***

[ Gotham's Freak Club ]

The Walking Dead: yo, Richard, while you were out shopping with Barbara, you missed out on the best thing that happened today.

Timmy Toes: I almost died of shock.

Demon Spawn: shut up!

Flying Grayson: what happened?

Demon Spawn: if you say another word, Todd, I swear I will slit your throat.

The Walking Dead: you're welcome to try it, bro. Death hates me so I will be back in no time.

Demon Spawn has left the chat.

Timmy Toes: hurry up, Jay, he's probably gone to find a knife or some other weapon.

Flying Grayson: guys, the suspense is killing me!

Flying Grayson: and it doesn't help that I have to report for duty in a few minutes.

Timmy's Girlfriend: but wasn't it your anniversary today?

Flying Grayson: oh hello, Ren, how are you doing?

Flying Grayson: as for the question, I'm a cop sweetheart. I don't get off days, not even on anniversaries. And even if I do take an off, I have to report whenever any calamity strikes.

Timmy Toes: yeah because out of the whole GCPD only you and Commissioner Gordon care about your jobs.

The Walking Dead: the rest won't give a shit even if the whole of Gotham is on fire.

Flying Grayson: it's not like that. You're being really biased here.

Timmy Toes: but seriously, Dick, only you and Jim Gordon are ever serious when it comes to the police or to your duty. I have never once seen any other cop putting up with all the shit that you two do on a daily basis.

Flying Grayson: screw that, just tell me right now what happened that's got Dami so worked up. You have five seconds before I leave the chat. So shoot.

The Walking Dead: so we called Tim and Ren over and gathered the whole family in order to arrange an anniversary party for you guys.

Flying Grayson: that's really sweet, thank you guys!

The Walking Dead: yeah and when the lovely couple turned up, they were... How should I put it? Looking exactly like one does right after a honeymoon.

Flying Grayson: ...

Timmy's Girlfriend: but honestly we both are not to be blamed for that.

The Walking Dead: no one's blaming you. Just let me continue with the story.

Flying Grayson: hurry up then!

The Walking Dead: these two walked in through the door and Damian happened to be passing. The point is that Tim was not wearing a turtleneck and the second Dami saw him, he went all aggressive on poor dear Ren. We had to later give him an hour long lecture on how Timmy had hickeys on his neck not bruises.

Flying Grayson: sweet Jesus! You're not pulling my leg, are you?

Timmy Toes: absolutely not. He was blaming my girlfriend for domestic violence. You should have been there, Dick, it was a total spectacle.

Flying Grayson: I wish I was...

Timmy's Girlfriend: and you don't yet know the best part. When I told him that it was weird for him to get all anxious about Tim since it's common knowledge that he wouldn't give a shit about him being a victim of any sort of violence, he was all like; "only I get to be violent with Drake, no one else. If anyone else dares to lay a hand on him, I'll chop off the fingers and parcel them back one by one and that's the least dangerous thing I could do to that person."

Flying Grayson: oh dear... This is unreal. He really said that?

The Walking Dead: I told you he secretly cares for Tim.

Timmy Toes: I was honestly so touched I didn't even know how to respond to him that time. I wanted to give him a hug but I couldn't risk him getting all murderous in the blink of an eye.

Timmy's Girlfriend: yup, you were just standing there with your jaw hitting the floor in shock trying to process whether it was really Damian who had said that or was it some impostor pretending to be him.

Flying Grayson: 😂

Flying Grayson: gotta go now, kids, but trust me you all made my day. I can't stop laughing.

Timmy's Girlfriend: best of luck, Richard, and try to come back in time for the party.

Flying Grayson: I'll try my best!

***

Timmy's Girlfriend: what I still don't get is that how does Damian not know the difference between hickeys and bruises?

Timmy Toes: ...

Demon Spawn: I know what you're going to say, Drake. And don't you fucking dare!

Timmy Toes: because he doesn't have a girlfriend yet.

Demon Spawn: shut the fuck up, you disgusting piece of shit!

The Walking Dead: 🤣🤣🤣

Timmy's Girlfriend: no seriously, he lives with you guys and it bugs me how he would never have seen hickeys before. Because as far I know, Jay and Richard have quite the reputation for being Gotham's playboys with a lengthy love life history.

The Walking Dead: we don't usually go about flaunting our love bites because as you clearly know by now, the press is an intolerable bitch.

The Walking Dead: besides, Barbara is an ultimate savior when it comes to such situations. She lends her concealer which works as a perfect disguise.

Timmy Toes: concealer? What concealer?

The Walking Dead: shit...

Timmy's Girlfriend: Tim has never worn any concealer.

Timmy Toes: because Jason never told me about that!

Timmy Toes: Jay, you knew I looked stupid in that turtleneck yet you intentionally made me keep wearing it all the fucking time!

The Walking Dead: well...

Timmy Toes: and you didn't tell me about the concealer just so you'd get to see me make a fool out of myself! And also because it would get the darn press even more suspicious... You absolute douchebag!

The Walking Dead: now I wouldn't exactly put it that way... 

Demon Spawn: get him, Drake, he deserves to get beaten up for being such a traitor.

The Walking Dead: Dami, no!

Timmy Toes has left the chat.

The Walking Dead: shit, I'm screwed, aren't I?

Demon Spawn: enjoy the ride, Todd.

The Walking Dead: Ren, are you not going to help me either? If your boyfriend kills me, he'll end up in jail, you know that right? And you wouldn't want that...

Timmy's Girlfriend: relax, he's not going to kill you.

Timmy's Girlfriend: and even if he did, you will be back in no time, right?

Demon Spawn: yup, what fear do you have, Todd? Death hates you...

The Walking Dead: fuck you all.

Timmy Toes: where the fuck are you, Jaybird?

Demon Spawn: I just saw him leave with his motorbike. He's probably miles away by now, the coward.

The Walking Dead: self preservation is the foremost priority.

Timmy Toes: fine then, I'll just wait till you come back.

The Walking Dead: who said anything about coming back?

Timmy Toes: wait, let me show this to Helena then.

The Walking Dead: fuck, I hate you all.

***

Flying Grayson: thank you so much guys, you all are the best. You made Babs really happy today by giving her the best party ever and I am extremely thankful for all the effort you put in for us.

Timmy Toes: yeah, you're welcome.

Demon Spawn: let me remind you that this morning you were the one contemplating why you still lived with us.

Flying Grayson: hey! Those moments come and go, that doesn't mean that I don't love you guys.

Timmy Toes: we love you too, big bro.

Flying Grayson: thank you, Timmy.

Demon Spawn: I love you too, Grayson.

Flying Grayson: aw, of course you do, Baby bro. No need to get jealous of little Timmy here.

Demon Spawn: I'm not getting jealous.

Timmy Toes: yeah... You're not getting jealous at all. That's exactly why you've been staring daggers at me ever since Dick sent that message.

Flying Grayson: now now, kids, there's no need to fight for my affection. I love all of you.

Flying Grayson: equally.

The Walking Dead: sure thing, Mum. And I'm waiting for you to tuck me into bed.

Timmy's Girlfriend: 😂

***