***

[ Gotham's Freak Club ]

The Walking Dead: you should be banned from social media, Tim. This is what you post and yet you get so many likes and comments. 

Timmy Toes: says that Wayne who has the most followers in the whole family. Ridiculous.

The Walking Dead: like seriously, what the hell is wrong with your followers?

Timmy Toes: same goes for yours. If you can clarify me what's wrong with people who like and comment on your posts, I will gladly do the same.

Demon Spawn: no need, I will clarify for both of you. Both your followers are just lazy, good for nothing millennials who have no other task to do other than looking at pictures from other people's lives. At times, it is extremely sad. This is why the unemployment rate these days is so fucking high. Because all this generation is good at is gluing their eyes to a screen and passing comments about others.

Flying Grayson: holy shit, that was deep.

Timmy Toes: but you do have a point, Damian. 

Timmy's Girlfriend: and I'm still confused whether Damian is angry, thoughtful, disappointed or sad at the moment.

The Walking Dead: probably all of the above at the same time.

The Walking Dead: minus the thoughtful part.

Timmy's Girlfriend: but why?

Flying Grayson: Jon went back to Metropolis this morning.

Timmy's Girlfriend: oh I see...

Demon Spawn: that has nothing to do with how I'm feeling right now, Grayson.

Timmy Toes: keep telling yourself that because none of us here will believe you right now.

Demon Spawn: because you're all a bunch of misfit psychos thrown in together.

Flying Grayson: well, sorry to break the news on you, baby bro, but you're just as much of a misfit psycho as we are. You're family and you can't back off now or deny us because your face is already on the Christmas card! A valid proof.

Demon Spawn: there was no need to get so dramatic, Grayson. You are truly a lost cause.

***

Flying Grayson: look what's trending today.

Timmy's Girlfriend: when Damian was mentioning those lazy, good for nothing millennials, he clearly forgot to add you and Jason into the list.

Demon Spawn: touche.

The Walking Dead: hey... That was offensive.

Timmy's Girlfriend: not gonna take it back.

***

The Walking Dead: you know what, I just realized something and even I am surprised how I hadn't noticed it earlier.

Demon Spawn: prepare yourselves for another dumb exclamation.

The Walking Dead: none of us on this group chat is single anymore!

Timmy Toes: and here I thought you were going to say something we didn't know already.

Demon Spawn: I warned you, Drake, this is what you get for not listening to me earlier.

Timmy's Girlfriend: but seriously though, what's the big deal in it?

Flying Grayson: oh I know... And don't you fucking dare, Jason...

The Walking Dead: we need a new group chat!

Flying Grayson: oh no we don't.

Demon Spawn: too late, Todd has already added me in on it. And for a change, he hasn't assigned any titles yet.

Flying Grayson: this is probably the fiftieth group chat you have added me in, Jason. And each time I leave any chat, you add me in again.

The Walking Dead: get used it to it, bro.

***

[ Gotham's Lovebirds ]

Richard: and you couldn't have thought of a better title?

Jason: why? Are you not a lovebird around Barbara?

Barbara: yes tell me, Richard...

Richard: oh I see, so this is the chat where the girlfriends are added as well.

Steph: and you added me and Cassie too, Jay? That's so sweet of you.

Jon: don't forget the boyfriends.

Richard: right, a code red chat.

Barbara: what did you just say?

Richard: nothing, love.

Barbara: what does he mean by a code red, Jay?

Jason: I have no idea.

Richard: red as in the color of love. Red as in the color of passion, the symbol of affection.

Damian: it is also used to symbolize danger. And I'm pretty sure that's what Grayson meant.

Jason: oh no, this isn't a code red. Well technically, this is a code family chat. All legitimate members and future members of the Wayne family are added.

Damian: even Father and Kyle.

Selina: hello, kids, how are you all doing?

Barbara: we're doing great, Selina, so pleased you could join us!

Richard: so this is a code you better get the fuck out of here Grayson chat.

Barbara: I'm not getting good signals from this, trust me.

***

Selina: I was wondering if anyone could tell me who else is here and who is dating who exactly so that I don't get confused?

Jason: of course. Here's the whole bio. You obviously are married to Bruce.

Selina: I know that, honey, I meant the rest of the people.

Jason: I'm getting on to that. Dick and Barbara have been married for so long now that I'm certain you'll know about them as well. 

Selina: Jason, I know about them... We have family dinners together.

Jason: me and Helena are pretty much married as well but the ring got lost and we couldn't find a priest so...

Helena: he proposes to me every year and yet each time something goes wrong and we can't tie the knot.

Jason: we're still married, love.

Damian: you do argue like a married couple though.

Tim: and that too which is in their nineties, living together in an old home.

Selina: guys, we got distracted.

Jason: then we have Tim who's head over heels in love with Irina. They've been all over the news so you must have known about them too. 

Selina: when are you guys holding the next family dinner? I want to meet Irina.

Irina: hi, I want to meet you too. Tim has told me a lot about you.

Selina: I hope it's all good.

Irina: obviously.

Barbara: we're planning on holding a dinner this month. But you can meet each other before that too, y'know. Drop by at the Manor this evening.

Irina: I'll be there.

Selina: sure.

Jason: hey, don't forget Stephanie and Cassandra who are currently attending university in New Jersey. They were your bridesmaids so I suppose you know about them too.

Selina: I know them obviously but I hadn't known they were dating.

Steph: well, now you do.

Selina: I'm so happy for you both.

Jason: and last but not the least are Damian and Jon.

Selina: Jon Kent?

Jon: right here, Ma'am!

Selina: congratulations, I had no idea that you finally asked Dami out.

Damian: your acknowledgement is greatly appreciated. Jon and I are grateful.

Jason: can't you ever talk like a normal human being?

Tim: he can't. And don't you force him to, Jay, because he might sue you for forcing him to act like something he is not.

Richard: and as far as my experience goes with the law, Timmy is absolutely right.

Damian: no one asked your opinion, Drake.

Jason: good thing you censored yourself, Dami. Because I can still totally see what you were going to type in between your and opinion.

Damian: and I bet you can clearly see which finger I am holding up at you right now.

Selina: it's alright, none of you have to censor yourself because I don't judge anyone. You can do whatever you want on this chat and don't be afraid of a mom lurking around.

Richard: well you're right because you're definitely the coolest mom ever. And I'm sure Dami is just censoring himself because Bruce is on the chat as well.

Selina: he has put the notifications on mute for this chat and would probably never reply. But he reads all the texts at night.

Selina: with a smile on his face.

Jason: aw, I'm so touched.

***

Cassie: good to see that there are no single ladies in this one. And you guys didn't leave us out.

Jason: how could we dare leave you both out? You're just as much a part of the Gotham Lovebirds as we are, no matter what.

Steph: technically me and Cass are not even in Gotham.

Jason: that doesn't matter. And I know you both are coming back home for Christmas holidays.

Cassie: that we are. We'll have a semester break too so we will be staying for much longer after Christmas as well.

Richard: that's fantastic, girls!

Barbara: trust me, the Manor is so boring without you two. I'm glad you'll be here for the holidays.

Helena: I second that.

Steph: and I can't wait to meet the new additions, especially Jon and Irina.

Cassie: speaking of Irina, I have never seen Tim or her active much on this group.

Steph: yeah... Where are they, Jason?

Jason: they're probably in some corner getting all lovey dovey and taking stupid pictures that get so many likes and comments that I seriously think all of Tim's followers are brain dead.

Cassie: what kind of pictures, may I ask?

Steph: you haven't checked Tim's Insta yet? All these pictures are so cute.

Jason: so you're one of the brain dead community as well.

Cassie: I see.

Cassie: and shut up, Jay, you're brain dead if you can't see how cute these two are.

Steph: now I can't wait to come to Gotham.

Cassie: me neither. Can't wait to meet the two lovebirds.

***