***

[ Gotham's Freak Club ]

The Walking Dead: are you two even alive?

Demon Spawn: who two?

The Walking Dead: Timmy and his girlfriend.

Timmy Toes: of course, Jay.

The Walking Dead: where the fuck have you been?

Timmy's Girlfriend: oh, just having the best time of our life.

The Walking Dead: oh look someone else decided to keep up our tradition. I'm so proud of you Irina! Keep using the gifs, they make everything twice better.

Demon Spawn: disgusting... The things you people do for this unnecessary emotion called love.

Timmy's Girlfriend: aw, Dami, we'll get you a girlfriend too.

Demon Spawn: I do NOT need a girlfriend!

Timmy Toes: or a boyfriend, if you prefer.

Demon Spawn: I'm better off on my own.

Timmy Toes: admit it, you're going to die single.

Demon Spawn: just wait till you get home, Drake.

Timmy's Girlfriend: is that a threat?

Demon Spawn: you stay out of it.

Flying Grayson: no fighting on our group chat, kids!

Flying Grayson: so back to our lovely lovebirds, how's life?

Timmy Toes: absolutely fantastic.

Flying Grayson: I saw the Instagram post. You two have really decided to go public after all.

The Walking Dead: what Instagram post?

Flying Grayson: here, take a look. Tim posted it this morning.

Flying Grayson: and he also had a very lovely caption.

Flying Grayson: Coffee with the love of my life=Paradise Regained.

Flying Grayson: Babs told me that you've made a literary reference in there. Something about John Milton.

Demon Spawn: ah I see. But in my opinion, with a person like Drake, Paradise Lost would be more equivalent.

Timmy Toes: in case you haven't noticed, me and Ren have gone past that. Paradise Regained came after Paradise Lost.

Timmy Toes: go read your books, you high school dropout.

Demon Spawn: I did not drop out of high school; I received advanced education. You moron!

The Walking Dead: wait a second...

The Walking Dead: I know this room. You two have been in Drake Manor this whole time!?!?

Timmy Toes: guilty as charged.

***

Timmy Toes: who the hell told the press of our location?

Timmy Toes: there's a queue of reporters outside so we can't stay out anymore and we had to close all the curtains as well due to the pestering cameras.

The Walking Dead: welcome to celebrity love life, bitch.

The Walking Dead: for life saving tips, contact Richard Grayson. He's an expert on this topic by now.

Timmy's Girlfriend: so we were in the garden appreciating beautiful mother nature, when the paparazzi started crowding around rudely interrupting us with their camera flashes.

The Walking Dead: I hadn't known appreciating mother nature included this as well.

Timmy's Girlfriend: looks like the most sought after job in Gotham today is to breach our privacy and leak our pictures.

Flying Grayson: the whole of Twitter and Instagram has been exploding by now. I bet that Buzzfeed will release an article on you both very soon.

Timmy Toes: I still don't know who the fuck told them about us...

The Walking Dead: you did. At the Fall Gala.

Timmy Toes: not that. I meant about us in Drake Manor.

Timmy Toes: Jason, my inner sense is indicating towards you.

The Walking Dead: what? Me? I would never...

Flying Grayson: me neither.

Timmy Toes: just wait till I find out the culprit.

Timmy's Girlfriend: what the fuck, Tim! This gif looks like you if you hadn't slept in years!

Timmy's Girlfriend: please, Timmy, do not deprive yourself of that much sleep ever again.

Flying Grayson: and you're alone with him, Ren, so keep in mind that if you ever need help we'll be just a text away.

Demon Spawn: and you all call me the little demon. Even when the proof is in front of you.

Timmy Toes: don't worry, my wrath is only certified for you guys, not for Ren. Besides she's perfectly capable of fighting off demons by herself. 

The Walking Dead: obviously. You're all lovey dovey with her. Isn't that why she calls you princess?

Timmy's Girlfriend: how did you find that out, Jay?

The Walking Dead: I have my trusty little spies.

Timmy Toes: tell them to stay the fuck away from me, my girlfriend, my phone and my Instagram.

Timmy Toes: my twitter too.

Timmy Toes: or else you will be suffering consequences.

The Walking Dead: fine. Now stop transitioning into a scary hag or I'll be forced to change your title in the group chat.

***

Demon Spawn: are you ever going to come back or not?

Timmy Toes: why? You missing me already?

Demon Spawn: on second thoughts, stay in Drake Manor forever...

Timmy Toes: gladly. If only you help me drive out the press.

Demon Spawn: this place feels so calm and peaceful without you.

The Walking Dead: calm and peaceful? Challenge accepted.

***

Demon Spawn: holy fucking shit, Todd!

Demon Spawn: you did not just do that!

Timmy Toes: I don't know what Jay has done but judging by the effect, I really want to give him a congratulatory high five.

Timmy's Girlfriend: what are you guys up to, by the way?

Flying Grayson: remind me again why I live with you people...

Timmy Toes: because you love us, big bro.

Flying Grayson: the things I have to put up with just by being you lot's big bro.

Timmy Toes: don't forget, you're a Wayne by choice. You weren't born stuck with us in fact it was your decision to stay with us.

Timmy Toes: or in other words, you should have gotten used to all our antics by now.

Flying Grayson: I know... Trust me, I know very well...

***

Timmy Toes: Happy Anniversary, Richard!

Timmy's Girlfriend: oh my God, you both look stunning! I really have to meet Barbara. And the rest of the family too.

Tommy Toes: of course. We'll plan something soon.

Timmy's Girlfriend: remember Timmy when I had said your whole family has awesome genes... These two are a proof of that.

The Walking Dead: you can't meet the lovely couple right now though. 

Timmy's Girlfriend: why?

The Walking Dead: they're busy doing their special anniversary things.

Timmy's Girlfriend: so you mean like celebrating and stuff.

The Walking Dead: nope. Take a look for yourself.

Timmy's Girlfriend: shopping?

The Walking Dead: Barbara is a huge shopaholic. Her favorite thing to do on her anniversary or basically any other day is shopping.

Timmy Toes: but you do remember that we have to arrange a party or something for them, right? Or else she'll go from sweet to sour real quick.

The Walking Dead: yeah...

Timmy Toes: and this time Ren will be invited and I will not take no for an answer.

The Walking Dead: of course, why not?

Timmy's Girlfriend: lovely.

The Walking Dead: now get your ass back to the Manor, Tim, we've got to start planning. 

***