Even if we have scars
We can smile if we're together

-You never walk alone,
Bts

Few days had went by since I was last back in the clan club. My mother was still recovering. And as after a long time I really did not have much to do I thought about things to myself a lot.

It made me curious how my eyes would linger around the university trying to find the tall guy with an almost buzz cut- Shownu, the pink head who had the most intimidating body yet the softest smile- Wonho. the tall lanky boy with even longer hair- Hyungwon, the dark haired with deep dimples and crescent eyes- Jooheon, the one that would wear black nailpolish and eyebrow barbells at night- Changkyun.

And the one with brown messy hair, freckles on his cheek, the one that would smell like cigarettes, and sometimes of aftershave and expensive cologne that felt intoxicating.

Kihyun.

My eyes would wander around in hopes to see them, see him, but I would hardly ever.

Sometimes I saw Wonho in the cafeteria, he would eat with me at the most ungodly hours. Sometimes I would see Changkyun and Jooheon hanging around in the campus together and Jooheon would smile at me, Changkyun stilled beside him.

The most I got to see was Minhyuk since he was from my major but even he had gotten busier, I'd have high hopes to witness his platinum hair bouncing on his head as he'd walk around but I'd hardly see that anymore too.

It was almost as if they'd never been the biggest part in my life.

Even though I wanted that in the past, them being long gone and forgotten, yet I didn't know why it pained me so much now.

For unknown reasons I was eagerly waiting for my mom to fully get well so I could go to the club again, feel the songs vibrating behind the door, smell the scents of beers, wine and rich sins. I wanted to work there with them again.

The day I was aimlessly sitting on the library with an English dictionary sitting before me- I did not even know why.

Probably because it made me remember Shownu and Minhyuk, before I had seen them on this very seat with Shownu holding an Oxford dictionary.

As I nibbled on the bottom of my pen I remembered something Kihyun told me the other day, to talk with Minhyuk about my past if I was okay with that.

It wasn't that I wanted to speak about my past, but I just generally wanted to talk to him. Talk to Minhyuk, about any matter.

Hence I took my phone and decided to text him asking where he was, then I realized how awkward I was texting someone.

I had probably never sent a message to anyone.

While I pondered over what to write my phone lit up with an upcoming message from the very boy. "Where are you? I'm at our faculty's rooftop. The air is really fresh today, do you want to come?"

It baffled me how much our minds were alike. Just when I was thinking about texting Minhyuk, he did it first as if it was like magic, as if our minds were connected.

I remembered how much I hated when he or Wonho brought up that Minhyuk and I were somehow alike but now I actually reckoned that.

***

Autumn was fading away and winter was falling but the air was crisp when I found myself in the rooftop to see Minhyuk.

However, when I saw him the air almost got knocked out from my lungs.

He was dangerously sitting on a railing with a thick book on his hand, a pen balanced behind his ear and his silver hair dancing with the wind.

"What are you doing there! Get down!" I shouted as I ran towards him but when he saw me he only laughed.

"It's a nice view from here," he said amused but got down anyway. "Don't tell me you have a fear of height like Wonho."

"It's a seven storied building! You'll die if you fall from there!" Contrast to him I was not joking, not at least a bit. Yet his smile never faltered from his face.

"So you have a fear of falling?" He remarked taking the pen from behind his ear. "Let's sit on the floor then."

With that he plopped down against the railing, after a second of pondering if this was safe I sat down next to him. The book was held open before him and I saw him marking down lines, circles and notes scribbled all over the pages.

"My exams are coming soon. I'll be graduating," he pursed his lips at me and I did not know why I felt a sharp pang of pain in my chest.

"Wonho and Kihyun too, though their exams starts a bit later than mine. We are getting our bachelors done. Shownu hyung has his Master's degree exams going on. So he's out too soon."

After he paused a little I nodded to myself bringing my knees closer to my stomach. "That's why I haven't seen Shownu at all then. Kihyun too."

"Kihyun likes to study hard, his CGPA had been the highest in the psychology department for two respective years after all," he said and I felt my eyes widen. That's why he was flexing about his grades in the hospital that day?

"Why do you look so pale? Will you miss us?" Minhyuk said in a teasing tone. "You'll still see us at the clan club."

But not the English club anymore, the place where I had first met them. "What about your Masters degree?" I did not know what to say so I asked instead.

Minhyuk broke out in a yawn, stretching his arms on top of his head. "I haven't really thought about that. I think, I might need a break. This is getting tiring. I don't like studying in the library too now because Shownu hyung isn't there."

The gravity of his words hit me. This wasn't temporary, I really would not see Shownu, Wonho, Kihyun and Minhyuk anymore in the University. The thought caused a rage of sadness inside me and I tried to calm myself down telling myself that I'll see them at night anyway.

Why did I feel like this? It hadn't been a very long yet I had gotten attached to these boys.

Maybe because on the inside I really craved bonding with people. This was my first time doing that.

Minhyuk had his hands on his knees and his head on it, tilting his face to a side to meet me. "Today I just felt bored, there's no one to pay hooky now. If I meet up with the younger trio they tell me to study. And I've been missing you too."

"I'll be back at the club from tomorrow since my mom has gotten better," I answered, the sadness inside my heart melting in the warmth seeing a smile slowly curve up on his face.

"That's good to hear. You've worked hard taking good care of your mom, Daisy."

A happy little feeling bubbled up getting a compliment from him but then I remembered the words from Kihyun, and I hesitatingly tried to raise the question that had been bugging me. "Will it be okay if you tell me what happened with your mom?"

His eyebrows perked up in a slight furrow as he raised his head to turn ahead. "I don't really know much about her. But she dumped me with my addicted dad that's what I know."

The grave darkness in his words made me feel guilty for asking. "Y-you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I'm okay with it Daisy. I'm a grown man now. It was hard when I was younger," he glanced at me before turning away again. "My father isn't Alcohol or drug addicted, but I guess he's addicted to sex. Since I was a child I had seen numerous women come and go there. So I'd rather spend time at Shownu hyungs."

The afternoon around us felt gloomy and the howling of the wind in the rooftop did not feel like music anymore but sighs and bellows of a hurt one.

How hurt Minhyuk must had been to go through all that?

At least I had a loving parent, he had none.

"I've always despised that woman but I could see why she would leave my dad. My only wish was that she'd take me with her too. Maybe, she hated me from the moment I was born. Because I carried the same blood as him. Sometimes I even hate looking at the mirror, I feel like I'm looking at a younger version of my dad. And I never, ever want to be like him."

"You're different than him. You're not him," I said hastily and when he looked at me I saw how his eyes seemed wet with tears. "You've went through a lot and reached an amazing place by yourself, you should be proud of yourself."

The words were almost like the one's Kihyun had said to me but they had brought me peace when I needed it, so I hoped they would for Minhyuk too.

Minhyuk smiled again battling the tears in his eyes. "You sound like Kihyun. But thank you. Thank you for telling me those."

Wonho once told me that all of them had different stories, yet at the end that was what brought them together. I could finally see how true that was, I guessed, we were all fighting our own demons.

"I had never seen my father. He left my mom pregnant with me." When the words left my mouth I saw how Minhyuk expression gave away he was surprised then slowly turned into the melancholy.

"I'm sorry to hear that Daisy."

"I just... It was hard yeah. But you and I-" I stared at Minhyuk's sorrowful eyes. "We have a lot in common."

"Yeah," he whispered, suddenly giggling up by himself. "As if we are siblings, or each others doppelgangers or counterparts."

I could not help but let out a laugh too. "Yes, but the opposite sex. A story of long lost twin could work too but sadly you are older than me."

Minhyuk bobbed his head to himself then gave me a playful smirk. "Look at you laughing, I think it was my first time seeing that."

"I do smile, I laugh..." I trailed off as I could not remember that last time I showed a prominent sign of joy like this. "I mean... sometimes."

"It's good to see you laugh. I hope the eight of us last a long time, Daisy. The seven of us and you."

Maybe two months ago I'd hate the idea, step on it and try to walk away again. But at that moment I wished on it too. I'd never felt so close to people before.

Rest of the afternoon Minhyuk and I chattered away, though it was him speaking most of the time. I took away his opportunity to study but at least he wasn't bored now. And I'd enjoyed a lot too.

---
A/n: when you come here thinking it's a gang au only to get comedy, family and angst lmao.

I really wanted to write a story about friendship, characters healing and bonding I hope I'm able to do that. And I hope you're still enjoying too.