Duo

This is stupid.
So utterly stupid that Duo would actually feel outraged by it if he wasn't too busy coughing his lungs out.

Again, he feels the need to point out, in his head, how stupid this is. And I say in his head, because he still is in the middle of a coughing fit and can't exactly talk as it is.

"Uhm, do you need help?"
No, that's straight up outrageous and he won't stand by (read: cough up a lung) while this is done to him. Who has dared to ask if he needs help when he so apparently does?

Of course he doesn't need help. Duh.

"...yeah, you need help." The voice above him decides, and Duo would point out how that's absolutely not true if he wasn't busy actually taking the first breath in the last, I don't know, four hours.

Okay he's being dramatic, it has been three minutes at max, but still.

Finally, he looks up at the owner of the voice that has decided Duo needed that disgusting thing called "help".

Black hair but there's a white streak, obviously, from Duo's point of view, dyed. Duo classifies that as edgy, and consequentially the owner of that hair as edgy too.

His gaze shifts lower, between grey eyes and chapped lips that Duo wants to scream at because it's not that difficult, just use a chapstick. But then pearly-white teeth pull at the bits of dead skin that clash with the soft pink of those lips, and Duo forces his eyes to move from that hypnotizing red when those teeth pull too much and a barely noticeable crimson drop makes the guy wince.

He should really give them a chapstick.

Anyways, there's a chin, a neck, nothing to note there, it seems. All normal. The pierced ears, crowned by silver rings, add a touch of fashion, not that the guy needs that anyways. They look perfectly fine. Cute.

Duo's mind is racing with potential outfits that someone with clearly a lot of fashion sense like the guy in front of him could pull off, so he's genuinely surprised when his eyes greet a-

A duck. A plastic-yellow duck in all its might, followed by the inspirational, epiphany-inducing motto: "duck you".

Duck you??

Duo wants to cry at that aberration, but he doesn't because crying wouldn't be very macho of him. Speaking about macho, he just spent three minutes thinking he was going to have a eye-to-eye conversation with his trachea (which wouldn't be possible because that thing most definitely doesn't have eyes) so he should probably say something.

"Something." He mutters.

The aberration owner's frown deepens, black and white eyebrows scrunching on confusion. "Yeah, something."

"Most definitely something." Duo fires back. What are they talking about? He has only one answer.

Something.

"Uhm, well... you sounded like you were going to do a meet and greet with your ribcage so I came to check if you were alright, sorry. I'm Kip, by the way." Aberration owner- no, Kip, says.

Duo has now properly regained access to his respiratory system, so he can answer that with "Duo. Not particularly excited about meeting my ribs either, so thanks."

Admittedly, he should've thought about it before coming here. Perfectly aware of the severe dust allergy he has, he thought to himself, let's go to a centuries old library, specifically the "manuscripts and ancient ass documents" section. Whose name definitely isn't that, but now Duo has a personal grudge against this part of the library.

"Do you come here often?" He asks Kip, only to make conversation, because
A, that guy has "bookworm" written all over their face, and
B, the silence is getting awkward.

"Yeah. Is it really that obvious?" Yes it is, is what Duo answers in his mind, but you can't be mean to someone you've just met and has been kind despite the horrendous shirt they're wearing. So he settles for a half smile, which still seems to do the work for Kip.

They keep talking, and Duo's grateful for that, even though it's obviously not intentional. "You don't, though, right? I haven't seen you around, and someone who aims straight for the dust section is either out of their mind or lost."

"I'll admit it's probably both." Duo chuckles a little to himself, as if he just made the joke of a lifetime. He feels confident, let him have this moment before he remembers how he was sure he was on the brink of death approximately 127 seconds ago.

A tling-tling-craa sound echoes through the library, something far too loud than what feels okay in a silent place like this.

Static. "Solace to desk, please." A voice (someone who's standing too close to the microphone, because Duo can hear their breaths) says mechanically. More static. Tling-tling-craa again.

Kip's lips purse in a line, in what would look like an annoyed grimace - through an emotion-magnifier glass, that is.
"Well, looks like they're waiting for me. I'll see you around, Duo. And please stay away from dusty corners, I wouldn't like to have to clean up your respiratory system from the floor."

Squirrel's gold pot

I wrote this SUE ME-
no seriously is this slay or nay?

Am I going insane? (Spoiler: yes I am)