Johnnie Angel. I know what you're thinking : 'is this guy some kind of stripper or a character from a 50s sitcom?' That, my dear people, is where you'd be wrong. I'm neither of these things. To be more specific, I'm a sloppy, greasy, foul mouthed, John-Bender-type of a seventeen-year-old. But close enough.

The kids call me Thorn, since I sure as hell am not any kind of Angel. So it's what I call myself, too, but really, I'll always be Johnnie to me.

So here's a little bit about me. Yes, Angel is my real last name. Yes, Johnnie is what it says on my birth certificate. Not John, not Johnathan, just Johnnie. My dad was named Oliver and thought he was gangster, so he went by Butch for as long as he could speak. So excuse him for making you read this in a Brooklyn accent.

Anyway, I'm seventeen and attending Winnwood Public High School. My dad left my mom Marcella and I shortly after naming me. Which, you know, hasn't had the best effect on my life.

So I'm sure you want to know what weird-wacko thing happened to me to make me think I needed to write this book. If that's the case, then keep reading.