─── ･｡•̩̩͙˚｡✧: *. .*:✧•̩̩͙･ﾟ｡───

Usually, Joy never dwelled in Lucas's thoughts.

Maybe that was a bit of a lie, had some awkward, bonding moment at Charlotte's house. Things led to another, and now his mind couldn't erase the aftermath no matter how hard he tried to.

Honestly, he didn't know how to explain it, but something in the air changed after Lucas assaulted a house with eggs and Joy just watched him obliterate the house. Like, he still hated her and he still didn't want to attend the program but it wasn't like he wanted to pull a voodoo thing on her.

It was just... different. Yes, it was different.

It wasn't like he dumped his entire repressed trauma on Joy in some dramatic, Shakespearean soliloquy and they rejoiced and had some empowering conversation about why life was so gosh darn precious.

It was more like Lucas coughed his soul out, drank nasty, room-temperature water, and Joy said in the nicest way possible— 'dude, you almost died doing something illegal but who doesn't do that, right?'

Total bonding moment.

When Joy met Lucas after their meeting (which wasn't eventful) after a day, he half expected Joy to bring it up and make fun of him for it. Honestly, he would so who else wouldn't?

Normal people wouldn't be dwelling on things like this, but then again Lucas wasn't particularly normal. However, that did excuse him for being this way. For being this... awkward.

Perhaps Joy could tell, judging by the way her eyes found Lucas the moment he came into her ground of vision. Perhaps she could see how he picked at a frayed sting on his hoodie incessantly and no matter how much he tugged it, it felt never-ending much like the looping thoughts in his head.

Perhaps Joy could see the unease between his brows or the frown that etched on his lips or the painful cringe in his expression when he got a brief memory of that day. Perhaps she noticed all those things but when Lucas joined her side, she merely smiled that witty smile that she always had.

All those stupid, stomach filliping thoughts just left that moment. Lucas wasn't sure why he was so concerned about the situation being awkward, seeing that Joy didn't seem like the type to let the conversation crash and burn like that. Also, this was in no way important enough to be subject to his worries.

There were a lot of other things to care about, and certainly, Joy shouldn't be in that category.

"Good morning Andrews," Joy was unnaturally perky like those nasty packets of artificial sugar. But people liked those sugars judging how they always came back for more.

"Hi." Immediately Lucas wanted to punch himself in the face. He winced, knowing there was no use in hiding anything at this point.

"You look great," She grinned. Lucas suspiciously raised an eyebrow at her. Her stupid grin widened. "A bit pale, but hey! You're still alive so that's a win!"

Lucas scowled, ignoring the pang in his stomach, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're winning. You're beating your sickness for another day!" She beamed, turning towards Lucas.

"Did you shove a motivational magazine up your ass or what?" Lucas deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

"Why yes. Read a bit of some magazine in the lobby today, dear pal. Enthusiasm is a very great element to a speedy recovery from a sickness or injury."

"You're aware that I can't recover from this right?" He said, gesturing at himself. Joy nodded, looking around.

"I know, but it's still good to look at this beautiful world positively. A positive outlook on life ensures more motivation to become healthy."

Lucas snorted, looking at her with a disgusted look. "You're acting like I snapped all my bones."

"We can pretend," Joy suggested. "That you have a bone disease instead."

"As if that's any better," Lucas raged, frowning. "I'd rather die from organ failure than that. Move one inch and have my spine shatter?"

"But if your spine shatters, you die fast too."

"I think that just ends with paralysis. Being a quadriplegic would be way worse than a terminal illness."

"You think so?" Joy asked.

"Have you seen 'me before you'?" Lucas's gaze averted toward her. Joy shook her head. "Well, it's about a dude who becomes quadriplegic and his life sucks because he can't do the things he wants to do with this girl he likes."

"It's just a sad romance movie Laura forced me to watch once," Lucas added in a mutter.

Lucas expected Joy to have something to say about that. This girl always had something to say, whether it was about Lucas's concerning choice of chocolate, the weather, the perimeter of a juice box, or just anything in general that happened to catch her interest.

And somehow now, she wasn't saying anything, instead filling the silence with the occasional hum or nod.

"I'm not really the type to watch those kinds of films," She said shortly.

"Really? I thought you would like that movie." Lucas said, not thinking about what was coming out of his mouth before he could regulate it. "I got the idea, you know, that you have a boyfriend."

"Oh? You think? Now, why'd you get that idea?" Suddenly, Joy's voice lowered the cheer from before fading. Lucas clamped his mouth shut as he licked his dry lips.

"Well, you're on your phone texting. A lot. Jake mentioned today about you always being busy. You don't seem like the type to spend time with family, so I just guessed." He said slowly, peering at Joy carefully.

Lucas swallowed, noticing how the latter looked down, clutching her fist tight. "Do you uh- have a boyfriend?" It wasn't really his forte to keep the conversation from dying and crashing. And Joy wasn't being that helpful.

"Do you care if I have a boyfriend?" The smirk in her tone almost caught Lucas off guard.

"Why- What?"

"Does it bother you? That I may have a boyfriend." Joy chuckled slowly.

"What? You are miscalculating the question, dude." Lucas puffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I am just asking."

"Well," Joy snorted. "I do. You solved the case, Sherlock." Her sentence was supposed to be teasing, but Lucas couldn't deny how bitter it sounded.

"That's good." At that, the two of them were in the parking lot of the hospital.

"Andrews?" Joy breathed out.

"Yeah?" Lucas murmured.

"I don't want to talk about my boyfriend anymore."

"Okay." He said. "So he's hypothetical then?"

"Oh fuck you."

"That's not very nice." Lucas took out the set of keys from his pocket walking a bit faster than Joy. He glanced back at Joy to make sure she wasn't mad at him because if she was, then he didn't know what to do with that possibility.

Luckily she wasn't, or well, Lucas assumed she wasn't. Assumptions were never really Lucas's best suit. But that was the case with many things in his life.

Lucas opened his mouth to explain but Joy cut him to it. "Oh my god! Is it yours?!" She exclaimed as they reached a particular motorcycle.

"Yep, I used to love this baby when I was y'know healthy," Lucas said handing her one of the helmets.

"You're gonna teach me how to drive?" Her eyes flew wide open with excitement.

"Thought it'd be better to do it early while I am still mobile," Lucas nodded, walking towards her as she struggled with the buckle of the helmet.

"Why would you say that?" Joy asked, watching as Lucas swatted her hands off and clasped the buckle of her helmet for her.

"You know... I don't have the best future. I thought we already covered that," Lucas said, straddling the old Harley, he hadn't ridden in over a year, the engine rumbling beneath him. "But I'll let you know if I feel like shit. So far it's not too bad."

"I believe you. You know your limits." Joy muttered, her attention fixated on the motorcycle.

Lucas wanted to hate this girl. He did, but when he met her gaze, there was no telling where his hatred stood. He wasn't sure if his hatred was even standing. It was more like it was stumbling to get up, and every time Joy shot him a witty smile, it fell all over again.

There wasn't any trace of anger from their previous conversation, or a single edge in her light words as they stared at one another in silence.

But Lucas did notice one thing: Joy was easy. Not that kind of easy, but rather Joy was a simple person. Her expressions were difficult to figure out, there was no denying that.

What made Joy so easy was... was what? Lucas didn't know. He just didn't have the words to describe it because there was nothing to describe without sounding like an idiot. She was just easy and simple- and that was it.

"So, how do I start it?" Joy asked practically jumping in delight.

"You don't," he deadpanned. "I do. And then I cross my fingers and hope you don't kill us both."

Joy rolled her eyes. "Aren't you the most supportive teacher?"

"Listen, I'm just saying that motorcycles are, you know, dangerous." Lucas said, glancing at her helmet and then at her, "You don't even know how to put on a helmet right."

She shrugged, patting her head with an exaggerated seriousness. "My skull's pretty thick."

Lucas just rolled his eyes, "Alright, but if your skull cracks open then don't blame me," He swung his leg over the bike and settled onto the seat, patting the space behind him. "Get on, and I'll show you how it works."

With that, he revved the engine, the familiar vibration sending a jolt through him. Joy squealed—an honest-to-God squeal—and he rolled his eyes, gripping the handlebars.

"Alright, the controls," he started as Joy peaked over his shoulders. "Right hand's the throttle; this is your brake. Left hand's the clutch. Got it?"

Joy was leaning around him, trying to get a look at every single piece he pointed out like she was going to memorize it all right now. "Throttle, brake, clutch," she repeated. "Got it. Which one makes it go really fast?"

He gave her a long, hard look from the rearview mirror. "None of them, because we're not 'going really fast.' We're going at a speed suitable for—"

"For us to not hit a wall and crack our skull open." she interrupted, grinning up at him. "Got it."

He rolled his eyes, releasing the clutch slightly to get the bike moving at a crawl. "There. Not so shabby, right?" he said, glancing back at her.

She didn't answer, which he took as a small victory. For a moment, he just rode, focusing on the hum of the bike beneath them, the wind pressing against his face, and the strange, unexpected thrill of riding the bike after so long drilling him on.

He forgot how much fun he used to have riding this thing around, showing it off to people and hearing Laura go on and on about how dangerous it was. He missed it. The thrill, the release, the sound, and everything in between.

After a few minutes, he slowed the bike to a stop and turned off the engine. "Alright, your turn," he said, sliding off and gesturing for her to take the seat.

Lucas crouched beside her, keeping his voice steady. "First, remember: the bike's going to feel way too heavy, so keep a strong grip here—" he reached around her hands, gently adjusting her hold on the handlebars "—and sit back in the seat. Your balance is everything."

"Got it," she murmured, her voice sounding way more focused than usual.

He stepped back, watching her posture, trying not to let the nervous energy spread. "Good. Now, kick up the stand, and don't hit the throttle until I tell you."

Joy gave a small nod, her expression determined. She flipped up the stand, a little wobbly but still holding her ground. The engine roared to life, and she flinched, her hands tightening around the bars.

"Relax," he said, amused, stepping closer. "You look like you're about to wrestle it."

"Feels like it's about to wrestle me," she muttered.

He chuckled, moving around to sit behind her on the bike, wrapping his arms around her as he gripped the handlebars himself. The space between them was barely there and Lucas could feel her back brushing against his chest. 

"Okay," he said, his voice coming out a bit lower than he'd meant. "Now, we're going to do this together. I'll just make sure you don't get us killed, okay?"

"Funny," she replied, but she sounded more breathless than sarcastic.

He guided her hands again, holding the handlebars with her, but keeping his grip loose enough for her to feel in control. "Alright, slowly ease onto the throttle. Don't go too fast—just enough to feel it move."

Joy nodded, her fingers trembling just slightly under his. She twisted the throttle, the bike giving a low rumble as it rolled forward. She let out a nervous laugh, and Lucas could feel the tension start to leave her shoulders.

"See? Not too bad," he murmured, leaning closer to speak in her ear. "As long as you don't do anything too crazy, we won't end up as roadkill."

"Good to know," she breathed, her voice almost a whisper.

They moved forward, slowly circling the garage, with him guiding her hands and watching as she gained confidence. Each time the bike picked up speed, he could feel her heartbeat picking up a pace too.

Although Lucas didn't know why he was holding his breath. He tried his best to guide Joy while the bike was somewhat moving. It was slow at first, with Joy testing the waters as though she finally reached the shore, her gaze watching as the tide pools around her toes.

And when the tide grew stronger, enveloping her ankles, she looked over her shoulder and she wasn't alone. Even though the waters were moving faster, and rougher, she was still standing upright.

Lucas would be there. With all those nasty glares, offending comments, and calming praises. Occasionally he would slowly nod, urging her to wade forward, to let the water swallow her.

"You're getting the hang of it," Lucas's voice lulled her out of the jumbled thoughts in her mind, and it didn't take long for Joy to realize that she was driving. Actually driving.

"Holy shit," Joy whispered, following Lucas's guidance as she turned the handle, the bike following in suit. "Holy mother forking shirt balls."

It wasn't much, and she certainly wasn't perfect, but it was something.

She wasn't failing like how Lucas thought it would end up because of how badly he may have instructed. Perhaps it stroked his ego just a little bit. Who was he kidding? It definitely fed his ego.

"You are a natural!" Lucas mused when they rounded the parking lot yet again. "Look at you go Jones!" He laughed wholeheartedly. For the first time in a while.

Perhaps any other time he would immediately put out a snarky comment just to make sure Joy wouldn't catch his laugh but for now? Lucas only smiled brighter but there was nothing bitter, nothing worth igniting a spark of frustration because there wasn't anything to burn.

It was weird, being like this. It was weird how his lips wobbled, though not in the way where his eyes burned but his eyes were scrunched in smiles of their own. It was weird laughing and the noise that followed didn't sound like a strangled cry.

The usual vice grip in his chest was gone, instead of being replaced by the swell of his heart beating relentlessly against his chest. It strangely reminded him that he was still alive, that this wasn't the end.

"Man, you think you can give me a ride home?" Lucas asked, whistling when Joy managed to park the bike successfully without much error.

"No," Joy replied breathlessly, setting the bike in the park with a jerk. Lucas got off, his hands shaking a little. "I don't think I'm ready for that."

"You sure? You just conquered the parking lot!" He chuckled.

"You're so stupid," Joy rolled her eyes, a laugh soon following. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed Lucas's smirk widen impossibly more.

"But I'm telling the truth!" Lucas said taking off his helmet. "I will let you borrow this baby so you can practice,"

"Dude, why do you want me to drive so bad?" Joy's gaze narrowed as she got off herself. "Don't tell me you're gonna use me as some designated driver."

"Huh? No? It's on your list, Jones," Lucas reminded her. Joy's lips curved into an oval.

"Well anyway, I had a good time," Lucas stated.

"So you admit it? You like hanging out with me, don't you?" Joy teased, suddenly dropping her hand to tug over at Lucas's sleeve. "Aren't you happy that Jake paired us?"

Lucas rolled his eyes, the mood from earlier completely being killed once he remembered how irritating Joy was.

Whatever he was thinking originally was a product of the good feeling adrenaline produced, therefore all that poetic things in his mind created and retched out was an unfortunate, cringy side effect.

"You like me, don't you?" Joy tugged his arm again. Lucas faced her, eyeing the girl up and down with an unimpressed grimace.

"I think you're moving a little too fast," He settled with, teeth fumbling with his bottom lip.

"I like jumping to conclusions," Joy replied. "I just wanna hear you call me your friend."

"Why?" He played it off like a joke to see if Joy would meme him back, but instead, she spared him another one of her smiles that she handed out like candy. The good kind of candy. Not exactly cheap but sweet enough to be satisfying. To want another piece.

"Because you're interesting." There it was again. The pang in his chest. The roll of his own eyes and the half-smile, half-grimace that faltered upon his lips because words like that shouldn't be tossed around so carelessly.

Words are strong. It either breaks you as a whole or builds you up. Words shouldn't be tossed around like cheap candies.

"It won't be long before you start hating me," Lucas said wryly, gaze never leaving her.

Joy's stare was unrelenting in itself as her teeth teased upon her trademark witty smile, "Would it be bad to say that I would never?"

"You know what's gonna happen." This is all going to end.

"But do I care?" You should.

"C'mon," Lucas murmured. You need to.

"I'm not going anywhere," Joy said. We can't keep going on like this forever.

"Let's go back to the hospital?" You're stupid.

"Yeah," He nodded, walking behind her. You're so incredibly stupid.

"Until next time then maybe you'll admit it." There won't be a next time eventually.

"In your dreams," Lucas scoffed, giving her an incredibly nasty look, though deep down he knew Joy was well aware.

"We are making progress."

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: