Baby come closer
I got what you want

-Love talk, Wayv

The thing that happened in the dark after the English club session made me want to dig up a grave for myself and bury myself alive.

I'd rather suffocate there then show myself before Kihyun again but still, a part of me said what I had done was right.

I thought I could understand myself but here I was, an incredulous rat having ambivalent thoughts in the back of her mind.

Even when I wished that I would not have to show myself to Kihyun for some time it was unrealistic, as I had found myself before him again.

And this time straight into his apartment.

After I'd miss my shift in the clan club I had gotten a call from Minhyuk who said that it would be a better idea to finish the rest of the project at Kihyun's place (which was the smoker boy's own idea) but now Minhyuk was not here, texting me that he could not make time for his exams.

Thus I was stuck with Jooheon, Changkyun and Kihyun himself and I wondered why the first two came anyway when all they did was sleeping in Kihyun's room.

Warily my eyes wandered around the apartment from where I had sat, the floor with the ads strewn across of me. There was a big couch in front of the TV and the gaming set but the floor seemed a better option.

His apartment was pristine, neat and clean. Hardly anything stuck out and the minimal furniture made it look like he only wanted the things here that he needed.

There was a balcony with a glass door in the living room where I was sitting and from the eighth floor a pretty moon could be seen outside, along with the night lights of the other buildings. A breeze was passing by while the white curtains of the balcony danced with it, a gentle aroma of coffee whirling around the whole place.

I shuddered in the slight cold and the thought how awkward it would be with him.

The apartment was not so enormous but it would be too big for only one person living in it, I wondered if Kihyun ever felt lonely here.

"Are you sure you only want coffee?" Kihyun's sudden voice startled me a little.

He sat on the floor by my side, putting the mug on his hand before me. The aroma of the coffee not as gentle but hitting strong now.

I only nodded as I visibly deflated in my position, at that moment, I wished the other dorks were awake and here

But Kihyun's nonchalant expression made me dubious, as if he had forgotten my nefarious action from the other day.

"These two had already cleaned out half of my fridge," he muttered to himself, his hand meeting the back of his neck and massaging there before he turned to me. "If you want something I can whip it up for you."

This time when I came around I was actually prepared to smell the cigarettes from him again. Yet surprisingly when he sat by me a faint scent of cologne, mixed with shampoo and also a smell of mint came.

His hair messily falling on his forehead and onto his lashes, his brown eyes glinting in the lime light of the room. I could not stare for even a second yet it felt like an hour.

Gingerly I looked down only to be met with his bare legs, fairer and translucent than my own skin as he was wearing a pair of gray shorts matched with a white tee.

My face started to heat up, not only was I at a guy's place by myself for the first time, he was this close to me.

"You can cook?" the only thing I could say as I focused on the warm mug of coffee on my hand.

He had his laptop in front him, probably contacting the stationeries, restaurants and other places the beer ads would be displayed for starter. "I do. I cook most of my meals."

"Impressive," involuntarily I muttered and a lopsided smirk crept up on his face. The screen of the laptop brightening his face in the dimly lit room.

Cooking was something that was not meant for everyone, even I would opt out for instant ramen rather than make something yet here he was, despite having a full time job of some sort, being a university student who was on top of his class he cooked for himself.

And had better skin, looked healthy, rich and cleaned for himself too. He seemed like he had his life all together, I couldn't help but feel jealous a little.

"I can do a lot actually," he looked up at the ceiling, stopping his work. "I learned to cook when I was young. I am good at physical activities and outdoor games. I learned piano and guitar, learned how to sing. I can speak a few languages too."

"How did you learn so much?" with so little time.

He shrugged with his shoulders. "I guess I just wanted to get away. Doing something productive makes me feel better about myself."

A thought hit me, I asked myself if he was lonely.

Even before I'd always felt as if Kihyun had a wall built around him, he seemed so free with the rest but not to me or anyone else from the outside. As if he was reticent.

Now that he was talking about himself to me and I was sitting at his place close to him, it somehow made my heart feel warm.

Discreetly I stared at him, watching as he pulled out a small packet from his short's pockets. Pulling off the wrapper he popped on the gum like substance.

As if he could feel me watching he looked at me. "It's mint gum," answered he. "Since you hate cigarettes so much."

A loud thump occurred in my chest, my heart suddenly going out of beat and trying hard to match its sync. Suddenly the air did not feel so cold anymore, but warm all around me.

"Are you blushing again?" he chewed on his gum and with that, the scent of mint spread more about. "I have my contact lenses on today."

There wasn't much expression on his face but it felt as if he was teasing me and I hoped it was only the hot coffee that was making my face grow warmer.

"Obviously not," trying to explain I let out a wry laugh. "And what do you mean again?" I laughed again but thinking that I would choke on it I stopped myself.

"Really?"

He leaned forward, one hand on the ad papers and other that he placed so close to me that it almost grazed my waist. I was trapped inside but was frozen right there.

My heartbeat had accelerated so much that I was sure even he could hear it. With wide eyes I could only stare at his face that was inches next to mine, the freckles on his cheeks and his brown eyes that was boring on me, stilled.

Eyes that were so captivating and gaze that was so strong that I felt myself pulled in.

And then his gaze slowly dropped to my lips.

It was only the scent of strong coffee and mint in the air, why was I feeling so intoxicated as if I was drunk. Drunk in him.

---
A/n: I LOVED WRITING THIS CHAPTER! I think it's been two years since I'd written a scene like this.

Anyway this book will end on late july not june. I thought we were still in may.

Yes I'm incredibly stupid. The last time I'd gone outside my house was 18th march and it's 12 june now so idk what you expect from my stupid ass.