CHAPTER 28

"So. . . how are you?" 'yan kaagad ang bungad niya sa 'kin pagkatapos naming pumunta sa roof top ng ospital.

Umupo ako sa upuan at pinanood ang sunset dahil hapon na rin naman.

"I was doing fine. . . I guess?"

Napatingin siya sa 'kin nang sinabi ko sa kaniya 'yon. "I'm sorry for what i've heard, I didn't expect everything. Hindi ko naman naisip na kasama yung daddy mo dahil matagal na silang walang koneksyon ni dad, pagkatapos ng mga nangyari noon."

Huminga ako ng malalim. "I was actually shookt until now, hindi parin ma-process sa utak ko na ginawa niya talaga 'yon but I was trying to process everything even though it's hard. Hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pa pero I will try."

Sandaling katahimikan ang namayani sa aming dalawa.

"Bakit mo nga ba ako gustong makausap? Hindi naman siguro 'to tungkol sa halikan natin diba?"

Nasamid ako sa sarili kong laway sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit uminit yung pisngi ko bigla.

Umubo ako ng ilang beses, "Assuming mo naman masyado, mag-uusap lang eh." ani ko.

Tumawa siya. "Pinapagaan ko lang ang hangin sa paligid natin, pansin ko ang kaba na nararamdaman mo."

Napailing ako sa sinabi niya. "Psychic ka?"

"Hindi."

Sabay kaming natawa at natahimik ulit kaya sinimulan ko ulit ang usapin sa pagitan naming dalawa.

"Gusto kong makipag-usap sayo dahil gusto ko ng closure." panimula ko.

"Closure? For what?"

"Closure for everything, I mean, kakabalik lang ng mga ala-ala ko at gusto ko munang mapag-isa pero bago 'yon gusto ko munang malaman lahat ng mga nangyari noon dahil hindi ko matandaan lahat lahat."

Hinarap ko siya at medyo nagulat pa ako dahil nakatingin parin pala siya sa 'kin. "Aalis ka?"

Tumango ako at ngumiti. "This is awkward," sabi ko at tumawa ng bahagya. "But yes, aalis ako sandali. I'm not sure when I was coming back but I'll come back, I can't be gone for too long."

He sighed and looked back at the sun. "That's good to hear." sabi niya na parang nakampante na sa naririnig.

"Hmm, so I was thinking of asking you if. . . how are we when we were still together?" he froze for a minute when he heard me said that.

"Huh?"

Tumawa ako ng bahagya. "I know you heard me right, Baste."

Now it was his turn to choke with his own saliva. "Huh?"

Here he was again for being cute, hindi talaga matapos tapos usapan namin kung puro siya pa-cute sa 'kin.

"Sige lang," I said.

Napakurap siya ng ilang beses at saka mukhang natauhan. Tumawa siya ng bahagya at saka ako sinagot. "Well, we are fine. We're happy and. . . contented. We were planning everything just fine, together and happy. It was memorable."

I looked at him but he was so focus on the sun that I can't help but to admire his beauty. The reflection of the sun is perfect on his skin, his nose is perfectly formed, even his lips. His eyes were dark, even his brows. He's perfect as a fictional character, if he was.

He looked at the sun dreamingly and say. "It was the best moment for us, sleeping together, shopping together, eating together, as long as we were doing anything together. It was all perfect and. . . fun," tumingin siya sa akin at tumitig. "what if you didn't agreed that time? What if I stopped you? What if I wasn't that dump enough to let you go?"

I looked at his eyes too, we stared at each other for a long time until he breaks it and laugh a bit.

"That was corny, you know I'm full of what if. Perks of being over thinker."

Sinabayan ko na lang ang tawa niya kahit kumakabog ng malakas ang dibdib ko sa sobrang kaba.

"It's okay, I used to ask myself too. It's normal for us to think about our untold what if's."

Sandaling katahimikan ang namayani sa aming dalawa.

"W-when I died, I mean, when they said that I'm dead, what happened?"

Natahimik siya sandali. It was a long silence, he was quite unsure when he started to talk.

"I-i don't know."

"What do you mean by you don't know?" nagtataka kong tanong sa kaniya.

"I was devastated, I didn't eat and always blame myself for your death. I-i. . . I locked myself until your funeral, after that, lumayo ako. I don't know what happened anymore."

Napatitig ako sa kaniya. I didn't expect what had happened. My heart felt sorry about him, he's innocent.

"I didn't mean to bring back the past, I just wanna know. I didn't mean to hurt you back then, I just want to prove something." I said.

We both stared at each other, it's like dejavu. Staring at each other without getting peevish like how I always feel whenever I'm looking at him recently.

"I. . . I miss you, Aizhalie."

Lumundag ang puso ko sa narinig, it was so sweet and tender that it immediately touched my heart. Like he was longing for me for so long.

Lumapit siya sa akin at niyakap ako. He buried his face on my neck and hugged me gently.

"I miss everything about you. I'm sorry for everything."

Ngumiti ako ng bahagya kahit hindi niya nakikita. "It's okay, it's not your fault. Let's just forget everything and move on. It's the only way to escape everything."

Pagkatapos kong sabihin 'yon ay umalis siya sa pagkakayakap niya sa'kin. He stood up and stared at me, uneasy.

"Yeah, you're right."

Tumayo din ako at saka huminga ng malalim bago ito pinakawalan. "It was nice talking to you again." I said, even though my heart was beating erratically.

"It's been years, matagal akong nawala kaya alam kong naka-move on ka na." sabi ko.

The pain came back again. I just hate the thought. Hinarap ko siya at maglahad ng kamay. "Thanks for everything, Leviste."

He take my hand and let go of it immediately before leaving me.