***

[ T <•> I ]

I: why the hell is this city so fucked up?

T: I don't know, I don't possess divine wisdom.

I: like seriously, does your police even do anything or do they leave all the dirty work to the Bats?

T: there are very few people in the GCPD who actually give a flying crap for their jobs.

I: for example?

T: Commissioner Gordon. He's the best detective out there and an extremely well trained cop.

T: and the other one is my brother Richard.

***

I: Richard works in the police?

T: he's an officer.

I: how the hell is he so fit then?

T: excuse me?

I: I'm sorry but when I think of police officers, all I can imagine are those from films and TV shows who can't go anywhere without their donuts and are fat middle aged men.

T: oh...

T: Richard loves donuts too, he says it's an addiction he got from working in the police department.

I: yet the calories don't catch up to him?

T: because he works out a lot.

T: his worst nightmare is him becoming a fat middle aged officer.

T: so he does all in his power to prevent that nightmare from becoming true.

I: I see.

I: he wants to remain the hot cop forever.

T: kinda

***

T: you think Richard is a hot cop?

I: definitely, I would date him if he wasn't taken already.

T: yeah, I know that very well.

I: then why are you asking?

T: because he wanted to confirm that.

T: oh and he says he's become your fan after this generous compliment.

I: really?

I: when are you bringing him to the rooftop with you?

T: never.

***

I: that's not fair.

T: what?

I: you shouldn't be so insecure.

I: all I ask for is to meet your brothers and you always refuse.

T: I have my reasons.

***

I: what reasons?

T: it would be extremely awkward for me.

I: why?

T: both Richard and Jay are extremely skilled in making ladies fall head over heels for them.

I: that's because they might be extremely charming.

T: yes, they are.

T: out of us, Richard has had the most girlfriends. Sometimes it feels as if him and Bruce are competing on that.

I: even Bruce?

T: even Bruce.

***

I: so I know you are not letting me meet them because you're scared it would lessen your chances.

T: what chances?

I: now don't act like an innocent toddler who knows nothing.

I: you know very well what I'm talking about.

***

T: I am not insecure.

T: I just don't want you to end up hating me because of them.

I: hey! 

I: Are you dumb? Why would I hate you?

T: I don't know but I can't take any risks. They're that sort of people; highly unpredictable and extremely proficient in cooking up trouble. You never know what will happen next if those two are involved.

T: they could set you on fire and blame it one me.

T: and trust me I do not want anything of that sort to happen.

***

I: remember when I had told you that your whole family has awesome genes...

T: not again.

I: I hadn't meant about the looks.

T: oh.

I: because you are really cute yourself.

T: ...

I: I just meant about the charm. Their ability of making ladies fall head over heels for them. You lack that.

T: and I happen to know that very well.

T: now if you're going to say that not having a girlfriend at 22 is proof enough for that, then please don't.

T: because I fucking know that!

I: hey, why are you getting so emotional?

T: sorry.

T: our coffee maker broke. And I have been mourning since the past one hour.

I: oh... Makes sense. 

I: why don't you go buy a new one?

T: Richard and Barbara went for grocery shopping and they said they would bring it. But I seriously suspect that they have gone off to a date instead of coming straight home after the grocery shopping.

T: so I can't do anything but lament.

I: poor you, I am paying off my sincerest condolences in honor of the coffee maker. 

***

T: so I still don't get why you were bringing that whole family thing up earlier and I was too edgy to let you finish. Sorry for that though.

I: it's alright.

T: so what was that whole charm thing about?

I: I was only going to say that just because you don't exude that charm doesn't mean you won't find love in your life.

I: and you should never ever feel insecure about that.

T: oh. Right.

I: I mean look at you, you are just so clueless that it's downright adorable and with your baby blue eyes and innocent features, you have a uniqueness of your own.

T: that's very nice of you, Ren.

T: thank you.

I: I was not saying that to obtain gratitude from you, idiot.

I: I just want you to be a little more confident about yourself.

I: so what if your brothers have that Greek god persona and effortlessly cool outlook?

I: you're the most adorable and cutest person I have ever met. And that's your specialty.

I: I know I might find a lot of hot dudes like your brothers but I will never find anyone as pure as you. You are honestly too precious for this world.

T: wait a second...

T: are you drunk?

I: no. I just want to say that you're lovely Tim and please don't ever change.

T: where are you?

I: and even if you introduced me to either of your brothers, it won't make me stop looking at you that way, it would not change anything at all. Because you are you and I like you for being yourself. 

T: so this is what you're like when you get a little high.

I: high? What high?

I: what the fuck are you talking about?

T: go to sleep, Ren, you're probably too drunk to function.

I: no I am not.

T: yes you are.

T: good night.

T: and thanks again for being such a great motivational speaker.

***

I: so I read all our conversation from last night...

T: oh cool, what do you think now that you're sober?

I: I'm impressed.

I: no spelling mistakes and no grammatical errors. That's a great improvement.

T: it sure is.

T: and I have to say thank you because truth be told I was feeling a little down last night and you cheered me up.

I: glad to be of some help, Timmy.

I: why were you feeling down last night?

T: family troubles, nothing new and nothing to worry about.

I: you sure?

T: one hundred percent.

***