A/N: Hi I'm back with a new overdue chapter. Thank you for waiting patiently. I would like to thank as well the almost 2k reads and 81 view. Really appreciate it a lot

Happy Holidays.

Warning: Grammatical error, misspelled words because I write, I edit and I post.

I noticed that Izaya is so very much OOC all throughout of my story //sigh. Anyways without further ado

Disclaimer: Durarara is not mine.

"It seems you are fine now Izaya-kun." Shinra said as he check Izaya's condition. Izaya had stayed the night at his friend's apartment. Though Izaya didn't want to because if Shinra doesn't want to tell Shizu-chan's address then he will find another way but since his condition is a little bit on the edge Shinra insisted for him to stay.

"I'm already fine since yesterday but a certain idiot here wants me to stay." Izaya said with a bite with every word. Shinra only shrugged at Izaya's and only smile.

"But you're not a doctor.." He started but Izaya cut him out.

"Because you're the doctor. Yeah right Shinra. You don't even have a liscense so how sure can you be." He said with a roll of an eye.

"Excuse me. I've studied medicine with my whole life I know all of its field like the back of my hand. Licensed or not I'm the sought doctor in the underground world." Shinra boasted patting his chest proudly. Izaya smirked at his friend clearly enjoying at teasing his friend.

"Yeah yeah you're still a quack doctor." Izaya said in a sing song voice. Shinra's pouted more as he clearly understand that Izaya's teasing him. "Anyways quack doctor, can I have Shizu-chan's address?" He asked suddenly still not letting go about that simple information. Shinra gave him a stern look,

"No." Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Please." He tried again but Shinra stubbornly remain tight lipped.

"I will asked Shizuo-kun's permission first. I don't want him to get angry at me specially Celty. She's very protective of him." Shinra said apologetic. Izaya sigh defeatedly.

"Fine whatever. Can I go home now?" He asked. Shinra nodded and at that Izaya decided to leave not listening to his reminder. Whatever if he doesn't want to give their address he can still go to Psyche's school maybe the kid, his son might listen to him. Hopefully.

There are many things he wanted to explain at them, to tell them but he wonder if they will believe him after all what he told at Shizu-chan a few years back was very harsh and painful even him got hurt at what he told at his beloved monster. He thought by doing that he can protect him from the future pain but he was wrong. During his stay at Shinra the quack doctor had told him everything that happened to Shizu-chan when he decided to break up with him, all the sufferings that Shizu-chan and Psyche-chan endured during those time. Everything. Izaya felt guilty. It was all his fault and no matter how many sorry he chant to them it can never be fix anything. Just like what Shinra told him he was indeed an idiot and it took him years to realized it when it's completely too late. That's why right now he will do everything just to fix it he doesn't care if Shizu-chan never accept him in his life again as long as they knew that he still cared for him and already care for their Psyche-chan is fine with him. He will never be contented but he can endure it.

His feet brought him at Psyche's elementary school conviction on his face but when he saw Psyche exited the gate he stopped on his tracks. He felt immensely guilty at the sight. Psyche have a cast on his arm, he was walking beside the kid that looks like Shizu-chan. The two were walking side by side happily and Izaya doesn't want to take it away by just appearing in front of him. When all of his conviction are gone and changed by a guilty feeling he turn around to walk away of their sight suddenly a childish voice called out to him.

"Izaya?"

XxxX

It's only last night when his Papa told him everything. At first when he learned that Izaya was his real father he thought the reason why his Papa was cold to him from the start was because he was not really his real child that's why he avoid talking to him on their way home and shut himself to their room in fear that his Papa will confirm it but then his Auntie Celty came and talk to him and convinced him to listen at what his Papa will say so he listen but what his Papa told him are very different at what he thought. The revelation of his Papa left him confused and so his Papa started to narrate what happen the first time he met Izaya. At the end of his story his Papa asked him his forgiveness again but Psyche were not angry at him from the start he was just confused why but now he knows. Because of his face. He looks exactly like Izaya who had hurt his Papa very much and with that he started to hate his own face a little because of it he's making his Papa relieved some bad memories but his papa assured him that it will never happen again as he promised to move on from the past. As they basked in silence and comfort in each other's arm his Papa dropped another statement that left him thinking and told his Papa that he will think about it and asked his Papa the same.

"Do you still love Izaya, Papa?" He asked and noticed how his Papa stiffened at his question, looking down in shame and at that moment Psyche understand what it means. He gave him a wide toothy grin and Shizuo smiles warily back at him. The question remains unanswered but Psyche already knows what his Papa's answer.

Psche at his young age were very smart and always have a different perception of things it may not show because of his childish demeanor but he is very aware of it that's why he thought very hard about the story and put himself on Izaya's shoes. The way his Papa describe his relationship with Izaya seems that guy loved him then he thought back their encounter with him earlier. The way he acted seems desperate. Desperate to talk with his Papa, desperate to get his attention and there's another expression he couldn't forgot. The guilt in his face as he look at the both at them. Maybe, maybe there's something behind the action he did a few years ago and that is what Psyche wants to know. That's why when he saw Izaya standing near their school he called out to the guy, Tsugaru at his side. He'd already told everything to his best friend because he is very important to him and keeping a secret with each other will only hurt the both parties or that's what his Uncle Shinra always telling him.

"Izaya!?" The said man flinches and whip his head to them. Psyche looks at him wondering if he grow up he would be a look alike of Izaya. Tsugaru gripped Psyche's hand comfortingly.

"H..Hi" Izaya greeted awkwardly. "Uhhh.. Sorry Tsugaru-kun and Psyche-chan about yesterday." He apologized bashfully. Tsugaru only nodded and Psyche only stared at him with a frown, the older raven haired stared at them awkwardly. Tsugaru squeezed Psyche's hand in encouragement and Psyche gave Tsugaru a soft smile before looking at Izaya again.

"C..can we talk?" Psyche asked with a stutter. Izaya look at the little child with wide, hopeful eyes.

"Really? Of course we can. I know a place where we can talk. Do you like sweets? Their sweets there are the best. It's Shizu-chan's favorite. Izaya informed a little bit enthusiastic. Psyche frowns at the sudden attitude. Izaya cough a little bit. "I mean if you want to." He added awkwardly. Psyche nodded and look at Tsugaru in the eyes, silently asking him if he could go with Izaya alone and Tsugaru nodded in understanding. Psyche let out a small smile Tsugaru returning it with his own calming smile before looking up to Izaya who's watching them with curious eyes.

"Please take care of Psyche." Tsugaru said to the older man calmly but with a hint of protectiveness in his voice. Izaya blink and smile at the blue eyed kid.

"I will. Don't worry." the two stared at each other for a second before Tsugaru nodded and turn to Psyche to bid him goodbye. Izaya let out a breath he didn't know he was holding to know that Tsugaru is kind of giving him a slight ounce of his trust and of course Izaya won't let it go to waste.

The two arrived at the cafe Izaya was talking about in silence. Psyche was staring deeply at Izaya who is looking at the menu. He watch him intently and thinking of ways how to ask him in question when finally Izaya looks at him, placing the menu on the table. Psyche blinks as their eyes met. It's like Psyche was looking at the mirror but the other side was showing him the older version of his self but with deep rusty red eyes.

"Do you like strawberry shortcake? I could order that for you." Izaya asked with a tiny smile. Psyche snapped at his staring when Izaya spoke, nodding at his question.

"Really? Okay." Izaya beamed before calling the waitress to order. Izaya ordered a slice of strawberry shortcake with a glass of vanilla milkshake and a glass of water. The waitress wrote their order and repeated it to them to make sure she got it right before stalking of. There again the uncomfortable silence as the two tried to search of something they could talk of. In Psyche case he was thinking of ways to ask Izaya a question he was very curious to know. After the uncomfortable silence their orders arrive. Psyche notice that Izaya only have a glass of water.

"You didn't order for yourself." Psyche asked confusedly. Izaya gave him a small smile.

"The food here is not good for my health actually." Izaya explain. Psyche tilted his head in confusion at Izaya's answer.

"Then why did you bring me here?" Psyche asked. Izaya place his elbow on the table and rest his chin on top of the back of his palm looking at Psyche with a gentle smile.

"This is Shizu-chan's favorite place." He answered as memory of him and Shizuo started to flash his mind. Psyche nodded seemingly satisfied at his answer.

"Izaya, do you still love my Papa?" Psyche asked him the same question he asked at his Papa. Izaya flinches and stared at Psyche, giving him a pained smile.

"I do. I still love him very much. He is the only one I will love actually." Izaya said honestly without hesitation. At his answer Psyche frown.

"Then why did you leave him. Us?" Psyche asked in a small voice.

Izaya stared at his son's hurt face. The question he asked caught him of guard even so he knows what his answer still but what really hit him was the way how his son address him by his first name. It hurts but he understand why. He turn away at the pink orbs that was staring at him deeply, clutching his chest as he feel the familiar constricting feeling in there, taking a deep breath to calm himself. It will really get bad if this sudden onslaught of emotion continue. It took him a full minute before the constricting feeling disappear. He look at Psyche again, noticing the tears that swells up at the side of his eyes. He reach up, hating to see him with that expression he wipes his tears away as he gave him a bitter smile.

"Do you know why it is bad to keep a secret?" He asked his son. Psyche nodded.

"Because it will only hurt the people you love." Psyche answered with a light sniff.

"Yes and that's what I did." Izaya said with a sad tone.

"Why?" Psyche asked back. Izaya took a deep breath. 'This is it.' he thought.

"Because I don't have much time left back then."

A/N: (EDITED 12/25/17) SHAMEFUL ADVERTISING: I'M PROMOTING MY OTHER FIC HERE. PLEASE READ THAT AS WELL IF YOU ARE A FAN OF LAWLU (ONE PIECE) I REMEMBER THE DAY AND VIKTUURI (YURI ON ICE) DECISIONS AMD CHOICES, BOTH ARE GENDERBENT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.