Jaz slams some heavy make up on my face and I don't even bother to warn her as I stare at myself in the mirror when she done and compliments herself with, "this is my best work. You look divine."

Beggars can't be choosers besides I don't care about how I look right especially when I look like Kylie Cosmetic threw up on my face and I don't look like I've been crying, which makes it even better.

We finish up in the powder room and go out, I'm not one for small talks or any talks with Jazzy because she's a big gossip. She knows how I feel about it but that never stops from finding new topics and people to discuss.

"Have you met Nova's fiance, Nate?"

Any talk from that one. Any thing but I know Jazzy well enough to know she won't drop it until I say something that doesn't look suspicious because she can always sense when something is wrong.

She is the person I have to be careful around from this point forward because like I said she's a big gossip and I have no idea how she gets her story, she's like the love child of Gossip girl and Lady Wistledown but instead of her posting online where everyone can read it, she post it on the group chat for Nova and I. Depending on our response, she repeats the same topics to our ear and force us to talk it with her if we don't reply her online. We call her out on it but she's going to University to study journalism, she wants to be a Gossip reporter... If that's a thing. Bottom line is her ears and eyes are sharp, she sees things others can't and I don't want her sniffing around me.

"Yeah, she introduced him to me earlier," I answer without taking too long.

She hooks our hands together, clinging to my side. "He's so hot. Nova is one lucky bitch," she says with excitement and we know all the part that got her excited.

"Yeah. She is," I whisper because saying it out loud would mean that I've accepted it. I mean I have but I'm still in the process of making sense of it.

"Oh, my God, Dawn!" Jaz whisper-yells, the excitement is full on. "There he is, he is hotter when he smile with half lips."

I tilt my head. "Smile with half lips?"

She shrugs and goes on to explain. "Yeah, it something hot guys do, the don't smile with all their face, just half."

It get worse with explanation but I nod like I actually understand what she's talking about.

I follow her gaze to where Hardin and Nova are standing talking to Nova's step dad who is also Jazzy's dad, Steve. The sight is picture perfect, it's beautiful but I can't help what I feel, the sadness that curls in my chest wall at the same sight. Hardin has his arms around her waist with drink on his other hand. I can't hear what they're talking about but from the look on his face, he's enjoying it. He smiles down at Nova and steals a kiss.

"Just look at them, who would have thought Nova is ready to settle down?" I don't think she's asking questions but I answer either way because we used to team up against Nova and if I don't say something she might think something is up.

"Yeah, who would have thought," I whisper, not taking my eyes off them especially now that his hand has moved up, draping her shoulder. "When is the wedding?"

"I don't know, I think they want to have a long engagement but who knows?" She shrugs and adds, "Nova hasn't said anything but she will. She's jetlagged. She won't come to breakfast tomorrow, want to bet?"

"Of course she won't, I know she won't and I'm not betting on something I already know for a fact."

She groans and pinches my side, making me yelp. "Ouch, Jasmine!" I glare at her.

She gives me a wicked smirk and nudge her head to the side. "People are watching, smile so they can notice your make up."

"You pinched me because you want people to notice the rubbish you did on my face?" She knows I don't mean to sound ungrateful and mean. She's used to me just like I'm used to her.

"Didn't look like rubbish when you spend five minutes admiring yourself in the mirror. Dad is coming, and you owe him an apology for making him do dishes with me instead of you."

I didn't spend five minutes admiring myself in the mirror contrary to what she said, I was actually thinking about how to face the crowd with this much make up. And I don't believe for one second that Steve did dishes with her, yeah everyone has chores on family night but never dishes, those are for Nova and I. Thinking about it again. Nova and me haven't been around, so Jaz might be right but I won't put lying past her.

It's true what Jaz said about my yelp getting to people, and they are staring at me, they're staring hard. I know it's the make up. My eyes moves past Steve that's approaching and meet Hardin's across the room, he breaks eye contact the moment I catch him looking, leaning down to whisper to Nova.

Blinking, I focus on Steve who approaches me with open arms. "Here she is, the birthday girl." He stops right when I'm about to go for the hug. "Are you wearing make up?"

"Yeah, I guess I am." I reply with a smile and hug him. Unlike Phoebe who isn't in the family group chat, he is and I think the only person active, always sending famous quotes, encouraging memes and fun stickers. I also haven't seen him in a year but I don't miss seeing his face because he sends his pictures on the group, always asking which one to post. Yeah, he's that kind of dad.

"I miss you kid," he says when we break the hug. "I know you'll be coming around again now that Nova is back," he mentions and looks at her direction briefly, he continues, "I wish you saw this place as your home too. We're your family and don't keep away just because Nova isn't around."

It's a good thing they're all telling me how they feel, now I don't have to assume what they're thinking.

"Trust me dad, I have been telling her," Jazzy adds and pushes me with her hip playfully. "Is her make up beautiful dad? I did it." She asks.

Jazzy is closer with her dad and she values his opinion on everything.

"I did not know that at all," He lies and turn to her with a raise of his eyebrow. "Your make up are always beautiful honey, you made Dawn look like an angel, and since when do you care about it?"

My thoughts exactly. Jasmine is like who I want to be when I grow up, not all parts, the confident part. She wears what she wants and goes out in public in whatever she wants, not giving a toss what people think of her.

"I want start posting some tutorials on Tik Tok and I need to know if it's good enough to post."

Now I see why she's concerned, this is a talk for her and her dad.

"Excuse me, I think Nova is about to say her speech." Anything to get away but it's really not an excuse, the music is down and Nova is standing in front of the crowd with her champagne glass up like she's about to make a toast.

I make my way to where others are gathered. Nova clicks her ring on the glass to make the sound to quiet every down. "Settle down every one, I didn't get to do this last year and I don't want anything stopping from introducing the most amazing person I've ever met to you guys," she begins when the crowd goes quiet, everyone wait anxiously to hear what she has to say. "I just got off a six hours flight hours ago and I'm very tired so I'm going to keep this very short and simple. First, I'd to say I'm sorry." Her face falls, she doesn't need to say why she's sorry, I already know, it's the party. "This isn't your scene, I keep forcing you but all is fair in best friendship and parties right?" This makes the crowd chuckles.

"Remember the day we met, you were sitting at the back of the lecture hall even though you were the first to arrive, I came up to you and asked why, you didn't reply me and I was hurt because you ignored, didn't acknowledge me. I left you and went to seat in front, when the lecture started, you sat beside me and slipped me a letter detailing why you didn't answer, and if you guys were curious, it was because she didn't hear what I said, she had her earbuds in. You were listening to the last episode of a true crime podcast and didn't want to pause because service was unstable. She gave me a candy and apologized. We spent the entire day together, walking around the campus and when it was time to turn in, we didn't want to say goodbye, so she offered to walk me to my room and guess what, she was my roommate.

"I know what you're all thinking, how did I not know. That's because she was asleep when I moved in and was gone before I woke up the following morning. We've been best friends ever since. You've been there through everything, the good and bad. You showed me that family isn't all blood. You are my best friend, my sister, my family. And due to some unfortunate incident"–she rolls her eyes–"I had to leave but I'm back now and I'm not going anywhere, we're going shopping this weekend and before you groan and all, know that you owe me a year long shopping–"

"And compulsory Sunday family dinner to make up for." Jazzy adds.

"Happy birthday, bitch." I press my finger against my lips and turn it to her, she does the same. "Hit it!"

The place goes dark leaving the dim lights. I see a four step cakes decorated with lit candles, Phoebe approaches with a smile and a low birthday song before the rest carries it for her. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday my dear Dawn, happy birthday to you."

She places the cake on the stool in the middle of the room as Nova comes over to pull me. "Make a wish." She whispers.

I close my eyes and wish for nothing but happiness for Nova. I open my eyes and blow out the candles with cheers from everyone.

We spend the rest of the evening cutting and eating the cake, dancing and enjoying ourselves. By twelve everyone is leaving and turning in for the night. I try to be happy and celebrate with everyone that's celebrating with me but it's hard when Hardin is feet away from me.

I lay on the bed in the guest room and take out my phone from my purse. I unlock it and scroll through my contacts list. I click on my mom and stop before calling her. It's been so long since we've talked and I'm not sure if she'll want to hear from me. My parents and I, we don't sp–

The sound of the door opening and Nova slipping in breaks me out of my thought. I lay back down as she approaches.

"I'm sorry." She apologizes in a genuine tone.

"Why?" I know why but I just want to hear her say it.

She comes to lay beside me, not taking off her shoe. "I know you hate birthdays and I keep throwing you one."

That won't stop her from throwing another one next year.

"I appreciate it." I say, clearing my throat. We have so much to talk about but now isn't a good time for me.

"You seems so sad, what's wrong?" She asks after a couple of minutes.

She notices everything. I wish I could tell her but I can't. "Nothing."

"Come on," she presses on, leaning up and holding herself up with her elbow. "I'm back now Dee, I'm not going anywhere."

She won't let it go, so I lie again.

"Okay, I fucked up at work."

Her face falls. "Oh honey, sorry to hear about that, mom has a surprise for you, don't tell her I told you."

"My lips are sealed."

She lays back down. "What do think of him?" She asks minutes later.

"Who?"

"Nate."

I think everything of him but she doesn't need to know that.

"He's okay."

"Okay?" Not impressed with the answer.

"He's all right. How did you two meet?" I know that'll get her talking.

"Funny story, we met on the plane. He was actually in New York weeks before. He was supposed to leave a week before I did but he said he was looking for a girl he spent some night and was hoping to catch her before he left but couldn't wait anymore, it actually reminds me of that guy you spent your birthday night with. I'm sorry about him by the way. I'm sorry you didn't find him."

He looked for me. He looked for me.

"I did find him, he just wasn't the one."

"I'm sorry."

I sigh and whisper. "Yeah, me too."

Yeah, me too.

I have to sleep, tomorrow is another day and I hope is less complicated.