***

[ T <•> J ]

J: so about that girlfriend of yours...

T: what about her?

J: do you know who she is?

T: yes, why?

J: and you're not going to tell us?

T: no.

J: damn it.

***

J: so I just noticed this thing about you...

J: whenever the press mentions Irina Luthor, you start blushing like an idiot.

J: and trust me that's not helping your case at all.

J: it's only making them much more convinced that you're in some secret relationship with her.

T: I do not blush.

J: and if not for the blushing, then you have this adorable laugh when you get too flustered.

T: I don't know what you're talking about...

J: you remember I was in the audience of that interview you gave yesterday?

T: so?

J: this was your reaction when the press mentioned Irina Luthor.

T: what the fuck, Jay!

J: you look absolutely lovestruck. With those dreamy eyes and the very noticeable blush on your face.

J: and I am worried for your mental health now.

T: I'm perfectly fine, Jason.

J: can you not see the blush on your cheeks?

T: shut up.

J: and this, seconds after the first photograph.

T: why is it in black and white?

J: because you were redder than a tomato so I thought I may as well censor so much blood rushing to your cheeks.

T: that's absolutely stupid, Jay.

J: I know right. I've been telling you this for so long now.

T: you know what... Just forget it. You're a lost cause.

J: and you're a lovestruck one.

T: shut up.

J: you shut up.

***

J: the weirdest part is that I have noticed the same with Irina Luthor.

T: how much free time do you have exactly? Go find a job other than sitting through interviews just to bitch about them later.

J: I don't just sit through interviews, I also get some photography done.

J: this is when the press asked her about you.

J: I think whatever is between you guys is a two sided crush.

T: honestly Jay, find something worthwhile to do. You're wasting your life. And it's a pity really because you died then got a second chance and came back. But instead of changing for the better, you are still wasting your life.

***

J: okay so quick question, is the press really right about you and your secret girlfriends?

T: fucking shit, Jason, you made me spit out coffee again!

J: your fault entirely.

J: but seriously bro, you're not playing with both of them, are you? Because I am really suspicious right now.

T: no I'm not. I have only one girlfriend and you know who that is.

J: I would normally have taken your word for that but right now I'm just not sure.

J: you know what, I'm telling your girlfriend.

T: please do.

T: but tell me first that how exactly will you text her? When she sees that your number is the same as the one she's got saved as Red Hood, won't she have any questions?

J: shit.

J: I didn't think about that.

T: the only reason she hasn't yet found out is because I put a privacy on phone numbers in our group chat. If she had checked that too, you would have been exposed.

T: then all of us would have been exposed.

J: yeah...

J: you're right though.

T: told you.

J: though I will get to the bottom of this, Babybird, you mark my words.

T: I don't know why you're so interested in my love life.

J: in case you don't know, the whole of Gotham is interested in your love life.

***

J: tell you what, I hadn't thought that before but now I know that you two in an interview together are a disaster.

T: not again, Jason.

J: this is you looking at Irina Luthor.

J: I mean now even I don't doubt the press.

J: and as a bonus, I also got one of her.

T: she's not looking at me in this one, you're just making it all up.

J: oh yeah?

J: let's hear the question that made her go all bashful like that.

T: you know what Jason, I'm just going to block you.

J: hey!

T: because there's no other way to shut you up.

***

[ T <•> I ]

I: since I hadn't known about your birthday earlier, I couldn't give you your gift.

I: meet me at the rooftop tonight.

***

T: Irina...

I: love you too, darling.

***

T: you were not the only one with a late gift though. Damian decided to surprise me.

I: really?

T: yup. Let me show you.

I: he got you a puppy? That's so sweet.

T: I know right, I couldn't believe my eyes.

I: this is the cutest picture I have ever seen.

T: the puppy is really cute.

I: but I think you're even cuter.

***

T: so what shall I name my little pup?

I: you've been asking me to choose a lot for you these days.

T: isn't that what couples do?

I: I guess.

I: how about Caramel?

T: perfect.

I: I really want to meet this little cutie now.

T: next time you visit, I'll bring Caramel up as well.

***

T: when my girlfriend wants to hide from the press but she's so gorgeous that they spot her anyway.

I: Awww.

I: I love this picture, Tim ❤

I: and I've got one of you too.

I: that's from when you were waiting at the bus stop.

T: your camera settings are a little out. I'll set them for you.

I: sure.

T: but since you took this picture, it's just perfect the way it is.

I: stop being so adorable, princess.

***

I: but all things aside, this is the best picture of us.

T: I wish we could take more.

I: we can't, sweetheart, if any of the pictures got leaked in which we are together, both the press and your family will not give us any relief.

T: why my family though?

I: because they don't yet know that Irina Luthor and Ren are one and the same.

T: yeah... You're right.

T: sometimes I want to run away with you somewhere far far away so that there's no fear of the press.

I: the idea is tempting.

I: just me and you. And no one else.

T: let's make it happen. I can get Bruce to lend me his private jet.

I: but if both of us disappeared at the same time, there will be even more conspiracy theories.

***

T: I'm 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bones. Sarcasm is my only defense.

I: where did you steal that line from?

T: the internet is always a good source. Plus, it fits, doesn't it?

I: you're 147 pounds?

T: when I last checked... I might have lost a few pounds by now though, I'm not sure.

I: goodness Tim, you really need to pay attention to your eating habits. I don't want you to starve to death.

***

I: this is why I call you princess 💕

T: where did you get this from!

I: like you said, the internet is always a good source.

***

I: why, Tim? You didn't have to hide your pretty face!

T: I thought you were posting it somewhere.

I: of course not. I'm not stupid to post any picture on my social media. That would be like an open announcement.

T: I thought you were posting it on our group chat.

I: oh...

I: now that's an alternative.

T: no, please no. Or else I won't hear the end of it from Dick and Jay.

***