***

[ T <•> I ]

I: thank you so much Tim for giving me the best gift ever.

T: gift? What gift?

I: do you honestly believe your presence is less than a gift? Because for me it is truly a blessing.

T: that is what we mutually feel about one another, right?

I: yeah.

***

I: still at LCorp?

T: yup.

I: and what about Wayne Tech?

T: I asked Dick to stop being a lazy arse and look after Wayne Tech instead.

I: but wasn't he tired from the flight as well?

T: Richard? Tired? That's like the best joke I've ever heard.

I: oh come on...

***

T: so what shall I bring back for you?

T: flowers? Coffee? Anything in particular?

I: nothing. I just want you back home with me.

T: so I was passing Starbucks...

I: butterscotch latte.

T: thought so. Iced?

I: absolutely.

***

[ Supersons ]

CaffeineAddict: so how's Jon dealing with the whole situation with Dami?

SuperKon: I don't know.

SuperKon: didn't really pay him much heed.

CaffeineAddict: that's unbelievable.

SuperKon: and why do you think so?

CaffeineAddict: because he's your brother and definitely not someone you could ignore so easily.

SuperKon: oh yeah?

SuperKon: how's Damian dealing with the situation then?

CaffeineAddict: ...

CaffeineAddict: he's not at home so I don't know.

SuperKon: yeah right...

CaffeineAddict: what do you mean?

SuperKon: so I went up to Jon's room just about now. And let's just say I captured what I saw right after opening the door.

CaffeineAddict: is your bro cheating on my bro?

SuperKon: I wish.

CaffeineAddict: no wait...

CaffeineAddict: is that Damian gremlin Wayne?!??

SuperKon: the one and only.

CaffeineAddict: he's in Metropolis??!?

SuperKon: yup. I'm an eye witness to his presence here.

CaffeineAddict: the absolute fuck...

SuperKon: see, you suck at paying heed to your brother too. Just like me. Buddies for life.

CaffeineAddict: I can't fucking believe this.

BatKid: calm the fuck down, Drake. Save all the screaming for when I rip you to shards soon as I get back.

SuperKon: however on a positive note, I believe your bro and my bro are not going to break up soon, Timmy.

BatKid: who the fuck said we're breaking up? I'll burn the culprits alive.

CaffeineAddict: geez, Damian, no one said that.

BatKid: and if it was you, Drake, then I'll personally see to it that you burn away in hell.

CaffeineAddict: yeah sure since you're Satan's buddy and all... I totally understand the threat, makes perfect sense.

BatKid: let me come back to Gotham then.

SuperKon: yeah please, leave us oh you Satan's buddy.

SuperJon: he's not going anywhere right now so shut up, Connor.

***

SuperJon: presenting you, ladies and gentlemen...

BatKid: there are no ladies here.

SuperJon: oh Dami, I was going to do a drumroll here.

BatKid: I just corrected a crucial point so you should have been grateful.

SuperJon: oh yeah... There really are no ladies on this chat. Thanks.

SuperKon: stop with the teen drama and get it over with already.

CaffeineAddict: I second that.

SuperJon: okay now please don't interrupt.

SuperJon: ...

SuperJon: alright then, gentlemen, presenting you two masterpieces I generated today...

SuperJon: the first ever gifs made featuring the one and only...

SuperJon: the really handsome...

SuperJon: and perfectly awesome...

SuperJon: Damian Al Ghul Wayne!

SuperKon: come one everyone give a big round of applause. 👏👏👏

CaffeineAddict: 👏👏👏

CaffeineAddict: but seriously, is this for real? You actually made gifs with Dami in them?

SuperJon: I was about to show you but you decided to interrupt again.

CaffeineAddict: ah my bad.

CaffeineAddict: I was just wondering if Dami is still thinking the camera got his soul from the repetitive clicking or not...

BatKid: my middle finger shot up in the air in your honor.

CaffeineAddict: ah, Merci. Je suis tellement honoré.

SuperJon: do you guys want to see the gifs or shall I just leave?

SuperKon: aw of course we do, Jon. Release the gifs.

CaffeineAddict: make sure to do it one by one so that none of us gets indigestion.

SuperJon: ...

SuperJon: okay, here's the first one.

BatKid: take this down right now.

CaffeineAddict: ARE YOU BLUSHING? AND SHYING AWAY FROM THE CAMERA?

BatKid: shut up.

CaffeineAddict: IS THE WORLD COMING TO AN END?

SuperJon: it's okay, Tim, you can stop using all caps. We know you're a dramatic arse.

BatKid: 💯

CaffeineAddict: okay.

CaffeineAddict: but is Dami really blushing or is the light playing tricks upon me?

SuperKon: he looks really bashful to me. But cute nevertheless.

BatKid: if you say that to me again, Kent, you'll be suffering the sharp blade of my katana.

SuperKon: say what?

CaffeineAddict: call him cute.

BatKid: you too, Drake.

CaffeineAddict: at this point, I'm sure my body has turned immune to your sword blows.

BatKid: no it hasn't. Remember June 23rd, right after lunch?

CaffeineAddict: yes very much, thank you for bringing back the find memory.

SuperJon: what happened on June 23rd?

CaffeineAddict: brotherly bonding time.

SuperKon: with a katana?

CaffeineAddict: that pretty much sliced my back until my spine peeked through.

CaffeineAddict: ah the good old days.

BatKid: ...

BatKid: fuck you.

CaffeineAddict: no thanks.

SuperKon: and I happen to have the perfect gif to denote my reaction and Timmy's as well.

CaffeineAddict: perfect...

CaffeineAddict: we're like two odds that make a whole, Con.

BatKid: yeah right, let's see what you have to say about Luthor then...

CaffeineAddict: I would never say that she completes me because Connie does that. But she makes me a better person and is a major reason I stopped being suicidal.

SuperJon: that's sweet. But seriously guys, we still have a gif left. And that's my favorite one.

SuperKon: yeah right. Bring it on, bro.

SuperJon: there you go

CaffeineAddict: oh fuck... I think I just died from shock but came back to life because Dami can not be that lucky yet.

BatKid: I wish I was. You do know I have a eulogy prepared right?

CaffeineAddict: I paid for my funeral last year, you still didn't show up so I'm not doing it again.

SuperKon: excuse me...? You what?

BatKid: he had to die to go undercover. I don't know why father thin that would be a great idea. But looks like it was in Drake's case.

CaffeineAddict: but in in all frankness, faking one's own death is never a great idea.

SuperJon: you guys are the limit.

SuperKon: all things aside I wonder what Damian is saying in that gif though?

CaffeineAddict: I know 🤔

CaffeineAddict: ARE YOU FLIRTING, DEMONCHILD?

BatKid: shut the fuck up, you moron.

SuperJon: but you're right though. Dami was pretty much flirting.

SuperKon: 😲

SuperKon: the question is, with who?

SuperJon: with me, obviously.

SuperKon: ah yes...

CaffeineAddict: obviously.

BatKid: so what? He's my boyfriend, I can flirt however much I want.

SuperKon: ah don't get so serious, Damian, it's all a joke. Don't take it to heart.

BatKid: I don't take shit to heart. I slice the one responsible for it with my sword.

CaffeineAddict: I ain't responsible for no shit Damian.

CaffeineAddict: but I have two questions.

BatKid: okay...

CaffeineAddict: so A) when did you get that tattoo on your forearm? And B) what does it say?

SuperKon: you don't know Arabic, Tim?

CaffeineAddict: I mean I know it, I recognize but I can't speak or translate it.

SuperJon: but you love learning languages and know so many already. I though you would know this one too.

CaffeineAddict: nope. I draw the line here.

SuperJon: any particular reason?

CaffeineAddict: your boyfriend.

SuperJon: um...?

CaffeineAddict: because it is kind of relevant to Damian, not me.

BatKid: do you want the answers or not?

BatKid: oh wait, I have an even better answer to your stupid questions.

CaffeineAddict: can't wait to hear it.

BatKid: A) fuck off. And B) fuck off.

CaffeineAddict: the feeling's mutual, bro.

***

BatKid: what the absolute fuck, Drake? Why the hell did you send Grayson here?

CaffeineAddict: well, you were ditching patrol and I had to tell someone. Be grateful I didn't tell Bruce.

BatKid: just you wait till I get home. You're going to pay for this. I swear.

CaffeineAddict: I can't wait, bro. May the fittest survive the battle.

SuperKon: you know what, Damian, thought I'd give you some advice since you're important to my baby bro and and Jon would kill me by his pathetic crying if something bad happened to you...

BatKid: just get it done with, Kent.

SuperKon: I wouldn't challenge Tim to a fight if I were you. And if you're any sensible, I trust you to do the same.

BatKid: coward. No one's scared of Timothy Princess Drake.

CaffeineAddict: don't you dare say that, Damian.

BatKid: why? Ashamed of what Luthor calls you all the time?

CaffeineAddict: that's exactly why I don't want you to say that. Let it remain between me and my girlfriend.

SuperKon: princess...? Tim? No FRICKING way.

BatKid: what I don't get is that how are you, a Kryptonian, afraid of someone as harmless as Drake here?

SuperKon: he's not harmless no matter what impression he gives.

BatKid: oh really?

SuperJon: I suppose Connor is referring to when this happened.

BatKid: ...

SuperKon: fifty points to you Jonathan for displaying such a clear proof. I couldn't have explained it better myself.

BatKid: if this is fucking Photoshop...

SuperJon: I was an eye witness. This is legitimate, Dami. You can ask the other members of the Young Justice too if you want. Miss Martian, for instance, would willingly narrate the whole event.

SuperKon: no thanks. Do not bring any of the Young Justice into this. And especially not Miss Martian.

BatKid: Timothy Drake beating up a Kryptonian...

BatKid: you seriously suck, Kent.

BatKid: and people say Kryptonians have superhuman strength?

BatKid: clearly wrong.

SuperKon: laugh if you must, Damian, but don't say later that you hadn't been warned before.

SuperJon: no seriously, Dami, your brother kicked Connor's butt so hard that I bet even Bruce would be surprised. And he was not even in his suit that time. Still he nearly ripped Con's arm off.

SuperKon: such a fabulous recap, Jonathan, wait till I get my hands on you.

BatKid: if you come even an inch closer to my boyfriend, I'll beat you up harder than Drake did.

CaffeineAddict: in all honesty, I was at my most lethal time of life and Connor unknowingly started an argument.

SuperKon: why had you been silent for so long? You could have replied earlier while these two were going on insulting me...

CaffeineAddict: why, did you want me to join in insulting you as well?

SuperKon: I'm so disappointed, Tim, you broke the best mate code.

CaffeineAddict: such a shame. It's probably the fifth time this week. I'm really the most awful mate you could find. So let's set up an awful mate code instead. I'm certain I won't break that.

SuperJon: but seriously though, why were you not replying?

CaffeineAddict: oh I was just sitting back and enjoying the drama 😉

CaffeineAddict: feels good to know at least someone is terrified of me.

SuperJon: and what exactly is this most lethal time of your life?

CaffeineAddict: when I'm on caffeine withdrawal.

CaffeineAddict: fair warning, kids, do not mess with me when I can't have my coffee. Because then I transition into a scary old hag who will roast you up on a steak and pluck out your eyeballs in the process.

SuperJon: ewww.

BatKid: I told you, Jon, he's disgusting.

***