Leggo world the secret in this space
It feels like we’re getting closer

-Boss, NCT U

The next day, I was back before the club again with its X sign in the green neon lights glowing in the dark. My eyes stung, this was supposed to be a weekday, I didn't have classes yet I spent the night awake thinking about my fate and how it really lead me to this.

The previous night flashed before my eyes, the club, the seven boys, the whole drama and one of them taking me back home in a black minivan.

The whole way Jooheon blasted loud rap songs and jammed to it. I was glued to my straight posture. He dropped me and the carton off before the store and went away just like that.

When he pulled up the window of the car after seeing me get down of the van, the glasses were as tinted black that I almost tried to convince myself that wasn't actually THE Jooheon, THE Korean literature I knew from the English club.

Today, it was a whole different story. When I went to the store I was greeted by the boss lady again who had told me that the clan club called for me.

And she seemed extremely polite talking to me.

By the time I was thinking all this walking alongside the security guard of the place, my heart was loudly thrumming inside my ribcage again like last night. I couldn't tell if it was for fear or anticipation, it didn't feel like any yet both at the same time.

The bulky man in black opened a fancy looking door and gestered for me to go outside.

When I went inside it wasn't as dark as rest of the club, but it was dimly lit. I spotted the minibar, a tv, couches, two billiard boards and I saw Wonho bending his upper body forward on one of them to hit a ball but as soon as his eyes fell on me he stood straight up.

And then he cautiously put up the cue stick and hid it behind his back. The whole situation made him look as awkward as a five year old kid getting caught feeding their sibling mud.

"Look who's here!" The platinum blonde jumped his way towards me with his hair bouncing up and down and when he put a hand around my shoulder I couldn't help but flinch.

"Glad you came!" Minhyuk gave me the brightest smile for no reason, but my eyes only met his neck from up this close and I saw the shiny silver necklaces adorning his black turtleneck. They looked expensive.

"Yeah, we noticed already," A raspy voice made me turn to the right where the minibar was. It was Kihyun in his back brushed hair with a drink on his one hand, a lit cigarette on the other.

So that's where the nasty smell was coming from.

"You should let her go Minhyuk. I think she might feel uncomfortable." I saw Shownu sitting on a stool not too far from Kihyun. He glided his head to the side and smiled at me.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Minhyuk retreated his hand back and it met the back of his head as he smiled at me apologetically. "I got overwhelmed. We hardly let outsiders come here in this room."

My heart did another loud beating and my throat went drier than before. His whole comment just meant that I had gotten more involved.

Way more into this and now they brought me here to negotiate but was there any way to back out? Would they take my organs as collaterals? Are they illegals mob lords? Mafia boss?

"Do you want to drink water? You look incredibly pale." I heard Minhyuk's concerned voice say, my eyes were on the marbled floor.

"Don't feel afraid. We are not going to kill you or anything. This isn't so serious," I heard another small voice and it took me some effort to look up to see who it was.

Hyungwon, his eyes were on the tarot card deck he was shuffling on his hands as he was sitting on one of the couches. Then he started to place them one by one on the wooden table before him.

"We just don't want our identity to be known. But I think you could've guessed a lot already-" He looked up at me, his eyes boring onto mine as he crossed one of his legs on another and put his hands gently on the the top of his kneecap.

"And I know you can tell this isn't something normal. Actually it was a bit of our fault too, we should've been careful. It just seemed natural not to have any Seoul university student living here in gaphae," he fixed the already perfect material of the white satin suit that fell onto his lap, his eyebrow arched. "Since you live here anyway, we just think it should be better for you to be an insider."

"I'm sorry, what?" The first thing I said after I had gotten here came out like that but I was indeed genuinely surprised, as I could only half understand what he was saying.

"Work for us." Kihyun elaborated, the cigarette close to his lips. "We can't just move because one student identified us. We checked the database last night and you're the only Seoul university student here living in gaphae."

"Excuse me?" I barely croaked out.

"We know everything about you by the way, we are going to pay enough for your mother's medical expenses and your tuition fees. You're fired from the convenience store, the lady will tell you that tomorrow if you show up there again, and the online publisher closed their site so you don't need to translate that anonymous writer's work anymore," Kihyun took a long drag from his cigarette and when he exhaled, the white smoke clouded the space around him.

Right now I had an sudden urge to go rogue, my breathing was heavy and hot, nails digging into the insides of my palms but I'd rather throw that fist to them, any of them.

Because by then I had realized they were the worst kind of people, the kind I despised the most.

"As you can see, the clan club belongs to us and we have several outlets all around Korea, this one's old too and it's been running for a while. It's an identity we keep away from our university lives, we are still students after all." Even though my ears were ringing I could still hear Shownu's voice. "Changkyun and Jooheon were sent to an errand but after last night we all agreed that you working under us would be the best solution. Both for you and us."

They were the two faced, double life living guys who could and perhaps had ruined lives before.

I couldn't think straight due to my sudden outburst of anger but at least I knew speaking to them would be futile, I wouldn't have any other choices.

Going to the police? They'd probably kill my mom.

That was too farfetched but I clearly knew the club wasn't their only activity after what I saw last night.

"That's all. You can help with the financial and resource management of this branch since that would be your speciality for what you major in. You can start from tomorrow." After Shownu stopped talking I finally looked up.

My vision was clouded in anger. I was fuming. "So can I go now?"

Shownu nodded his head in a slow motion. I didn't waste a second to quickly unlock the door that led me to all this and step out. But I couldn't breathe until I was outside and the chilly air hugged me again.

I fell on my knees on the loan street outside of the club. My hands clasped on my chest as I struggled for air.

There was a reason I felt this suffocated.

---
A/n: can anyone please hug me

It's just i haven't been feeling really good these days. I don't know how to either but I'm trying