I immediately flushed the flower, and got up on shaking legs. Of course this is happening to me. I knew deep down that it would. That there was no way I could not get Hanahaki when I was so far gone. But I kept trying to rationalize it. I wasn't in LOVE. It was just a crush. I didn't love Bakugou. I didn't want him so badly that it hurt physically.

But it's kind of hard to rationalize and make excuses when you're spitting up flowers into your best friend/crush/unrequited love's toilet.

I look in the mirror and see a mess of a man staring back at me. My eyes are rimmed red from the crying. I have dried spit on the corners of mouth and my hair is matted onto my cheeks from my now drying tear tracts.

No wonder he doesn't love me.

The thought sends me into another coughing fit, thankfully not as long as the first, and ends with three petals resting in my hand.

I take a closer look at the petals. They're the exact same shade as Bakugou's hair, a beautiful champagne that shines white in the fluorescent lights. They're soft, almost velvety, and I can tell by their shape that they're camellias. If they weren't the beginning of my death, I'd think that they're the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen.

I throw the petals into the toilet, once again witnessing flower petals swirl away. I guess this is a sight I'm going to be seeing a lot of.

I splash some water on my face and make myself look halfway decent before leaving the security of the bathroom to face Bakugou.

"What the actual fuck Kirishima?" He asks, concern filling his ruby eyes. I hate that I made him worry, but telling him the truth would possibly quite literally kill me.

"It's fine, bro. I'm just feeling pretty sick," I say, which isn't technically a lie.

"Bullshit. I thought you were literally going to cough up your fucking lung."

"I'm fine right now. I'll call one of my moms and maybe spend the weekend at home instead of at the dorms."

He gives me a look that screams "I don't fucking believe you but you're obviously not telling me" but instead he says, "Whatever Shitty Hair. We're not studying if you're gonna fucking die in my bedroom. Go lie down and get better or some bullshit. And if I find out that you didn't call one of your moms, I'll fucking kill you."

I laugh at his aggressive attempt at caring. It's these little things that I love about him.

"Yeah yeah I'll get goin now. See ya Blasty!"

"Whatever, Fuck Munch," he mumbles as I walk out the door.

As soon as I shut my door, I throw myself onto my bed and bury my face in my pillow.

"FUCK ME WITH A CHAINSAW," I scream into the pillow and fish my phone out of my pocket. I debate on who to call right now and decide to call Ma. She's less pushy than Mom and I don't want to explain that I probably only have a year to live over the phone. That's like the terminal illness equivalent of breaking up with someone over text. Honestly I'm shocked I haven't broken down yet.

Ma picks up the third ring, her gruff sarcastic voice making me smile. "Hello son of mine. What makes you grace me with your presence on this fine evening?"

"Chill out, Ma. I need to talk to you and Mom about something. It's, uh, well it's pretty serious," I say, my voice dropping towards the end. It starts to hit me that who knows how many phone calls I'll have left? Typically the max is around a year.

Oh god, I'm actually going to die.

"Hey, it's ok. It's alright," she says, trying to comfort me through the phone. I must've started crying some time during my train of thought. "Hey, if it's that serious Eijirou, I'm coming to pick you up right now. I'll text your mom in a bit, but I'm getting in my truck and I'm coming to get you."

I want to tell her that's it fine and she shouldn't drive all the way here and back home, but I feel like I need them right now. Because it's all crashing down that everything I have is limited now.

"Thank you, Ma. I love you."

When my Ma gets here, I hop into the passenger seat of her truck and stare ahead.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asks, ruffling her short black pixie cut. It's a nervous habit of hers and it leaves her with perpetually messy curls that fall into her blue eyes. She's so beautiful and it hurts me to think that there's going to be a time when I see her ruffle her curls for the last time.

"Not until Mom is here too."

She nods her head, her dark skin catching the light of the sunset as she starts the truck. "So it's really serious, huh. Is it about Bakugou?"

I almost cringe at the name, remembering the coughing fits from just a few hours ago. "Sometimes I forget that I told you guys about my crush. But yeah, I guess it kinda is."

She nods her head again and turns on the radio. We spend the rest of the drive listening to Classic Rock and talking about Ma's day at work. A pit of dread starts to form in my stomach as we pull into the driveway. I'm really about to have this conversation.

Ma must sense my anxiety because she reaches over and puts her hand over mine. She gives me a small smile and we get out and walk into my home.

"Honey I'm home!" Ma says, smiling ear to ear. Mom steps out of the kitchen and wraps her arms around Ma's waist before planting a kiss on the shorter woman's lips. My Ma is only 5'3 while Mom is almost 5'10. It's kind of funny that Ma is the more aggressive and dominant one of the two when she's way shorter than both of us. It makes me smile, seeing how much they love each other.

But it also sends me into another coughing fit, thinking of how this is something I'll never have with Bakugou.

I push past the two of them, my throat burning and tears  gathering at the corners of my eyes. They stare at me worried and confused as I bend over the kitchen sink, trying to push the flower out of my throat. Mom comes over and starts rubbing my back, telling Ma to grab me a glass of water. Both of them stop once they look into the sink, completely shocked as petals start falling out of my mouth.

"What the actual fuck, Eijirou?" Ma asks, horrified and confused, once I stop hacking and start regaining my composure.

"Yeah so, uh, this-this is what I needed to talk to you about," I say, my voice hoarse.

"It's Bakugou isn't it?" My mom says, understanding the situation.

"Yeah. Yeah it's him," I confess, sliding down into a crisscross. "It started this afternoon, a bit before I called Ma. This is the third coughing fit I've had. I needed to tell you guys as soon as possible."

My moms sit next to me, each taking one of my hands until all three of us are sitting the kitchen floor, holding hands. "I'm going to call the doctor. We'll go in the morning."

My moms voice breaks at the end, telling me that she already understands what this means. That unless I get the surgery or confess and get my feelings returned, I'll be dead by this time next year.

Suddenly tears are streaming down my face and my mom starts sobbing. I can see the tears on Ma's face but I know she's trying to stay strong for the both of us. She pulls both of us into a hug and we stay like that for at least an hour.

Holding onto each other. Crying into each other. Huddled on the linoleum floor. Because we're mourning me. Because we know I'll never do the surgery if it means losing my feelings for Bakugou. Because we know that I'm truly in love with him.

And because we know that possibility of me confessing before I die is slim and that the possibility of him loving me back is even slimmer.

So we sit huddled on our kitchen floor crying until we can't cry any more.

It's only day one of the Hanahaki disease and the Kirishima Family is already broken.