Start song: Blush by violents.

Josh likes smoking, he likes the burn in his lungs, he like how warm he feels and he likes watching the ash fall. The smell is even better. Jon's couch smells of smoke just like his appartement does. Jon's apartment is a mirror image of his, looks exactly like it did when he showed up crying in his pyjamas. This time Josh is in a good mood and he's alone, mostly.

Two girls stand, hands in each other's pockets, sharing a cigarette, leaning out an open window as they smile and smoke and they aren't the only ones. Jon's apartment is a sanctuary of nicotine and Josh is a guest.

He's on the couch, one leg up, chin on his knee, unlit cigarette behind his ear and a bottle of beer he's been nursing for the past half hour on his lap in between his legs. Jon's house is home to friends of his, Josh included. It's not rare that he's like this, that he's curled up on jon's couch as everybody else has a good time because really Josh is only here because he doesn't want to be alone and the bar once again messed up his scheduling and double booked.

Oreo is set in Josh's house for the night. Jon not wanting his dog to endure or get sick off of second hand smoking. He doesn't want him around for when people starting going at it, on the couch, in his room, against the wall. Jon is considerate and very lucky Josh's cats get along perfectly fine with Oreo.

Music pulses from a tiny speaker set on top of the oak TV stand. Josh is unfocused, completely uncaring as he watches everybody with squinted eyes. Josh observes calmly in a way he hopes isn't creepy because if there's one thing Josh isn't, it's creepy. If anything he's just curious and that's the only excuse he's got as he watches a guy pull Jon into his room by his belt. They meet eyes and Jon grins, closing the door behind him.

Josh groans, bored but unwilling to move. His eyes roam, they land on a small group nestled on the floor passing a joint. He recognizes nobody but everybody, everyone's familiar. He's seen them all before. They're all on each other, all lazy. All willing and soft and they're high, sulking on rose petals.

He looks to the girls again, they're kissing now. Cigarettes disposed in the ashtray by the window sill.

Everyone's involved in each other, Josh is involved with his beer.

The group on the floor parts within the next thirty minutes, some leave gasping against each others mouths and other's leave giggling and holding onto each other as they leave. The bed creaks in Jon's room and Josh gets up, going to the kitchen, stepping over a girl laying on top of some man's legs. They're just laying, doing nothing. Some of the last left and he knows he won't be surprised to see them all over each other later on because Josh. Josh is staying.

"Sorry." He says quietly. Nobody cares to listen. Too interested, overwhelmed. Josh isn't either. They say nothing and they wouldn't have said anything if Josh had stepped on them.

He loses his beer, leaving it on the counter and then he's tugging on his sweater sleeves, stepping over the same two people again and stumbling back into the couch, cushions eating him alive.

He looks at the girls for a third time, hands moving down, down, down. He watches the development as they push and pull each other around. They look soft and Josh has nothing against girls. They kiss, hands on hips, fingers moving lower and Josh watches.

When fingers start to go up a skirt Josh is getting up. He's bored is his excuse.

"Hey." He says, he leans beside them. They both notice, smiling.

"Want to join?" One asks, the only one with a mouth free to speak as the other sucks gentle red onto her neck and sneaks fingers inside of her cunt.

"Please." He says, glancing at the other people in the room before looking back at her.

"We'll take care of you." She says, bringing Josh in by his jaw, pink nails, soft lips she kisses him and Josh's hand meets the small of the other girls back.

Soft and slow, cigarettes on tongues, they move to the couch. The two girls are gentle all warm touches and sweet kisses and they don't talk. They touch. Hands and lips everywhere.

Equal attention is divided, Josh ends up between legs, tongue darting into a wet cunt, blunt fingers digging into soft hips. Everything moves fast and Josh kisses them both and they kiss each other.

Josh is warm, not overthinking, his hands follow curves and soft skin.

They, the three of them occupy the couch and Jon's headboard rocks against the wall.

*

He sees Tyler, he's on that street corner again, paintings piled up against the side of the appartement building and he's smiling with an unlit cigarette stuck behind his ear as he rocks from side to side and hums. It's far too cold to be outside. People pass him by, woman glaring at him, some stopping to scold him but from afar Josh can see Tyler doesn't care.

There's no bother, he's proud of his art work and he's completely shameless.

Josh approaches. "Hey." He says, he's not in his jogging clothes today. He's tired, sunken in but he's bright in a loose hoodie and jeans.

Tyler's eyes open, he's smiling wider and he pays no attention to Josh's state. "Hey."

"Mind if I-" He glances to the spot beside Tyler. He gets the message.

"Oh, yeah not at all sit down tough guy." Tyler pats the spot with a willing smile.

So Josh does, he settles, pavement freezing cold, wind gushing, he's pulling his beanie over his ears as he slides down the wall beside Tyler into a sitting position, legs straight out ready to trip by passers. "Fuck."

"Fuck is right." Tyler says, he quirks a little smile at Josh before he's puffing more smoke into himself. Josh sniffles and pulls his left leg up to rest his chin on his knee. There's some silence before Tyler speaks up.

"Why are you here?" He asks.

Josh raises his eyebrows. "Do you want me to leave?" He glances behind him.

Tyler shakes his head, lips upturning into a small smile. "Definitely not."

He goes pink and Josh blinks, clearing his throat.

"I have work in thirty minutes, thought i'd stop by and see if you were here." His mouth moves before he has time to process a thing, he feels creepy but Tyler doesn't seem to care. He lets out a deep breath.

Tyler hums, letting his head drop back against the bricks, rolling his neck slightly, eyes closing. "How thoughtful of you."

"I think Brendon's gonna be at the bar tonight." Is all he says. A man passes by, he steps on Josh's shoe, large boots pinching his toes. Tyler notices, Josh flinches, bringing his other leg up to the safety. He crosses them now. Tyler looks content and Josh asks another question, nearly blushing.

"Need some new models?"

"Nope. Brendon's on his own for the night." Tyler says, ash falls onto his jeans, Josh without thinking uses the back of his hand to swipe it off his thigh.

"That. That doesn't bother you?" Josh asks, eyes wide now. It would bother him, he knows it would but Tyler just shrugs before continuing on. His hand is still on Tyler's thigh, unmoving, he forgets it's there and Tyler doesn't put in an effort to remind him.

He shakes his head passively." Was my idea. It's like a punishment for him or somethin."

"punishment?" He repeats, eyebrows drawn as he retracts his hand and brings it to hide in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie.

"He's not a huge fan of one on one stuff, unless it's with me." Tyler raises an eyebrow.

"Did he do something?"

"He came in my mouth and I swallowed some before I could spit it out." He sighs. "I am not a fan." Then Tyler's giggling and Josh follows suit, not because it's funny. Josh is near pink all over but it's unnoticeable because how cold it is. Everyone has rosy cheeks including Tyler. He laughs because Tyler's laugh is contagious.

Tyler stops, he wipes a stray tear from his eye. "I wish I was kidding."

"It's always grossed me out." Josh says.

"Y'don't swallow Joshie?" Josh is pink again, he's blushing. Tyler looks at him. This is normal.

"N-not usually. I guess it depends."

"On?" Tyler presses, Josh's levels of embarrassment rise just slightly.

"Who I'm with. How much they want me to. I'm here to please."

Tyler chuckles, bringing his cigarette back to his lips. "How generous Josh."

"I am generous." He is. Josh is generous.

"Thanks for agreeing."

A red car passes by, loud music playing as they stop at a red light right beside the two. Their conversation stops momentarily. Like a breach, they both shut up for a few seconds. Train of thought lost as Josh thinks of something else when it drives away.

"So have you got any new paintings?" Josh's tone is raised, volume slightly louder.

Tyler blinks, turning his head. "Huh?"

"New paintings?" He says louder. Tyler lights up.

"Oh, yeah. of Brendon actually, he's my muse." He's smiling, teeth clenched around the tip of his cigarette. Toxic insides of the smoke crushing in his mouth, he pays no mind to it. His attention is on Josh and Josh's attention is on him.

"That's lame."

Tyler smiles and flicks the ash off his cigarette. "But it sounds fucking romantic." He says as he rests his head against the brick wall before looking at Josh. "It's a good line. It works, tell someone you're an artist, say they're your muse and magic." He leans in.

"Sure." Josh rolls his eyes. Tyler is ridiculous.

There's comfortable silence for several seconds before Tyler's touching him. Cold fingers is what Josh would feel if he wasn't covered in layers of warmth.

"Hey, hey Josh." He's poking his shoulder now, long nails digging into his jacket over and over again although already having all of Josh's attention. Tyler's smiling as he does so.

"Wh-"

"You're my muse." he cuts him off slyly, Tyler's sly, his personality not at all matching his smaller demeanour. Josh goes fucking pink, stupidly pink and he goes warm too and Tyler's laughing. Laughing prettily as he crushes his cigarette into cold pavement.

"I got you to blush." He sing-songs happily, he's smiling wide, bottom teeth crooked. Josh can't help but notice.

"You didn't." Josh frowns.

Tyler raises an eyebrow before standing up, a hand on his stomach. "Oh fuck you, I did." He laughs again, Josh doesn't move, hands pulling at his hair, tangling along near his scalp. He scratches awkwardly, watching Tyler stumble along and gather some of his painting's in his arms.

"Worked on Brendon, works on everyone." He murmurs under his breath. Josh gets up too, standing awkwardly as he watches Tyler start to clean up. Pretty boy turns to him, head motioning to a stack of paintings. The theme something Josh doesn't bother making out.

"Wanna help me bring these up?" He asks.

"Up?"

"My apartment. Help me bring them inside."

"Oh uh, wait did you even." He glances to the paintings. "Did you even sell any today?"

Tyler shakes his head."Nah, I haven't been out for long and i'm freezing." He gathers them carefully into his arms, small canvases overtop of bigger ones.

"Do you usually like sell some?"

"You'd be surprised by how many people actually buy these. Now help me bring these up?"

"Yeah, okay." Josh breaths loud.

Silently the two collect everything into their arms, canvases big enough to hold. A small series of twelve spread between the two. Josh tries his best not to stare at them too long. Knowing the story that most likely plays behind them has him blushing too much and he doesn't want to appear embarrassed because he's really not.

Tyler holds his paintings like they're nothing, one almost falling out of the pile. He realizes his hands are full as Josh starts walking closer to him.

"Wait grab my backpack."

Josh grabs his backpack, putting the paintings on the ground carefully, slipping it on his shoulders and then picking them back up. Tyler grins at him, he's happy and he starts walking, leading the way for Josh.

Josh follows Tyler, his appartement is the one they were just leaning on. Grey bricks. The inside is small, grey carpet, old paint, fake plants. It's nicer than Josh's building.

The apartment itself is a mess, canvases cover the walls, there's skids of paint across the wood floor yet although it's a mess it's absolutely him. Josh's imagination doesn't bypass anything like this and he's in awe as he walks around.

"Thanks." Tyler says as Josh places them on a coffee table.

"Your place is nice."

"My place." He takes a breath, dropping the rest of his canvases on a yellow couch covered in mismatched pillows. "Is a mess. I blame Brendon." He shrugs.

"I like yours better." Tyler says as he opens his backpack, letting it rest on the couch as he toys with the zipper.

"I'm gonna have to dis-" His phone goes off, the classic alarm all Iphones are set with by default. It's loud and annoying and he groans, pulling it out of his pocket. Tyler's not paying attention and Josh rolls his eyes as he watches Time For Work 1PM continue to go off. He turns off the alarm, looking at Tyler as he slides his phone back into his pocket.

"I've gotta go." He says.

Tyler turns and nods in understanding. "Want my number?"

"Uh. Yeah."

Tyler smiles, fishing a black sharpie out of his bag.

Too lazy to search for paper he daintily grabs Josh's arm and slides up his sleeve. Ink cold he slides it over his skin, imprinting the series of numbers gently.

"Thanks." He smiles but then frowns. "I've really gotta go."

"Don't let Bren do something stupid." Is the last thing Tyler says.

*

The bar is clean when he gets there, single TV already on.

"You're late." Ashley groans, sitting on top of the bar, apron snug around her waist as she scrolls through her phone.

"It's fucking empty." He says. They aren't even open yet, he's five minutes early.

"Still late. I hate being alone." Ashley frowns, jumping up off the counter as Josh joins her behind the bar and lets his sweater fall to the floor. He kicks it underneath, beside the garbage.

"You'll need to deal with it sometimes." He murmurs, grabbing a glass and filling it with water from the tap.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Just us tonight?" He asks, nails tapping as Ashley smiles.

"Yeah. Just us."

He furrows his eyebrows. "Thought boss was swinging by."

"Well. You thought wrong."

Her attention goes to the TV before her eyes widen. She turns to Josh and taps on his shoulder. "Can you go grab some more glasses from the back? We've been running short lately." She says as she begins lining up some shot glasses and going over the inventory for the night.

Josh laughs. "Have you been stealing them again?"

Ashley doesn't answer but she winks and that's enough for Josh as he goes to do what he's been told.

*

Brendon does show up that night. He's not wearing a jean jacket with a tear but he's wearing a leather jacket, an old one without paint on it that Josh has never seen before. He smiles at him, catching his attention. Brendon grins wide, nodding him off as he sits down on a cushioned couch.

Josh gets back to work, the rush of seeing someone he knows making him smile.

He's slow. The bar isn't crazy full. People are scattered, low music plays and the TV is louder. Free time is frequent, he talks to Ashley, she watches the TV. People leave, others come in like any other night.

Everybody is slow. Nights like these have Josh sleepy, he's already tired and it's not like he's done more than stand and pour dozens of simple drinks. He glances at Brendon whenever he gets the chance, eye contact gets made most times and Josh looks away and finds some other way to occupy himself.

Time passes, the bar's still quiet, no hook-ups in the bathroom.

Across the bar by the TV a fist flies into some kids stomach. Josh watches, quickly running over as the smaller of the two gasps. He's mad, looking to return the favour when Josh gets between the two. Fingers open, pushing on their chests to back them up.

"Hey. Break it up guys." Josh says, cutting in between the two. Arms pushing them apart again. A crowd forms, a small one and Josh pushes, pushes, pushed until the two men are opposing. The smaller one runs.

"Coward." The red one says, angry, drunk, pulsing he stares at Josh. Giving him a shove.

"Hey!" Brendon says, pushing in. Someone grabs him back. Josh doesn't notice.

The red one, sweaty, drunk, his fist swings, arm following and crushing into Josh's nose and then cheek bone. Josh stumbles back, hand to his jaw in surprise. Red kicks his knee, Red spits on the floor beside him, the crowd makes room, in awe, terrified and he leaves with heavy stomps.

"Fuck." Josh says gasping, falling to the floor. His head hurts. Everything spins.

"Josh you okay?" It's Ashley. He recognizes her.

"Get me a rag." He withers out as people get back to what they'd been doing, nursing their drinks and searching for hookups. Ashley is fast but she's not back before Brendon slides in beside him, crouching down, hand going to Josh's waist slow and tentitive. He gives him a gentle squeeze, hand going to push hair out of his face.

"Are you alright? He asks.

Josh groans, a finger swiping underneath his eye. There's blood. "Fucking fantastic."

"Here." Ashley hands him a cold rag, wiping her fingers off on her apron. "Do you wanna go home? I'll call someone in." She says knowing she can't cover his shift for him.

Josh nods and Ashley sympathetically pats his shoulder and pulls out his phone.

"My head hurts, holy shit."

"I'll take you to mine if you want. I don't think it's a good idea for you to walk home.

"O-okay." He says, not giving any thought to it.

___

This is such a mess. I'm so sorry holy crap.

I know this hasn't been updated in a while. Whoops.

Also I have a oneshot coming out, it's a youtube AU i'm excited. It's very long. So yeah.

love you all <3