ARI.

I celebrated the start of the new year in a hospital room. No fireworks, no fancy dresses, no champagne and certainly no romantic kisses at midnight. Instead, my ass was plopped on a chair, a bowl of store-bought mashed potatoes on my lap, and my eyes glued to the television screen. As I tried not to drool over One Direction's performance on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve, my sister sat on the other side of the hospital bed, helping our mother eat her dinner.

"Oh look," Mia gasped, brandishing out her phone towards myself and our mom, "it's midnight! Happy New Years!"

"Happy New Years, anak," mom spoke, voice low, but lacked the weakness it had been laced with for so long. Her health seemed to be getting better, and for that I was thankful.

(translation: child)

"New Years," I mumbled, scooping out a huge spoonful of potatoes before shoving it into my mouth. I felt the atmosphere in the room turn colder than the already freezing temperature outside. I could feel a piercing stare burning into my skull with intensity hotter than the devil's asshole. Annoyingly, I rolled my eyes over to the right where the coldness was harboring.

Mia was sitting on the chair with her perfectly plucked eyebrow raised, and an expression on her face that clearly told me she did not approve of my behavior. It's been like this for the last few days. Her temper was growing shorter by the hour and every little thing I did royally bothered her. I didn't blame her though, I have been morbidly emo lately. But I didn't blame myself either - it seemed like my life was falling through the cracks and there was nothing I could do to catch the pieces.

"Do you have a problem, Ate?" My tone was condescending, I'd admit that and I probably shouldn't have been disrespectful but I was over it. I just didn't feel like trying anymore.

(translation: older sister)

"Could you at least pretend to be positive?" Mia retorted.

"I am being positive," I started with a scoff, causing Mia to once again lift an eyebrow, "positively gloomy."

"Ugh, you're being incredibly immature Ari," Mia tossed the bowl in her hand aside. "God! You're not the only one suffering here! You act like you're the only one with problems. Quit victimizing yourself and grow the fùck up! Luke isn't going to wake up if all you're doing is being a privative asswipe!"

By this time Mia was standing from the chair, absolutely fuming. Her shoulders heaved up and down with emphasis, and the death glare she gave me was cold enough to start the next ice age.

"I'm being immature," I chuckled, clearly amused by her prior statement, "if anyone is being childish it's you! For keeping your head in the clouds and your mind in a fairytale. Life is shit right now and life is going to continue to treat you like shit. So get your pretentious, positivity-is-key," I air-quoted, imitating Mia's voice, "mindset out of your ass and you grow the fùck up!"

I snatched my backpack off of the floor, jerking the chair at the same time. It collided against the wall with a loud thud, perfect for my oh-so dramatic exit. I didn't even have the patience to kiss my mother a goodbye; I had to get out of that room and out of the vicinity of my stupid, perfect sister. Slinging the straps over my shoulder, I flung open the hospital room door and walked out of the room.

"Ugh," I grunted to myself, capturing the attention of a passing nurse. I ignored whatever judgmental look she gave me and stormed down the corridor towards the elevators. As I did however, the sound of heavy Doc Martens to linoleum filled my ears. A new aura radiated around me like needles to the skin, and I had no choice but to turn around.

From the opposite end of the hall was Ashton, who ran towards me with an expression I couldn't quite read. Shocked? Frightened? Nervous? Whatever it was, it seemed to hold him down, as each step Ashton took felt like he was dragging weights with him.

"Ash?" I breathed, as he caught up to me.

"You're not answering your phone," he spoke on edge, as he tried to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry, it's on silent," I explained, looking at the curly headed boy who was keeled over with his hands resting on his knees. "What's going on? Why do you look so stressed?"

"Luke's awake,"

"What?"

"He's awake," Ashton confirmed, gazing up at me, "Luke's out of his coma."

A spectrum of emotions ransacked my entire body like a wrecking ball to an already dilapidated building. It felt like I had the air knocked out of my lungs and I had to hold my hand over my heart in desperate attempt to keep it from combusting within my chest cavity. If Ashton's statement really were true and Luke is awake, then he may actually be okay; that there's a fighting chance that everything will be okay again.

Without another word, I quickly pressed the elevator button several times as if the act would somehow make the lift come to me faster. It only took about three seconds till the elevator doors to slid open, revealing an empty lift before us, but those three seconds felt like three years. I ran inside, Ashton trailing behind me. I pressed the circular button, watching the doors slide close and not even bothering to cease its closure when a nurse ran towards us.

Ashton and I rode up to the fifth floor in silence - him twiddling his thumbs, and me nervously jumping on the balls of my feet. The second the elevator doors opened again, did I catapult myself out, rushing down the halls to Luke's room on the left. The entire area around Luke's room was bustling with nurses and doctors. They ran in and out of the room, smiles on their faces and joyous cheers escaping their lips. It was a good sign; a confirmation that Luke was indeed awake.

"It's a miracle,"

"Angels were definitely watching over him,"

"Awake on New Years Day. Remarkable,"

I slowly inched myself forward, trying to take a peek into Luke's room. I bobbed my head from left to right, standing at the tips of my toes to catch glimpse of the commotion inside. As more nurses filed out of the room, bright grins plastered on their faces, I was able to see Mrs. Hemmings standing right by the bed. Her hands held onto Luke's as she looked down at him with tears streaming down her face. However, these beads weren't filled with despair like before. These were truly tears of happiness.

I stood by the door, my shoulder pressed up against the frame with Ashton standing next to me. I waited there for a while, my heart pounding at 200 miles per hour. I was excited, nervous, and thankful all at the same time. The rush of emotions were so overwhelming and I haven't even locked eyes with the blue ones I missed dearly.

"Ari," Mrs. Hemmings had finally noticed me, giving me a smile and the cue to walk into the room. Ashton followed suit and before I knew it, I was face to face to with Luke again. Wide awake and no longer immobile, Luke's radiant blues met mine.

But something was off.

It was spine-chilling, and my body had no choice but to react in a slight shiver. Luke's eyes weren't his. I mean, physically yes, the bright blue irises were his own, but the beacon of light and love that normally came with the pair, were missing. It struck me hard, and I was taken aback by the hollowness that still remained.

"Is-is he al-alright?" I stammered, my eyes still glued to Luke, who continued to stare right passed me.

"His vitals are normal and he's responding to light and sound very well," the doctor answered, as he continued to quickly jot things down onto the clipboard in his hands. "We're going to run a few tests to make sure his brain isn't too damaged but so far, Luke is doing wonderfully."

"I'm so happy. Thank you God," Mrs. Hemmings cried, looking up to the ceiling.

"Will the tests be able to determine whether or not he's all here or not?" I suddenly asked. I wasn't even sure how I asked, but my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.

"I'm not exactly sure what you're asking," the doctor responded.

I shook my head with a subtle smile, "I'm sorry," I forced a laugh, "I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just overwhelmed, I guess."

"That's alright sweetie," Mrs. Hemmings assured. She held out her free hand towards me, to which I happily took. She draped a motherly arm around my shoulder, as she continued to weep. "My baby boy is back. He's going to be okay."

I looked up at Mrs. Hemmings and softly smiled at her, before gazing back down at her son. Luke stared straight ahead, unmoving and silent, and although he was finally awake, it still felt like he was stuck in a coma. I felt no soul, no warmth, no spark of energy that was quintessentially Luke. It was like everything that made him who he was, was lost somewhere. I was staring at Luke, but Luke was gone.

When I finally switched my gaze from the boy in the bed, to the spot where Ashton was standing, did I notice that he was nowhere to be found. I assumed he was in the bathroom, but after almost ten minutes, his tall, muscular body never made an appearance again. I shrugged it off, making a mental note to call him later.

"...I recommend the one in Northern California. The Cobb Institute is one of the best rehabilitation clinics in the nation,"

Finally snapping back into reality and out of the train wreck that is my thoughts, I attempted to zone in on the conversation between the doctor and Mrs. Hemmings.

"The staff will be able to help my son?" Mrs. Hemmings questioned, hope in her tone of voice. The tears had finally subsided and she was able to coherently speak without turning into a blubbering mess.

"Yes, definitely," the doctor answered with a smile and nod, "the staff are top notch in their field. Also, The Cobb Institute is in Napa Valley and is away from the city. It's in a beautiful and relaxing area, away from any social parabins that could potentially taint your son's road to recovery. Mental rehabilitation is no joke."

"I understand. And I love my son. I'd do anything to protect him," Mrs. Hemmings spoke, taking a moment to gander at Luke before looking back up at the doctor. "Just tell me the next steps from here and I'm willing to send my son to Northern California."

"Wh-what?" I spoke up, my brain finally piecing the puzzle together and registering what the hell was going on.

I knew from the get-go that Luke was going to need some kind of help if he woke up from his coma. I learned in psychology that depression wasn't like the common cold that could be cured with hot soup and bed rest. And I knew that the aftermath of Luke's attempt to take his life away meant that he would need therapy. I just didn't think he'd be getting help 300 miles away from me.

"Don't worry Ari, I'm sure you'd be able to visit Luke sometime," Mrs. Hemmings sensed the concern, and tried to ebb it with the notion of a simple visit. But this was more than just setting up an appointment to see Luke; this was the idea that I couldn't keep him home. I didn't want him to leave me.

"What about the rest of his senior year?"

It seemed like a stupid question to ask, as Luke's health was the most important thing to think about, but I just wanted things to be normal again. I had this stupid fantasy where Luke and I would finish the 12th grade together, attend prom in color coordinated outfits, and be able to see each other walk across the stage at graduation. Shoot me for being a little selfish, but I just wanted Luke for my own. I barely got him, and now I wanted him back.

Mrs. Hemmings looked to the doctor with concern. She was a teacher, and knew first hand about the importance of a good education. Luke had done exceptionally well in his SAT's, had a high GPA and was basically guaranteed a spot at Newcoast University in the fall- a spot next to me.

"There are excellent tutors at Cobb Institute. Luke can still receive an outstanding education and receive his high school diploma," the doctor explained.

"Do you expect him to attend prom in the rehab's cafeteria?!" I squealed, practically lunging at the doctor. I know I shouldn't have overreacted, probably should've just kept my cool, but the idea of having Luke spend senior year 300 miles away from me was sickening.

"I think your friend's-"

"Boyfriend's," I snarled, shooting a deadly glare at the doctor. I honestly didn't know where that came from. Luke and I never talked about taking our relationship from friends to lovers, but before life turned twisted, it seemed natural- we seemed natural.

I could see from my peripheral vision that Mrs. Hemmings was looking at me, probably surprised by my sudden pseudo revelation. I didn't want to meet her eye to eye; I was nervous to know of what she'd think about the idea of Luke and I.

"Luke's health," the doctor corrected, sensing my hostility, "is the most important thing right now. I'm sure you understand that. He needs treatment and Cobb Institute can give him the supplements needed. If he does well enough, and if you keep hope alive, Luke could get better by your prom. You just have to stay positive."

Positivity.

I guessed my sister was onto something with her positivity sermon. But it was so difficult; so tiresome to smile when all I wanted to do was disappear into the walls. I just needed some time to myself; some time to let things sink in. So without another word escaping my lips, I walked away. I gave Luke one last tearful glance before sauntering out of the room completely.

I walked as fast as I could through the halls, eventually turning my rapid steps into a run. I found myself back in an empty elevator, fanning myself and trying to keep from breaking down in public. Once in the hospital lobby, I jetted out of the depressing edifice and into the chilly evening air. In the distance I could hear happy party-goers celebrating the new year, drunkenly cheering with utmost joy- I was thoroughly jealous of their carefree happiness to say the least.

I hugged myself, rubbing my arms in desperate attempt to warm my body up. The oversized cardigan was useless in this cold weather and I quickened my pace towards the car. However, as I journeyed to the end of the parking lot, I noticed a group of people in the distance, and yelling that seemed to be fueled with anger.

"You're a fùcking prick! Don't you fùcking dare touch my girl!"

I slowed down my pace, cautious of the rowdy group, but as the yelling continued, I soon recognized the Australian accent that reverberated in my ears. Instead of walking I ran, and the faceless trio came into light. Ashton, broad shoulders and all, had his fists clenched tightly as he glared angrily at Reese. And the third figure in view was none other than Mia.

"You're a pathetic douchebag! Why the fùck would you kiss another man's girl?" Ashton shoved Reese in the chest who teetered slightly.

"Baby, it wasn't like--"

"Stop!" Ashton immediately interrupted Mia, whose face was stained with tears. "I don't want to here it right now. How could you do this to me? I fùcking gave you my all!"

"What the hell is going on?" I pipped up, my eyes darting between the three.

"I caught this scumbag," Ashton gestured towards Reese, "with his lips on Mia's. God! I had my suspicions but I didn't want to believe it," Ashton's voice softened as he glanced at my sister with tears brimming his eyes, "I never would've expected this from you. Mia, you disappoint me."

"Ashton, babe, I'm sorry but it meant nothing. I love you," Mia cried, clutching onto Ashton's arms. He didn't want anything to do with her and gently pushed her away.

"Dude, don't blame her. It was all me," Reese interjected, surprisingly defending Mia.

"Of course it was all fùcking you! I'd rather fùck a rusty shovel than have to ever look at your stupid face ever again!" Ashton didn't waste another moment and pummeled Reese towards the floor. Reese was on the asphalt faster than a second and Ashton's fists met his face with great force.

"Baby stop!" Mia screamed at the top of her lungs, jolting towards the brawl and trying to pull Ashton away from Reese.

I, on the other hand, stepped back from the situation. I was tired with all the drama and I saw no reason to stop my best friend. Reese seemed to be the root of several problems and if I weren't so weak as it is, I'd be the one beating him to a pulp.

"Ari, help me please," Mia looked at me with pleading eyes and tears streaming down her face. She was desperate and normally I'd run to her aid in a heartbeat. But this time, I didn't.

I simply shook my head and turned my back.

//

Luke's awake. But of course he wasn't going to be all dandy. Just think about it for a moment, because I do sometimes. I think about all the people who attempted to take their life away but failed. I think about how life must've felt the moment they woke up and realized that their plan to exit the world fell through.

Thanks for reading my story guys and for taking the time to vote and comment! Your comments are awesome and I love reading them. I know this story is getting really depressing and it's messing with your feels, but I promise there's a reason for all my madness. Thank you all again! :)