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Joy stood behind Lucas gently rubbing his back as he clutched the toilet bowl, body hunched over as he retched the contents of his stomach into the poor unsuspecting thing.

"Hey," Joy said uneasily, handing him a wad of paper towels when Lucas let out a dry cough. "At least you didn't puke on anyone's tits!"

Lucas snatched the paper towel while giving her a nasty glare. She flushed the toilet, whistling a little tune as she went about helping him like it was a normal thing to oversee your friend vomiting their soul out.

"You don't think this is weird or anything?" He asked, throat raw as he dumped the paper towels into the trash bin. Joy shook her head, helping him back to his feet.

"Nah," She said, following him to the sink. "I expected something like this to happen someday."

"How considerate," Lucas said as he washed his hands in the sink, internally cringing at the fact he held a toilet bowl with his bare hands. The things you gotta do when you are sick.

"Oh you know it," Joy patted his shoulder, ignoring the heavy dose of sarcasm his sentence held. "It's no biggie though. Sometimes you just got to stand by and help your friend vomit."

Lucas met Joy's gaze in the mirror. He scowled at her, only to be given a crooked smirk in return and a thumbs-up. He rolled his eyes, but before he could focus on scrubbing toilet germs away, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, and — it did not look good.

There were good and bad days. There was no doubt that today was the latter, and it was reflected in his face.

His features seemed hollow and gaunt. The color of his skin was a sickly mix of white that glistened with a thin sheen of sweat. The dark shadows that cast beneath his eyes were more prominent in this state, and, he hated every single part of it.

"You good Andrews?" Lucas hated how soft her voice was. Part of him wanted to shout at her to shut up and leave, but deep down he just wanted her to stay.

Lucas grimaced and dried his hands off on yet another paper towel. He could feel Joy's eyes on him, probably waiting for his reaction, the worry settling into the already dense atmosphere.

"Can we forget this happened?" Lucas asked after the two of them walked out of the bathroom.

"Sure, if that's what you wanna do," Joy snaked her hand and snapped her fingers. "Bam! I already forgot it."

"God, you're ridiculous," Lucas snorted as Joy smiled feebly at him.

"No, I'm not. But just 'coz you said that I'm sending good vibes your way, Andrews," Joy raised her hands and wiggled them in his direction. Lucas lifted an unimpressed eyebrow at her.

"The vibes are coming," She teased, reaching over and ruffling his hair. He yelped, swatting at her to stop, only to provoke her more. "There's nothing you can do to stop them~!"

"Fuck you, man," Lucas swatted her away with one last sway, but there was no hiding the smile that unfurled over his lips. "That's probably the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up."

"So you admit I'm cheering you up?" Joy chuckled, coming to a stop, and leaned against the wall before the two could turn and head to the hospital lobby.

Lucas chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest, "What? No? I'm just saying that that's the scariest way to cheer someone up. Threaten them with good vibes."

"But what if Veronica threatened you?" She raised a thick eyebrow at him, her voice lowering.

"I told you, nothing happened," Lucas rolled his eyes, hating how his neck flushed with this gross warmth for absolutely no reason.

"I know, you prude. You just held her hand," Joy teased, pushing him back.

Lucas scowled, "I'm not a prude. I didn't think it was right to kiss her."

"You're a wimp."

"I didn't want to kiss her."

"Okay," Joy snorted lightly. "But you had fun."

"Yeah, in a friendly hang-out sense," He grumbled.

"And you wouldn't mind if she threatened you with a good time," She continued to tease him with that same sheepish grin.

"Well maybe, but why would she threaten me?" He snorted softly. "I wouldn't be threatened anyway."

"But I threatened you?" Joy smirked. "And are you also implying that you don't have fun with me?"

"Whoa, hold your horses. This isn't about you. I never said that" Lucas rolled his eyes.

"You didn't answer my question," Joy mused.

"Because there's no question to be answered," Lucas countered. Right before he could turn and ditch her, Joy reached out, her fingers wrapping around his wrist as she tugged at him, a little too harshly.

"Hey!" Lucas yelped, almost bumping into her. The hand she wasn't holding bumped into the wall behind her as a frown came along his brows and lips.

It was a mistake for Lucas to glance down at her. He gulped thickly, his breath stuttering from their proximity. He could feel her hair softly sliding against his arms and their legs brushing against each other 

He never liked peering into people's faces, mostly because when you see someone in that proximity, you would see it all. All their imperfections, their quirks— their vulnerabilities.

There was no protecting yourself, no warning. It was like free-falling, and there was no way to tell if there would be an end.

And when he did look at Joy, an end didn't seem possible with so much to see.

It was more evident that Joy wasn't anything like she was, in a sense that she looked alive and full of warmth, all things Lucas could never be even if he tried. And yet he couldn't make himself look away. 

He studied the sun kissed blush on her honey skin, the little cratered scar nestled on the round apple of her cheek, and the tiny beauty mark that blemished the tip of her nose.

And what made it worse was that Joy was staring right back at him, and he couldn't help but wonder: what was going through her mind?

Did she see too much of him? Too little? Was she repulsed?

"Wh- what? Jeez, what's gotten into you?" Lucas stammered as he tried to move away and play it off.

Joy only let out a strained laugh awkwardly, looking down at her feet as they both started walking side by side. 

The weather was colder than usual and the cold breeze passed right through them as Joy shivered a bit. Lucas spared a glance at her.

"Joy?"

"Huh?" She said and cleared her throat as if a lump was stuck constricting sound to come out.

"It's cold. You don't have a jacket," Lucas murmured. 

"And?" She watched as Lucas held a finger up and shrugged off his jacket.

"You— what?" Joy spat out, stunned. She didn't tussle when Lucas brought his jacket around her shoulders, leaving her with no choice but to slide her arms into it.

"Don't get sick, okay?" Lucas's voice was hushed, the gentleness in his tone an incredible contrast to him previously.

"I will try,"

"I know," He said, adjusting the collar to the black jacket, and this time, his gaze refused to meet her confused one. The jacket was heavy on her frame but it was warm, warmer than the turtleneck she was wearing.

The scent screamed Lucas, a heady whiff of body wash, apple, and detergent all in one dizzying inhale.

Lucas's head filled with Veronica's words as the two walked towards the exit of the hospital without any word. 

If they're willing to stay with you until the horrible end, they're worth living with. He couldn't shake off Veronica's words just like that. Spending every day with someone was a whole different circumstance. He started his day with Joy, and sometimes end his day with her. It was all the same either way.

At first, she was weird and annoying, and Lucas wanted nothing more but to be alone. It was honestly funny how time worked, how being able to feel, to live changed things. He was used to her by now, and sometimes he'd laugh, smile even, because as stupid as he felt, Joy made sure to make him feel like less of an idiot.

It was always the little things that caught him off guard that made him want to care. It was the little things that people always forgot, that people tossed aside like it was nothing when they were something.

Joy was something, and Veronica made him realize that. Joy meant something, and that— that terrified him.

"What's going on in that big head of yours, Lucas?" Joy suddenly asked, feeling herself become smaller in Lucas's jacket.

"Nothing," Lucas grumbled, but Joy could see through his lie. Of course she could.

"Sure. Whatever it is, know that I am here to listen if you ever wanna lay those down."

"I wasn't thinking about anything," He spoke up, trying his best to get a grip of his thoughts.

"Okay," She rolled her eyes. "Anyways, wanna hear my plans for today?"

"What's your plan?" He felt the tension in his shoulder ease at the familiarity of Joy's tone.

"We are gonna do something from the bucket list." Joy beamed. 

"We are gonna do something you are afraid of letting me do," Joy beamed, nudging his side as they turned the corner towards the hallways. Lucas opened his mouth to speak back, but before he could, a familiar face caught his eyes.

"What?" Joy asked when Lucas deflated. He gulped, jutting his chin over to the person waiting for Joy.

"Did you forget something?" He shifted awkwardly. Joy whipped her head towards where Lucas was staring, ready to shoot him down with a joke, but the moment she saw who it was, the joke dissolved on her tongue.

Her boyfriend waved at them when Joy's gaze finally settled on him. He didn't look as angry as he was last time. In fact, he was smiling and it only made him even more good looking than he already was. Lucas ripped his gaze away from him and to the ground.

"Oh," Joy ran a hand down her face, a shaky sigh escaping past her lips. "Right. I forgot. After today's group session, Noah was taking me out."

"On a date?" Lucas finished dryly.

Joy nodded, "Yeah. A date. But I'll be back in a few hours if you still wanna try."

"Nah, you should spend time with your boyfriend," He waved her off. Something unreadable flickered over Joy's features.

"You sure?"

"Go have fun with your boyfriend." Lucas pushed Joy forward.

"I'll see you soon then. Call me tonight, okay?" Joy grinned, waving goodbye to him.

"Probably," He gave her a small smile, but it was too late. She was already jogging toward her boyfriend.

Lucas stood there alone, stomach churning as he watched Noah wrap his arm around Joy waist and draw her close.

He couldn't watch anymore without feeling like a creep once the couple kissed. Lucas simply coughed awkwardly into his fist, wrapping his arms around himself feeling the cold breeze. He turned towards the elevators, guessing he'd kill time at Laura's office. 

Joy might have meant something to him, but she wasn't everything. Or well, that was what he told himself as he went back alone, trying to ignore the shiver that reminded him of her.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

How the hell was Lucas supposed to call her?

Okay, he knew he had to use a phone, but when was the right time to call someone? It was already pretty late, and so Joy should be back at her place. There was also the fact that she said she would only be out for a couple hours, and since it had been a few hours, naturally he should call.

Or, well, maybe text. But Joy didn't tell him to text so wouldn't that be weird? No? Yes? He really didn't know.

"Go to bed soon, alright Luc?" Laura stood at the entrance of his bedroom, leaning against the door frame. Lucas was sitting on the ledge of his window sill, staring at his phone in his palm. Luckily, Laura didn't question him.

"You got another test tomorrow. If you don't sleep, you're gonna be feeling like crap all day," Laura said.

"I'll sleep, don't worry," He grumbled.

"If you're expecting a call, that's fine," She gestured at his phone. "But sleep. They're going to draw a lot of blood tomorrow, just a head's up."

"I know," Lucas waved her off. "You act like I don't know anything." He half-heartedly joked.

"Well that's because you're still my kid that needs reminding." Laura rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll stop bothering you. Goodnight, kid."

"Night," His voice faded away as he looked over at the time on his phone. It was almost eight.

Maybe he should call her now. He squeezed his phone. It was now or never, and who knows, maybe Joy was expecting him to call. Taking in a deep breath, Lucas summoned the remaining bits of his will, knowing this was going to horribly dent his ego.

He hovered over Joy's contact, swallowing thickly. He could do this. It was just a call. And even if he were to start the call, Joy would probably spend the entire time talking anyway. All he had to do was start it- easy peasy.

But before he could give himself another pep talk, his thumb slipped and pressed the button.

Lucas scrambled to end the call, nearly falling onto his bedroom floor in the process. He gulped, the lump in his throat ever so tight as the call ended. He hoped that didn't go through.

"Get a fucking grip," He muttered, getting ready to call her again. It was just a phone call, not rocket science. Why was he getting so worked up over this?

Lucas clicked Joy's contact again, and this time let it ring. He nodded slowly, hearing the drawn out beeps echo from the speaker. But his shoulders steadily deflated when the call wasn't answered.

Was Joy already asleep? He looked back at their old texts, seeing that Joy did text him that she was back at her home.

Eyebrows furrowing he rung her. Again. Then Again.

Lucas exhaled unevenly as he ran both his hands down his face, wanting to scream internally. This was what happened when you didn't receive any human affection for months. You'd get confused over the small things and think they meant more than what they really were.

Man, he was a fool. A hopeless pathetic fool. He was so bothered and it wasn't even for a valid reason.

Lucas got off the ledge and went back to his bed, flopping onto his duvet with no will to exist. He clutched his pillows, hugging them close to his chest as he stared at the empty ceiling.

He closed his eyes shut, forcing his throbbing heart to settle down. This was painfully ridiculous.

Lucas didn't know how much time passed or whether he fell asleep because it was still dark out when his phone suddenly pinged. The sound made him flinch. Groggily, he tossed onto his side, peering across the darkness to see his phone illuminated on the floor.

He tugged himself off his bed to go fetch it. He crawled across the ground, eyes squinting tight as he snatched his phone. When he did glimpse at the time, his eyes shot open. It was three in the morning.

When he checked through his messages, his stomach plummeted when he saw who it was.

WEIRD KITKAT LADY

I'm outside ur house

Open the door

Dude get UP

It was Joy. Lucas scowled, debating whether he should ignore her or not. But judging by the fact that it was three in the morning he decided to reply

LUCAS

I'm sleeping

Joy texted back fast

WEIRD KITKAT LADY

Not anymore. Open up

LUCAS

Why

WERID KITKAT LADY

I feel bad so we're going on an adventure

LUCAS

Did u look at the time?

Couldn't u just wait till the morning?

WEIRD KITKAT LADY

Can't sleep. Feel infinite.

Less goooo

LUCAS

No

WEIRD KITKAT LADY

I'll buy u snickers

LUCAS

No

WEIRD KITKAT LADY

I will let u cuss me out and let u play ur playlist

LUCAS

Maybe

WEIRD KITKAT LADY

I will not do whatever u want

Just come the fuck down

LUCAS

Let me get dressed. Wait

WEIRD KITKAT LADY

Wooooo :)))

Lucas shook his head and stood to his feet, a smile playing on his lips as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

As he creeped out of his room and down the stairs, he knew this was probably not a good idea.

He was already confused, but when he ran out of his house and down to where Joy stood something in him shifted. Maybe it was because of the early morning that embraced him with this stark, icy breeze that made his cheeks and lungs sting. Or perhaps it was the surge of adrenaline pumping through his veins, reminding him that he was alive.

He didn't just care. And all of his worries faded away when he joined Joy in his car, seeing that same annoying smile on her lips.

This was the first time in a while someone beside his aunt genuinely cared about him, and even though this could go wrong in multiple ways, he would worry about that later.

Like what Veronica said, he should be enjoying things while it lasted. For now, all he wanted was to have the feeling being alive. He wanted to live. Not just exist but live with Joy Jones at his side because one thing was for sure.

This made him happy.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: