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The date felt like any other date.

They went to the cinema like every other couple their age. The two of them took their seat in the theatre and watched some film about a zombie apocalypse that Lucas could honestly care less about, but the glow of interest in Veronica's eyes gave him some willpower to get through it.

When the movie finished, they went over to the arcade, talked a bit, and Lucas watched himself get brutally destroyed at every game. His weak muscle mass and poor stamina did not do him any good, and as irritating as it was, he hid his frustration behind a forced smile.

As they went about, Veronica ended up telling him about herself. She was a college student working part-time in that restaurant. She had a younger sister, and her parents were very supportive of her dream of being a professional chef one day.

She had this dreamy look to her, and every time she spoke of her passions, Lucas could feel the dedication oozing out of her little hand gestures. She stumbled over a few words out of nervousness and giggled them off, but damn, was she captivating.

However, Veronica chipped away at his ego when she won him something. It was a cute little duck plushy, and she told him it reminded her of him.

Pretty sweet, if you asked him. Maybe that tickled his heart just a little. Other than that, nothing else really excited him.

Oh, and yeah— they held hands. He guessed he had to do something romantic, seeing that people probably thought he was some charity case being guided around by his sweet older sister.

It was a misunderstanding he wasn't keen on keeping up. Besides the potential incest scare, holding her hand wasn't too bad. Although, he felt a bit ridiculous. Kind of like a preteen getting all flustered over minimal skin-on-skin contact.

Maybe flustered wasn't a good word. It just felt odd. His hand was bigger than hers, and unlike his touch, her hand was warm. Very, very warm. It was a breeding ground for sweat, and Lucas wasn't sure whether to let go and wipe his palm on his jeans or endure the pain.

He decided to proceed with the latter. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, seeing that this was already a pretty bad date. So bad it was obvious he hadn't felt the touch of a woman in many moons.

It had been a while; that was for sure. The last time he did something romantic was a few years ago. By now, he was as inexperienced as a middle schooler— talk about a dent in ego.

His stomach was like a messy stack of building blocks, and every time her petite shoulder brushed against his or she gave their intertwined, damp hands a light squeeze, his little tower of dignity crumbled.

Lucas was dying inside. Every second that ticked away felt like ripping a bandage slowly until the stinging drove him insane. It wasn't her fault, oh no. Veronica was sweet. Almost perfect.

Something was wrong with him.

Maybe she was too sweet. Yeah, probably. She never got mad, and she was rarely impatient.

Even when Lucas would make a snarky remark or aggressively smack the controls of a game machine, she would smile at him like he performed some poetic love sonnet and hadn't just crudely insulted the claw machine for being a lousy, bitchface money stealer.

She treated him too nicely. She laughed too sweetly. She spoke like a goddamn Disney princess. He was finding all of the reasons why she was too good for him as if they were Easter eggs and he was the Easter bunny.

Everything was going so right. He was enjoying himself enough to genuinely smile and even laugh without sounding like he was strangling himself. She was more kind and more amazing the more he got to know her and yet...

He hated it. He hated every second of it because Lucas knew this wasn't right. None of this felt right just because he felt like he didn't deserve any of this.

She, of all people, didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve some dying guy like him when others would live longer and appreciate her and give her what he couldn't.

It was frustrating that all he could think about was how he was going to die and that this girl would have her entire life, her dreams put on hold when it was his time to go.

The second those thoughts filled his head, the light airiness in his chest faded into this dreadful heaviness; Lucas just wasn't feeling it anymore.

"You got something on your mind?" Veronica swung their hands between them as the duo strolled across the bustling streets. It was already dark, the city was alive, its congested highways and glowing streets pulsing with one massive heartbeat.

He inhaled sharply, taking in the crisp evening air, gaze whizzing around the streets as he scrambled for some excuse. Veronica stopped walking, pulling him off the busy streets and to the side where the two of them wouldn't disrupt the crowd's steady flow.

He didn't know how to put it without sounding offensive. This girl didn't deserve his snarky comments, but he couldn't just stand there like a complete fool.

"It's just," His voice trailed off as he glanced down at their intertwined hands. "It's something stupid." The breath he took in trapped itself inside his throat.

"I doubt that it is," Veronica said, squeezing his hand. "What's bothering you? I noticed it a bit ago. You just kinda checked out, y'know what I mean?"

"Yeah. Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I swear you're like, not boring me," Lucas stammered, his other hand reaching to the cup at the side of his neck. "I'm having fun."

"And so am I," She tilted her head a little to the side, trying to get him to meet her eyes. Gulping, he whipped his head the other way.

God, he couldn't even look her in the eye.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked as she nodded. "Did you...Did you think I was lying when I said I was going to die?"

"What?" His stomach plummeted at her response. "Oh, wait, I remember you telling me that. No, not at all. You sounded very sincere, so I believed you."

Wait, what?

Lucas's eyes splayed wide, "You know I'm gonna die soon?" She nodded again. "Then why did you say yes?"

"Because I could see how desperate you were."

His lips crumpled into a frown. Veronica realized her words. Surprise flickered over her soft features, but following right after, she merely laughed and shook her head.

"Wait, I didn't mean it like that dummy. I meant I saw how desperate you were to make your friend happy, so I went along with it," Veronica explained. "You have a really good friend. I can tell she only wants the best for you, and I had a feeling she'd be disappointed if I said no."

"So you only said yes to make my friend happy?" His eyes narrowed. Veronica snorted.

"No! I said 'yes' because I wanted to," She assured him by squeezing his hand. "You're pretty cute, and you seemed nice compared to the dozens of other creeps who ask me out. I did this because I wanted to. Not because of your friend or because I pity you."

"Oh," Lucas whispered, blinking. She was too good to be true. "Oh."

"Yeah. Since I also knew you were gonna die, I saw this date as a friendly one, y'know? Like two single people just going out and having fun. People forget girls and boys can do that from time to time."

"My god, you're amazing," He said without realizing it, and when he did, her face flushed a pretty shade of pink. Veronica smiled at him, her eyes twinkling, and he swore her pupils were like tiny little stars.

"Thank you. I think you're amazing too. And even though you have a short time here, you can make someone feel less lonely," She said.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I know so. You're very fun to be around. It's a privilege that I got to know you!" At that, his neck flooded with heat. "Like I've been so stressed out, spending time with you made me relax."

"Are you just pulling my leg now?" He mumbled shyly, staring hard at the ground as he willed the heat in his neck to subdue. She let out another bubbly laugh.

"Nah, I'm not," Veronica chuckled sweetly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "But I mean it. And oh, I've been meaning to ask you this too. I know you make a lot of jokes, but are you okay with dying?"

At that, he tensed, his hand going limp in hers.

Luckily, Veronica noticed. "Wait— you don't have to answer. I'm sorry, my question was probably super rude when all you've been was kind to—,"

"—It's fine," Lucas swallowed thickly, giving her a sheepish smile. Veronica frowned, and, he had to stop befriending people who smiled so much that anything other than a grin looked horribly out of place on them.

"It's not something I like to think about," He said coolly. It might have been part of the truth but at least it wasn't a complete lie. Hopefully, it was enough of an answer for her.

Thankfully, it was. "I don't blame you. I had a friend that also died, except she— you know." She didn't have to say anything more. The silence was enough.

"She passed away a few months ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Lucas's mouth ran dry.

"Oh, it's fine," Veronica waved it off. "I'm fine now. But I just... I just can't help but wonder what people think when they know they're going to die. Like, so many people say stuff like, 'Live life to the fullest! You only have so much time left, use it right!' But I honestly don't think that's what people should do."

"What do you mean by that?" He asked. Veronica shrugged, huddling closer to Lucas when a gust of wind rustled over them.

"I mean that society nowadays tells you that your life isn't well-lived unless you do something grand," She murmured.

"I feel that people who are going to die don't think about it in that way all the time. Sure, maybe some go and do crazy things, but what about the rest? What about the people who can't leave their bed or their home? What about those who are thinking of killing themselves and the idea of doing something, even breathing, is too painful for them?"

"By then, would you tell them, 'go skydiving' or 'go on a trip'?"

"You make a good point," Lucas murmured. "I never thought of it that way." He added, honesty softening his tone.

He glanced out ahead toward the street, observing the glimmering city lights and the steady trickle of bodies. Among the crowd were lovers, friends, and even lonesome individuals wandering throughout the night. Even though it was cold, there was this warmth he hadn't noticed until now— the lights, the simultaneous chatter, the presence of people.

"You never know what someone's going through," She continued, hooking their arms together. "Like how I don't know your struggles, you don't know mine. Or that couple. Or that vendor. I feel like everyone has their unique definition of a meaningful life and an opinion on death."

"How would you feel if you only had only a few months?" Lucas asked her, feeling her head lean against his shoulder.

"I honestly don't know," Veronica replied. "Maybe I'd be sad. I don't think I would go on a trip."

"Why's that?"

She shrugged. "I love my family, Lucas. I love my friends. If I was going to die, I wouldn't dwell on that. I know all my relationships would come to an end eventually, but why would I stop them now? I feel I'd regret not showing my parents I loved them over missing a trip to a foreign country," She looked up at him, her eyes fixed on him.

"As much as it hurts, this is a time when you can choose. If you want to be alone, that's fine, but if someone wants to stay with you, let them stay, and love them," She stressed, staring right into his gaze.

"Because, Lucas, if they're willing to stay with you until the horrible end, they're worth living with."

Lucas didn't say anything, instead, let the weight of her words settle over him. He couldn't quite say the same thing about his own life. He didn't have many friends. The only friend that decided to stick by him was Joy.

But all he had was his aunt. Being dumped on her at such an age wasn't ideal. It was rocky starting to live with her. She didn't understand how to take care of him and words, words were hard. The people at school weren't very nice either, finding all kinds of ways to alienate him, to make him feel smaller than he already was.

He always had to force his way in, and when he thought he finally made it somewhere where he belonged, where he was wanted— they'd kick him out. And, it would feel like a punch to the gut or a slap to the face.

It would sting, and the ache that followed was permanent; a bitter reminder that he wouldn't have anything in the end. That nobody would care, and everything he wanted would forever be out of reach.

He got stuck in a loop. Bad habits. Bad friends. Bad people who didn't have room, and he tried to fit in but would eventually fall out.

Then he got sick. Doctor appointments replaced school. Solitude was easier than having to face his peers. The effort he put into his looks was gone, dwindling day by day as he grew sicker and sicker.

If everyone had an opinion on their death, Lucas was that he wanted it to happen. He wanted nothing more than to die.

He wanted to see the end and leave behind the fleeting fragments of his memories that were never really memories, to begin with. They were just unfinished, unwanted scenes, discarded because they would never make it into the main movie. The people were nothing but blurry faces, ruined film.

There was no point in life if what you were doing didn't feel like living.

At least, that was what he originally clung to until Lucas finally got to experience what living could feel like. With Joy.

For once, there was no sting or ache, and this time, he was wanted. He had something, and though it was thrust onto him without him ever wanting it in the first place, it was still something. Even if it wasn't for so long, was it still possible?

"You're right," Lucas whispered, turning to look down at her. "I'd regret that too."

"Really?" He nodded. "Well, I mean I just believe it's better to appreciate the things you have. You don't need a life-changing trip to appreciate the people who genuinely care. Even if you don't have long, your time isn't over with them yet."

"That's also true," Lucas murmured. "Not only are you cute and amazing, but you're also smart too."

Veronica made a face, "Don't do that. D-Don't just compliment me out of nowhere." At that, he smiled bashfully at the ground, a gentle chuckle slipping past his lips.

"I'm just doing what you told me to," Lucas said matter-of-factly. "I'm just appreciating the people who care."

"You're a smooth bastard, Lucas Andrews!" She beamed.

"I try," He replied with a grin.

With that, the two ended up calling it a night and decided to walk to the bus stop. It was late, so there weren't many people riding with them. When they returned to the hospital, albeit in silence, the air between them remained comfortable.

After all, he was merely doing what Veronica told him to do— enjoying the company of the people who truly care about him.

There was no need to force anything when someone welcomed you with open arms.

He walked her to her car in the hospital parking lot. They didn't hold hands, but they huddled close, letting the comfortable silence sit over them like a blanket. It was nice. This warmth swelled in Lucas's chest.

"Thank you for tonight," Veronica said when they got to her car.

"No problem," He responded. "Thank you."

"I hope you get to live out the next few months the way you want to," Veronica smiled up at him. "I'll see you around, yeah? Keep in touch?"

"Will do ma'am," He teased, giving her a salute. She chuckled, shaking her head as her eyes crinkled.

"Okay," She reached up, her small hands placed on either side of Lucas's face. She had to get onto her tip-toes, but it was alright. It was endearing.

"Be happy, alright?" She gently brought his head down so she could place her lips over his forehead.

"I'll try," He whispered, feeling her smile tingle against his skin. "Take care, Veronica."

"Goodbye Lucas." She kissed his forehead, letting her lips linger for a second before pulling away. He stepped back, watching her get into the car.

She waved goodbye one more time, and as he watched her drive away, something inside of him felt different— lighter almost— and he couldn't help but smile at the ground like an idiot.

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