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence, Jason."

"I was going to say it was off limits. Geez, I'm not a sexist monster. How low are everyone's standards of me?"

"Very low."

"Pretty much nonexistent."

"...I deserve that. I'm going to go to the bathroom, anybody thinks of taking my seat I will sit on you and, just remember, I conserve toilet paper."

*Everyone yelled and groaned, throwing things at Jason as he left the room in a fit of laughter. Karen, the blonde, mumbled something about having to burn the couch now. Helena laughed as the adults and Terry came back into the living room, an air of tension around them.*

"What're we watching?"

"Sharknado. Wanna join?"

"We were actually thinking about going out for dinner. Any of you interested?"

"Hell yes!"

"Count me in."

"Free food? Of course!"

"Where are Damian and Jon? We can't leave them by themselves."

*Stomping was heard and everyone turned to the staircase as Damian and Jon came running down, Damian chasing Jon with his cheeks red. Jon was laughing and Damian looked embarrassed.*

"Found them."

"Boys, we're going to dinner. Grab your shoes."

"Why does Damian look like he just got pantsed?"

"Answer that question, Jon, and I will never speak to you again."

"Awe, Damian, come on."

*The two families shrugged, going about getting ready to head out for dinner. They piled into the vehicles, driving off. The camera stayed in the living room for a moment, a toilet was heard flushing and into the frame walked Jason. He looked around, calling out everyone's names.*

"I bet those fuckers went to Olive Garden without me."

*Cameras cut to Olive Garden where the rest of the family was gathered with the Kents and Karen, spread out across multiple tables. They were chatting amongst themselves as they waited for their server to come to them. Suddenly, Selina slapped her forehead.*

"Omigod, we forgot Jason!"

"Don't worry mom, he's feral. He can fend for himself."

"Now, if we forgot Terry, that would be a different story."

*Helena snorted.*

"Yeah, or Dick."

"Hey!"

"What? You can't get ice water without burning it!"

*The server came at that moment, taking the massive party's orders. Tim and Conner were sword fighting with the bread sticks while Cass and Duke were seeing how many they could sneak in their clothes without anyone noticing. They were currently at eleven breadsticks each. Damian was flinging tomatoes from his salad at Jon, who was in turn throwing them back. The adults were conveniently ignoring all of this behavior, going about their small talk.*

Confessional- Duke

"I can't believe Cassandra beat me! I mean, she's tiny so her clothes are tiny, right? Yet she somehow managed to sneak out twenty seven breadsticks! How is that humanly possible?! I swear, that girl can do anything..."

Confessional- Tim

"I think I sprained my wrist fighting Conner."

*Unintelligible yelling from the other room.*

"Oh, shut up, Dick! At least my exes don't sleep with Jason!"

*Crashing is heard, thundering footsteps coming towards the room.*

"Oh, fu-"